This week began with a lot of fuss surrounding my 43rd birthday. Mom visited to start the celebration with shopping and several delicious meals, both delightful luxuries for me. Students and families showered me with gifts, cards, flowers, food and other delightful treats and encouraged me by their abundant loving kindness. Having kicked off the birthday week on a high, it ended on a bummer low (literally), flat on my back. For the first time, ever, I fell out of bed (yes, I did). The result felt a bit like I was in a car accident.
Typically, Thursday evening feels like the night before the last college final with all the intensity of the week and the anticipation of Friday and a restful weekend ahead. With two working parents and three active daughters, sometimes our family gatherings happen at the most unusual times and places. This event occurred in the dark in our bedroom with Mom, Dad and girls gathered on the bed. I was sitting on the bed and decided to lay down on my side. Little did I know how close I was to the edge as I fell 2+ feet to the floor and landed with "old lady moans and groans". The family exploded with laughter as I assessed the damage. A fall at age 43 lands between the flexible/bouncy body of a 5 year old and the life threatened body of an 80 year old. With many prior bulging discs, including some flattening of the spinal cord, this was no small event!
In addition to bodily injury, just this week, I've had multiple reminders of the joy of aging while entering the mid-forties. I can't seem to get the hang of my bi-focals, so I tend to only wear them while driving. Teacher friends have assisted me during faculty meetings with important details on the white board and corrected me as I wrongly identified the names of children across the hall from me. During a recent Sunday worship service, the order of worship led me to design the perfect music for my memorial service. You know you're getting old when the combination of hymns reminds you of your mortality and the glorious reality of entering eternity with the Lord. On a lighter note, while birthday shopping in the Apple store, the sales person compared me to his grandmother as he encouraged my teen daughters to be patient with me as I learn the features of my new phone. Sometimes I wonder if the combination of raising teenagers and teaching kindergarten will keep me young or if it will speed up the process of increasingly gray hair. It certainly keeps me humble and in constant prayer for wisdom and strength!
Obviously, this update covers much silly news from the events of the week. On a serious note, the forties also bring increased gratitude for long standing friendships and the many forms of communication which enable birthday greetings from all over the country. For over 4 decades, God has used incredible friends and family to shape and form my life and to increase my love for him, his glory and his people. Along with all of the physical reminders, I'm increasingly aware of my need for dependance upon the Lord for spiritual strength and wisdom.
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from who every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he many grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-- that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Providence and Perseverance
Exactly 20 years ago, I graduated from Vanderbilt with a bachelors degree in elementary education. Peabody College is known for its quality education program and produces teachers who are well trained, eager and who have big visions for their classrooms. This describes me as I started my first day in an inner city classroom located in Jacksonville, Florida surrounded by some of the roughest projects in the area. One of my coworkers was held at gun point IN the classroom on a work day, just down the hall from me.
On the first day of school, I awoke a nervous and excited mess with ideal images of a classroom filled with beautiful 7 and 8 year old children. Shockingly, early on the first day, one of my students took money off of my desk and proceeded to give me the finger while standing on his desk. I still think of this boy (who became precious to me) and often wonder what life is like for him at 27 years of age. However, I remember my second morning before school (at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and an unfinished bowl of cereal) just like it was yesterday. The orange juice did not stay down due to nerves and the cereal was discarded before taking the 25 minute drive across the river to the other side of town. I kept thinking THIS is not what I signed up for.... THIS is not why I went into education.... and I just can't do THIS! I grumbled and complained at God's providence as if he had made a mistake, as if he didn't know what was best for me and as if he wasn't sufficient to help me persevere in a role he called me to and lovingly provided for me.
Recently, I've had moments of grumbling against God's provision for me similar to that second morning of my first job. I've had some of the exact same thoughts..... THIS is not what I want! I've thought back on that surprisingly wonderful year in the inner city of Jacksonville and remembered the Lord's gracious provision for each day. Years later, there were "fish stories" from that principal about this "little girl" who managed a challenging classroom in the early 90's. Coworkers shared these annoying stories with me (as they rolled their eyes) long after I moved to Philadelphia and started teaching in a private Christian school.
As some of you know, nearly all of my blog posts (and this one will be no different) make some mention of my father and his influence in my life. With his birthday approaching, this seems particularly fitting. While living on my own in Jacksonville, paying bills for the first time without any familiar relationships (& still not acquainted with Kyle), Dad was one of the people who encouraged me to endure, to dig deep and to finish what I started-- difficulty and all. Of course, he was great with the idea of welcoming me back to Oklahoma after that year- considering I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville, let alone the state of Florida. His life was characterized by determination and perseverance. As his daughter, I was challenged to no less than this fine example. Now, I find myself, once again, discontent with God's providence in my life. The strength of my earthly father combined with the overwhelming grace, presence and almighty strength of my heavenly father encourages me to press on once again and to give thanks in all circumstances!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
On the first day of school, I awoke a nervous and excited mess with ideal images of a classroom filled with beautiful 7 and 8 year old children. Shockingly, early on the first day, one of my students took money off of my desk and proceeded to give me the finger while standing on his desk. I still think of this boy (who became precious to me) and often wonder what life is like for him at 27 years of age. However, I remember my second morning before school (at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and an unfinished bowl of cereal) just like it was yesterday. The orange juice did not stay down due to nerves and the cereal was discarded before taking the 25 minute drive across the river to the other side of town. I kept thinking THIS is not what I signed up for.... THIS is not why I went into education.... and I just can't do THIS! I grumbled and complained at God's providence as if he had made a mistake, as if he didn't know what was best for me and as if he wasn't sufficient to help me persevere in a role he called me to and lovingly provided for me.
Recently, I've had moments of grumbling against God's provision for me similar to that second morning of my first job. I've had some of the exact same thoughts..... THIS is not what I want! I've thought back on that surprisingly wonderful year in the inner city of Jacksonville and remembered the Lord's gracious provision for each day. Years later, there were "fish stories" from that principal about this "little girl" who managed a challenging classroom in the early 90's. Coworkers shared these annoying stories with me (as they rolled their eyes) long after I moved to Philadelphia and started teaching in a private Christian school.
As some of you know, nearly all of my blog posts (and this one will be no different) make some mention of my father and his influence in my life. With his birthday approaching, this seems particularly fitting. While living on my own in Jacksonville, paying bills for the first time without any familiar relationships (& still not acquainted with Kyle), Dad was one of the people who encouraged me to endure, to dig deep and to finish what I started-- difficulty and all. Of course, he was great with the idea of welcoming me back to Oklahoma after that year- considering I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville, let alone the state of Florida. His life was characterized by determination and perseverance. As his daughter, I was challenged to no less than this fine example. Now, I find myself, once again, discontent with God's providence in my life. The strength of my earthly father combined with the overwhelming grace, presence and almighty strength of my heavenly father encourages me to press on once again and to give thanks in all circumstances!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
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