Today is our 5th Father's Day since we lost Dad. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in other ways it seems like he's been gone for decades. Within a week of his passing, we were in the middle of memorial service plans and discussions. My brother John quickly showed interest in speaking at the service and I immediately told Mom I could not share anything due to my complicated relationship with Dad. Mom responded by saying something about how my perspective gives one of the many facets of him. She encouraged me to think about it. So I did. Below are the thoughts I put together in the midst of shock and intense grief. I ended up sharing this at his memorial service. Five years seems like a fitting time to record this for future decades. I have since gotten a new computer and only have a paper copy of these words and memories. This morning I was visiting with a friend who recently lost her Dad and it hit me that Father's Day doesn't get any easier with the years. The loss remains the same while the bitter pain softens with time. For anyone interested in a lengthy read of great value to me, here is my Dad.
September 15, 2012
Dad was a leader in business, in the Tulsa community and he was the fascinating leader and life force in our family. As his only daughter, I was not always the best follower, but I was one of his biggest fans and we enjoyed a colorful and exciting relationship. Over 4 decades, Mom, John and I repeatedly received the same comment from others that caused us to laugh or roll our eyes: "It must be so fun to have Carl as a husband or father." While he dazzled the world with his humor, magic and charismatic personality, he did not perform for us. He was our audience, cheerleader and he provided the faithful support, which enabled us to reach our goals, overcome challenges and to have abundantly blessed lives. As a child and young adult, I was horribly scared of heights, however, Dad made sure we climbed Mt. Crested Butte together regularly, a climb that includes significant exposure. Year after year, I froze in paranoid fear with Dad often right behind me. He got me up the mountain one rock at a time, as he selected each rock to grab a hold of and he found stable footing for the next step. He literally pushed me to the peak as he called out yards to go and he never doubted my ability to make it. In his mind, fear was an opportunity to push yourself and there was never a goal out of reach. This captures well his support throughout my life! Our family became very familiar with his well-worn magic tricks, spoon hanging skills and endless episodes of blowing paper off of his nose and we always enjoyed a front row seat as he brought joy and bewilderment to new audiences. In just over seventy years, he never met a stranger and he always assumed you were fast friends upon meeting. Even as a 1st grader, he entered the classroom on the first day and began passing out books without directions from the teacher.
As I reflect on Dad's strong and abiding role in my life for 42 years, I am grateful for his example of generosity and his love of adventure. His exceptional work ethic inspires me. Not only did he manage an industrious and successful career, but he did it with a unique, refreshing and healthy perspective. Among the countless memories and experiences with Dad, including ski trips where skiing at fast speeds was mandatory, father/daughter trips, climbing the Butte, hiking to Aspen and Young family trips around the globe, a memory that stands out to me was after the birth of our first child. I got an infection that knocked me out. Dad's care for his first granddaughter and for me was beautiful and unforgettable. He waited on us like a nurse maid and believe it or not, he did it quietly.
Perhaps one of the qualities I admire the most and try to imitate is his ability to endure difficulty and suffering with a positive and determined perspective. One of his famous lines to our family was, "You've got to get beyond this." As we grieve the tremendous loss in our family, we do so knowing he would expect us to carry on his legacy with purpose, faith, humor and with optimism.
Over the past few weeks, John and I have relived countless memories to share with you, but 99% of those stories have been vetoed by our mother. These conversations will have to continue in more private quarters for years to come. Needless to say, Dad was unlike any other. He did not fit into any mold or abide by any cultural or social norm set by this world. He was exceptionally unique, genuine and charming. I think we can all agree that we are better for having known him and that he left his mark on each of us. People were never indifferent to his presence in their lives.
While our family has poured over the guestbook on Caring Bridge finding much comfort with each entry, one post resonated with my impression of Dad. Francisco Romero shared a writing from Theodore Roosevelt which I would like to share with you:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
One of my last memories with Dad, just 5 days before his accident, was on our last day in Crested Butte. After two weeks of endless activities related to his passions and interests; including opera events for the music festival, multiple stunning hikes, and Dad's latest pleasure of baking cookies almost daily, he wanted us to see more of the sights and to finish our vacation strong. So, he gave us a list of exciting and beautiful places he would drive us and even named a few more hikes to consider. To his dismay and surprise, our family wanted to sit and watch the Olympics before the 13 hour drive the next day. In Dad's world, relaxing was reserved for naps and bedtime. He was always in the action (possibly making a scene) while capturing another beautiful image on his camera. A day with nothing on the schedule while we were on vacation was a foreign concept to him. He was even known to critique our mother/daughter trips if he felt we were not actively engaged in our surroundings. I remember vividly Dad recounting the Oliphint's puzzling choice to Mom later in the day and as always, after nearly 50 years of marriage, she responded masterfully. While my initial thought about this decision included much regret for missing one last drive/adventure with Dad, he would tell me to get over it.
I find great comfort and rejoice knowing that the amazing grace and abundant mercy of the Lord has allowed Dad to enter a new arena where he will spend an eternity basking in the glory of his surroundings. He will witness beauty and have experiences beyond anything this world has to offer. And we all know Dad expended every ounce of energy living life to the fullest and spreading joy in this world. With eager anticipation, I look forward to joining him some day where there will be a whole new list of things for him to share with us. My next "drive" with Dad (figuratively speaking) will be worth the wait and will be gloriously surrounded by the perfection of the Lord's presence.
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
A New Chapter
Today marks a first for me as I'm anxiously awaiting my child returning home for the holidays. Even now she is wrapping up classes and packing the car to travel for Thanksgiving. It is such a surreal experience to think of her visiting just like grandparents, aunts and uncles have done over the years. After so many tears, a roller coaster of emotions from senior year and the gut wrenching sadness (practically removing a limb from my body as we dropped her off at college), we're adjusting to a season with our daughter becoming an adult with many new experiences for her and the rest of us. There are perks as we find ourselves fitting into 4 tops at restaurants once again after almost 15 years at the big table. Communication efforts have increased in delightful ways with phone calls, Facetime, Snap Chat and so on, considering we don't have the normal daily routine of her coming and going in our household with quick hellos and goodbyes. Our entire house has a different feel without her calming, measured and strong personality. It doesn't seem normal, just yet. Family dynamics are changing and often unsettled. You might say, I've been off my A-game this fall, to say the least. I know we will find a new normal and then another one and then another one as the girls gradually move on to college in the next 3 + years, but for now, it feels like we're at the beginning of something big and something very good. For 19 years, we planted seeds, we guided, we listened, we lectured, we yelled, we encouraged, we comforted, we fought, we counseled, we asked for forgiveness and we prayed. There's something truly spectacular about seeing your child step out on her own and watching as she owns her faith and as she makes decisions that reflect years of upbringing, yet also seeing her independence and the opportunity for her to begin a life on her own, doing things her way, with the Lord's goodness guiding and sustaining her in the midst of various trials. As I eagerly await the arrival of sweet Katie Belle and also her grandmother traveling ahead of her on the same Oklahoma highway, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving for the Lord's goodness to our family at the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. His steadfast love never ends. I'm in awe of His faithfulness as I begin to see my own child in a new light and watch her shine brightly in this world. She was never mine to keep. This becomes increasingly real as her time with us will be in spurts (visits) from this time forward. For now, we will shower her with the goodness that comes with a first time being home for the holidays. I hope your family also enjoys the comfort of being surrounded by family and friends at Thanksgiving. I imagine many of you, like us, ache and long for those who have gone home to be with the Lord as you celebrate. May the comfort and peace of Christ overwhelm your hearts during the holiday season.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Peaks and Valleys
Summer 2016 comes to a close with new beginnings and possibilities like every year, but this year includes unfamiliar sadness. The final weekend of summer hits immediately after leaving our daughter on a college campus and driving home without her. We just left her there! In addition to a heavy weight of sadness, there's a sense of rejoicing--- "We did it!" We raised that loving, beautiful young lady now exploring possibilities and dreams on her own. It feels something like a mountain top high, but it comes after the intensity and exhaustion of the final steps climbing the peak, where your heart hurts from the altitude and your legs give out from the steep incline.
Every year we spend the dog days of summer in our beloved Crested Butte. One of our annual traditions is to climb the peak of the Butte. However, due to a tragic death on the mountain, the Oliphints decided not to climb this year. For some odd reason, I have a huge desire to complete this annual event, so I tagged along with my brother's family. Being crazy scared of heights and with such great exposure on the peak, I've come to believe if I can tackle that mountain each year, I can handle anything the Lord brings into my life during the following months. While hiking at a fast pace, completely out of breath and above tree line, we were told to turn back due to storms in the area. I was not able to reach the peak this year. It hit me on this brief hike and others of incline in the area that a "mountain top high" only comes after the effort and pain of the journey. I've always thought of the high being one of peace and joy. However, it is in the valley where there is rest. You can hike at leisure with no need for exertion. Summer felt like a hike through a quiet valley. I am renewed and ready to start the climb of another school year.
Being in the mid-to-late : ( forties, I've noticed a growing difficulty with breathing while on the mountain. During one of many needed stops, in the heat of the day, I stepped into the cleft of a rock needing shade. This was a visual reminder to me of the protection that comes from the Lord as the good shepherd of our souls. While I am heartbroken by the absence of our daughter at home, I know she is where the Lord will do great things in her life. She will experience the intensity of reaching peaks on her own and the rest that comes from hiding herself in the Lord's goodness, whether in the midst of the climb or in the valley. To stick with the hiking analogy, we filled her backpack with all the necessary supplies and we even drove her to the trailhead. Now, she walks with the Lord. All praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing us the incredible joy and privilege of raising Katie Belle Oliphint, because we know she will be used for good and for His glory!
Every year we spend the dog days of summer in our beloved Crested Butte. One of our annual traditions is to climb the peak of the Butte. However, due to a tragic death on the mountain, the Oliphints decided not to climb this year. For some odd reason, I have a huge desire to complete this annual event, so I tagged along with my brother's family. Being crazy scared of heights and with such great exposure on the peak, I've come to believe if I can tackle that mountain each year, I can handle anything the Lord brings into my life during the following months. While hiking at a fast pace, completely out of breath and above tree line, we were told to turn back due to storms in the area. I was not able to reach the peak this year. It hit me on this brief hike and others of incline in the area that a "mountain top high" only comes after the effort and pain of the journey. I've always thought of the high being one of peace and joy. However, it is in the valley where there is rest. You can hike at leisure with no need for exertion. Summer felt like a hike through a quiet valley. I am renewed and ready to start the climb of another school year.
Being in the mid-to-late : ( forties, I've noticed a growing difficulty with breathing while on the mountain. During one of many needed stops, in the heat of the day, I stepped into the cleft of a rock needing shade. This was a visual reminder to me of the protection that comes from the Lord as the good shepherd of our souls. While I am heartbroken by the absence of our daughter at home, I know she is where the Lord will do great things in her life. She will experience the intensity of reaching peaks on her own and the rest that comes from hiding herself in the Lord's goodness, whether in the midst of the climb or in the valley. To stick with the hiking analogy, we filled her backpack with all the necessary supplies and we even drove her to the trailhead. Now, she walks with the Lord. All praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing us the incredible joy and privilege of raising Katie Belle Oliphint, because we know she will be used for good and for His glory!
Monday, July 18, 2016
The Shadow of the Almighty
The long awaited return trip to Zambia is in the books, but not without leaving a lasting and eternal impression on me, not to mention some nagging jet lag over the past week or so. Being in the schools after four years, comes with a perspective of incredible progress that might not be as obvious from year to year. It is staggering to consider the growth in facilities, staff, curriculum, training and general care for the children in the schools. To be sure, the challenges seem insurmountable to my weak faith, but the take home from this trip is one of God powerfully and tenderly defending the orphan amidst hopeless surroundings. I witnessed incredible human souls, my brothers and sisters in Christ across the globe, as the hands and feet of Jesus to His children. It was an enormous privilege to be a part of His good plan in the midst of such sacred work.
My first trip to Zambia was a tangible expression of "the joy of the Lord" as true joy shined in the lives of defenseless orphans. Their lives continue to testify of the joy and strength that comes from knowing Christ, but the protection and provision of the Lord for His children was overwhelming to my eyes, my mind and my heart this year. Each morning we drove through impoverished streets on the way to school. As we entered the gates, hundreds of the most beautiful children greeted us, waving excitedly with bright eyes and eager smiles, each of them having just finished the long journey to school on foot through the same poor surroundings. Every morning my Zambian partner would check the fingernails, hair and teeth of her students and then remind them of general needs and upkeep. This struck me deeply as someone noticed the details of their lives with tender care, something we take for granted in our comfortable homes, but that orphaned and vulnerable children go without each day. She was in tune with their physical needs and tended to them. The school day is gloriously routine with scriptures, prayers, great progress in reading and with daily nutrition. Books and desks are a luxury and lunch/recess includes a continual wave of dust in your eyes and face, so unlike the schools in the US, but the joy of learning to read is no different from my kindergarten classroom in Texas. Kids are kids no matter the age, race, class or status. My students in Zambia had the same enthusiasm for the power and ownership of tackling words, sentences and meaning in books. Like so many of the American teachers serving, I struggled with how I could help the most during such a limited time. The Lord answered my prayers beyond what I could have imagined as we were matched with our Zambian teachers and classrooms so perfectly. The mission for this trip was a focus on a reading, my passion in the classroom. As these schools serve the most vulnerable children and the orphans of Zambia, the need is great, beyond my understanding, but I am truly grateful to be used in a very small way in the Lord's unfathomable work on behalf of His children and to see so clearly His loving care and protection for each of them.
One of the greatest joys of this trip was a reunion with my sweet Francis, our sponsored child. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to God for the incredible strides in his life since we first met. Having lived in the darkness and hopelessness of the streets in the compounds for much of his life, Francis is now overcoming that darkness with faith and hope and even goals to make a difference in the world. We had a number of meaningful conversations. Our final exchange and goodbye included me reminding him of our great God and His faithful provision and protection for him. Once again, after waiting 4 years for this treasured visit, the growth in his life, physically, intellectually and spiritually, is overwhelming. God's good work shines brightly in the midst of what seems impossible. While I am not comfortable or gifted in mission work (I go reluctantly in many ways), I am keenly aware that Heaven meets Earth in such a place as this. I long to spend eternity united in fellowship to these saints and friends of mine.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-- the Most High, who is my refuge-- no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." Psalm 91
My first trip to Zambia was a tangible expression of "the joy of the Lord" as true joy shined in the lives of defenseless orphans. Their lives continue to testify of the joy and strength that comes from knowing Christ, but the protection and provision of the Lord for His children was overwhelming to my eyes, my mind and my heart this year. Each morning we drove through impoverished streets on the way to school. As we entered the gates, hundreds of the most beautiful children greeted us, waving excitedly with bright eyes and eager smiles, each of them having just finished the long journey to school on foot through the same poor surroundings. Every morning my Zambian partner would check the fingernails, hair and teeth of her students and then remind them of general needs and upkeep. This struck me deeply as someone noticed the details of their lives with tender care, something we take for granted in our comfortable homes, but that orphaned and vulnerable children go without each day. She was in tune with their physical needs and tended to them. The school day is gloriously routine with scriptures, prayers, great progress in reading and with daily nutrition. Books and desks are a luxury and lunch/recess includes a continual wave of dust in your eyes and face, so unlike the schools in the US, but the joy of learning to read is no different from my kindergarten classroom in Texas. Kids are kids no matter the age, race, class or status. My students in Zambia had the same enthusiasm for the power and ownership of tackling words, sentences and meaning in books. Like so many of the American teachers serving, I struggled with how I could help the most during such a limited time. The Lord answered my prayers beyond what I could have imagined as we were matched with our Zambian teachers and classrooms so perfectly. The mission for this trip was a focus on a reading, my passion in the classroom. As these schools serve the most vulnerable children and the orphans of Zambia, the need is great, beyond my understanding, but I am truly grateful to be used in a very small way in the Lord's unfathomable work on behalf of His children and to see so clearly His loving care and protection for each of them.
One of the greatest joys of this trip was a reunion with my sweet Francis, our sponsored child. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to God for the incredible strides in his life since we first met. Having lived in the darkness and hopelessness of the streets in the compounds for much of his life, Francis is now overcoming that darkness with faith and hope and even goals to make a difference in the world. We had a number of meaningful conversations. Our final exchange and goodbye included me reminding him of our great God and His faithful provision and protection for him. Once again, after waiting 4 years for this treasured visit, the growth in his life, physically, intellectually and spiritually, is overwhelming. God's good work shines brightly in the midst of what seems impossible. While I am not comfortable or gifted in mission work (I go reluctantly in many ways), I am keenly aware that Heaven meets Earth in such a place as this. I long to spend eternity united in fellowship to these saints and friends of mine.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-- the Most High, who is my refuge-- no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." Psalm 91
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Ready, Set, GO
It's "go time". For the last four years, I've longed for the opportunity to return to the schools in Africa and to continue working with Zambian educators and students. I've also dreamed of taking one or all of my girls with me, but never believed it would be possible. Tomorrow morning, Katie and I travel to Lusaka, Zambia by way of Dubai where we will begin using our unique gifts in separate locations while both working with orphans. Now that it's time to go, so much anticipation has turned to into last minute stress and some heart ache about leaving Kyle, Caroline and Kelly. If you are inclined to pray for us, now is the time. Please pray for the obvious, health and safety, and also for fruitful ministry as we seek to serve precious children created in the image of God.
In preparation for this trip, we've been getting ready for months with various fundraising efforts: t-shirt sales and also gathering needed supplies. Family and friends from all seasons of life have made it possible for us to go. There really are no adequate words of gratitude for the generous and loving support we've received in all areas! We are ready and able thanks to so many of you.
Stress has been high in the recent weeks as we get everything set and organized for travel, including various shots and prescriptions. It is quite something for a Type A mother, with a checklist for each day to prepare for a mission trip with a laid back-go with the flow-no worries-daughter. Katie will be glad to get on a completely different shuttle when we arrive in Lusaka, Zambia on Saturday (7:30 in the morning Texas time). Of course, I will shower her with many last minute reminders as we go our separate ways. Again, if you are inclined to pray for us, now is the time!
With Katie's departure for college upon our return, ready, set, go seems to be the theme of the summer. There are six packed suitcases in the living room for Africa and there are dozens of stacks and piles for a college dorm in Katie's room. The checklists are detailed and long for both events. She will be stepping out on her own overseas as well as on a college campus. As we prepare for separate mission opportunities, we are also making sure she is ready for an independent life with all the needed supplies. I'm thankful it is not "go time" in that regard, yet. Whether it's short term missions or significant life/family changes, I'm reminded about the theme of this blog: the Lord is my shepherd. Those five words from scripture comfort my soul- day and night. Whether taking a walk or having a sleepless night, I rehearse these words over and over in my mind in the midst of fear and/or anxiety. God's goodness and grace is overwhelming to us and we give Him thanks for these opportunities. With Christ as our good shepherd, we can trust him to care for our needs as we follow him in the days, months and years ahead. May the Lord be glorified through our efforts in the next few weeks and may His love be showered upon our brothers and sisters across the globe.
In preparation for this trip, we've been getting ready for months with various fundraising efforts: t-shirt sales and also gathering needed supplies. Family and friends from all seasons of life have made it possible for us to go. There really are no adequate words of gratitude for the generous and loving support we've received in all areas! We are ready and able thanks to so many of you.
Stress has been high in the recent weeks as we get everything set and organized for travel, including various shots and prescriptions. It is quite something for a Type A mother, with a checklist for each day to prepare for a mission trip with a laid back-go with the flow-no worries-daughter. Katie will be glad to get on a completely different shuttle when we arrive in Lusaka, Zambia on Saturday (7:30 in the morning Texas time). Of course, I will shower her with many last minute reminders as we go our separate ways. Again, if you are inclined to pray for us, now is the time!
With Katie's departure for college upon our return, ready, set, go seems to be the theme of the summer. There are six packed suitcases in the living room for Africa and there are dozens of stacks and piles for a college dorm in Katie's room. The checklists are detailed and long for both events. She will be stepping out on her own overseas as well as on a college campus. As we prepare for separate mission opportunities, we are also making sure she is ready for an independent life with all the needed supplies. I'm thankful it is not "go time" in that regard, yet. Whether it's short term missions or significant life/family changes, I'm reminded about the theme of this blog: the Lord is my shepherd. Those five words from scripture comfort my soul- day and night. Whether taking a walk or having a sleepless night, I rehearse these words over and over in my mind in the midst of fear and/or anxiety. God's goodness and grace is overwhelming to us and we give Him thanks for these opportunities. With Christ as our good shepherd, we can trust him to care for our needs as we follow him in the days, months and years ahead. May the Lord be glorified through our efforts in the next few weeks and may His love be showered upon our brothers and sisters across the globe.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
New Things
They say, "You learn something new everyday." Well, this morning I've already learned several new things. As a Mom, working outside the home, I often miss the girls' activities. I've never been more aware of the sacrifices they make until now. I took the day off from teaching to watch a tennis tournament. With two girls on the tennis team at the high school, I've haven't attended a match in two years because they always play during the school day. While I can give you details of individual needs and learning styles for 20 five and six year olds, I don't know some of the sweetest details of our girls' lives. I learned few things about them this morning.
The day started listening to Kelly's piano practice before school. I had no idea she was learning to play "Amazing Grace" and perfecting the right hand part. I didn't know she was becoming fluent at the theme song to Disney's Pocahontas as I'm always gone when the girls roll out of bed. This morning was a treasure to me and it also provided a pleasant tune for humming (my habit) throughout day. Next, while watching a tough and hard fought tennis match, it struck me that I had no clue that Caroline was aggressive at the net or that she had a solid backhand swing. (Quite envious as the backhand was her mother's downfall on the court.) It's also news to me that she squats below the net as her partner serves, not wanting to be hit in the head. I'm so thankful for a brief window into the normal routine of their lives that I've been missing. Again, I'm especially conscious of how returning to the classroom, after over a decade of working at home, has impacted our family.
Just this week..... I've never been more aware that every day of life is a gift; we are not promised tomorrow! Today most certainly feels like a gift and one where I am thanking God for His amazing grace and His goodness in the life of our family. He showers our lives (our weaknesses and our parenting) with grace. He redeems, comforts, strengthens and provides abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. His steadfast love and faithfulness never ends.
The day started listening to Kelly's piano practice before school. I had no idea she was learning to play "Amazing Grace" and perfecting the right hand part. I didn't know she was becoming fluent at the theme song to Disney's Pocahontas as I'm always gone when the girls roll out of bed. This morning was a treasure to me and it also provided a pleasant tune for humming (my habit) throughout day. Next, while watching a tough and hard fought tennis match, it struck me that I had no clue that Caroline was aggressive at the net or that she had a solid backhand swing. (Quite envious as the backhand was her mother's downfall on the court.) It's also news to me that she squats below the net as her partner serves, not wanting to be hit in the head. I'm so thankful for a brief window into the normal routine of their lives that I've been missing. Again, I'm especially conscious of how returning to the classroom, after over a decade of working at home, has impacted our family.
Just this week..... I've never been more aware that every day of life is a gift; we are not promised tomorrow! Today most certainly feels like a gift and one where I am thanking God for His amazing grace and His goodness in the life of our family. He showers our lives (our weaknesses and our parenting) with grace. He redeems, comforts, strengthens and provides abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. His steadfast love and faithfulness never ends.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Footprints
After dozens and dozens of beach visits, too many to count, this time I was struck by the footprints in the sand. Obviously, I was a little distracted playing with the girls during the little years, but I've had enough return visits to have noticed these impressions. This year, we stayed just a short walk down the beach, going east or west, from two families who have profoundly impacted my life. (They've never met.) As I spent time with each of these dear friends, it felt like sacred time. God brought us together for a season-- and they each left significant footprints on me. I can honestly say, the impression they made is an eternal one.
As I spent lots of time thinking and praying this week, I considered one of the hardest things about being a pastor's wife during this season of life. The revolving door nature to ministry really gets to me. While we tend to be on the receiving end of families moving to new cities/churches, we've also been the ones who have left dear congregations. Either way, it's just hard. People come into a church body and they leave footprints in the life of its members. As a children's church and Sunday school teacher, I've invested in families who have made a lasting impression on me. When they leave, sometimes the footprints feel painful with gossip or slander (a stomping of sorts) and other times I watch them go with heartfelt tears and earnest prayers for where the Lord is taking them. Whether it's church life or a school/neighborhood community, we leave footprints in the lives of those we meet. Do we want to leave a bitter taste/impression, or do we want to leave an impression for lasting and eternal good? As I noticed the sand this week, the footprints were often traveling in one direction with a destination or goal in view and others were scattered and messy like so much of life. The most striking part was the constant, enormous tide washing over them all. It made me think of God's work in the lives of His people. Whether we are sure footed and confident in our journey of faith or not, His care and mercy never ends. It is overwhelming and constant. If you are my friend or family member, one of those who leaves a lasting impression on me, it is my prayer that you also taste and see that the Lord is good!
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