Tuesday, November 22, 2016

A New Chapter

Today marks a first for me as I'm anxiously awaiting my child returning home for the holidays.  Even now she is wrapping up classes and packing the car to travel for Thanksgiving.  It is such a surreal experience to think of her visiting just like grandparents, aunts and uncles have done over the years.  After so many tears, a roller coaster of emotions from senior year and the gut wrenching sadness  (practically removing a limb from my body as we dropped her off at college), we're adjusting to a season with our daughter becoming an adult with many new experiences for her and the rest of us.  There are perks as we find ourselves fitting into 4 tops at restaurants once again after almost 15 years at the big table.  Communication efforts have increased in delightful ways with phone calls, Facetime, Snap Chat and so on, considering we don't have the normal daily routine of her coming and going in our household with quick hellos and goodbyes.   Our entire house has a different feel without her calming, measured and strong personality.  It doesn't seem normal, just yet.  Family dynamics are changing and often unsettled.  You might say, I've been off my A-game this fall, to say the least.  I know we will find a new normal and then another one and then another one as the girls gradually move on to college in the next 3 + years, but for now, it feels like we're at the beginning of something big and something very good.   For 19 years, we planted seeds, we guided, we listened, we lectured, we yelled, we encouraged, we comforted, we fought, we counseled, we asked for forgiveness and we prayed.  There's something truly spectacular about seeing your child step out on her own and watching as she owns her faith and as she makes decisions that reflect years of upbringing, yet also seeing her independence and the opportunity for her to begin a life on her own, doing things her way, with the Lord's goodness guiding and sustaining her in the midst of various trials.  As I eagerly await the arrival of sweet Katie Belle and also her grandmother traveling ahead of her on the same Oklahoma highway,  I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving for the Lord's goodness to our family at the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.  His steadfast love never ends.  I'm in awe of His faithfulness as I begin to see my own child in a new light and watch her shine brightly in this world.  She was never mine to keep.  This becomes increasingly real as her time with us will be in spurts (visits) from this time forward.  For now, we will shower her with the goodness that comes with a first time being home for the holidays.  I hope your family also enjoys the comfort of being surrounded by family and friends at Thanksgiving.  I imagine many of you, like us, ache and long for those who have gone home to be with the Lord as you celebrate.  May the comfort and peace of Christ overwhelm your hearts during the holiday season.