During our Friday "date night", including a grocery run and a stop by the church office, Kyle noticed a change in my selection of music on Satellite radio. He made a comment about coming around to his way of thinking. As I rolled my eyes, I described how lately I've been drawn to music from my childhood. Kyle said something that rings very true right now, "Music is a hyperlink to memories."
On Saturday morning, I grabbed my hot pink iPod and went for a walk. As I was listening to Taylor Swift's "Fifteen", one of the lyrics really struck me. "Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now." With a house full of teen/preteen girls (including their friends) and with one daughter who is particularly similar to a younger version of myself, it seems I have the perfect opportunity to help my girls learn from my struggles, sparing them the difficult lessons and mistakes of life. I got to thinking about the pattern of my life and how I seem to learn everything the hard way. As a teen, I swallowed the foolishness of this world entirely, including popularity, status and love of self. In the twenties, a hot temper and self centered attitude made for colorful years as newlyweds. In the 30's, while raising babies and toddlers, I found myself conflicted by a mundane life at home and the seeming absence of mind stimulation. Even at the outset of my 40's, I'm learning the balance of work and home life and erring on the side of working too much. I wish there was a "Life for Dummies" for the spiritually immature like me. As a pastor's wife, I know that the scriptures contain everything we need for life and godliness. However, with a lack of spiritual maturity, I didn't see the Bible as food for my soul. For many years, I read the ten commandments, and thought to myself, "I've got this." Now, even a quick reading of the law convicts me of pride and self-centeredness and reminds me that I do not love the Lord or his people as I should.
Like any mother, I long to control and protect my girls from difficulty and learning things the hard way. In my unbelief, I think that my girls shouldn't have to go through the same struggles and suffering where God shapes and fashions them. However, by God's grace, Sunday morning worship brings refreshment to my soul and redirects my heart to God's work in our lives. The music before the sermon brought me to tears. "Speak, O Lord" is a regular selection in the service. However, this week the words seemed to jump off the page. "Teach us, Lord, full obedience, holy reverence, true humility; test our thoughts and our attitudes in the radiance of Your purity. Cause our faith to rise; cause our eyes to see Your majestic love and authority."
During the sermon, Kyle kept referring to the soundtrack of our lives being connected to a story, either in this present age or in the age to come. The soundtrack of the age to come includes a powerful refrain, "Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne and to the Lamb." While the text of the sermon was Revelation 7, he directed us to 2 Corinthians 4 as well. It is a beautiful picture of God's saving grace in my life and it reminds me to humbly and confidently pray for my girls. May the words of "Speak, O Lord" become the soundtrack of their lives. The Lord will surely prove himself faithful to them as he has always been to me.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ........ So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
