As I stare out over the 6th hole of Crested Butte's golf club with the stunning Butte just behind the green, I'm thankful for the Lord's gracious provision of mountain beauty surrounding us while experiencing deep sadness for the first time in months. The combination of paradise and pain is even more distinct than I imagined. No doubt, we are abundantly blessed to witness such spectacular sights while on vacation! The valley of CB is glorious as the wildflowers are at their peak and the snowcapped mountains are majestic and inspiring.
Obviously, we are overwhelmed with reminders of Dad. However, I'm struck with the randomness of triggers causing the tears to flow; it's not Dad's chair, his closet or climbing the Butte without him for the 2nd time in my life. Ordering a scoop of ice cream, finding his 4th of July stash and seeing a photo of him atop a raised firetruck ladder from the last 4th of July reminds me of his unusually fun loving and adventurous spirit. There is a definite lack of energy surrounding us as we hike, picnic, play games and enjoy lots of time as a family. As I dug through his box of hats and beads, missing him so very much, I longed for one more surprising moment with Dad with his zest for life on full display.
While reading Psalm 121 on the porch this morning, I remembered how this passage filled my thoughts during our time in ICU. I wasn't reading my Bible during those stressful days, but these words of scripture comforted my soul as I considered the possibility of losing Dad. Today, I lift my eyes, once again, to the "hills" and thank the Lord for his gracious comfort and steadfast love while overwhelmed with memories in a mountain paradise.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
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