The Selfie

Sometimes I feel a blog coming similar to a growing appetite for some kind of food.  Much of the time God is stretching me or lifting my eyes to Him as my only refuge and fortress in the storms of life.  Well, this post is different; it stems from a recent pet peeve.  When I mentioned the subject to Kyle, he said, "Be careful."  I will attempt to be "fair and balanced" like our favorite news show-- Special Report With Bret Baier. 

Raising (beautiful) teenagers in an internet saturated world overwhelms and stresses me.   While I'm active enough on Facebook and a stalker on Twitter, the social media choices are too much for this one track minded Mama.  Instagram, Vine and Snap Chat are other popular tools for our girls.  Thankfully, Kyle is all in with social media and keeps a close eye on their activity.   It seems negligent for parents to be "anti-social media" while their children are actively using such things.   But I digress....

In an effort to keep tabs on Instagram use, I have a weekly stalking time where I borrow one of the girls i-pods and scroll the feed for each of them.  This often results in much drama throughout our house.  Frankly, our girls hate this ritual and I do too!  The most debated topic in these weekly sessions includes "THE SELFIE" and "Selfie Sunday" really gets me going!  For those of you without teenagers, a "Selfie" is a photo taken of oneself and then posted on the internet for the world to see.  It is an all too common practice with our youth today.  My take on the Selfie is less than charitable:  Look at me world.  Look how beautiful I am.  If you like my picture, I will be encouraged.  If hundreds of you like my picture, I will even feel more valuable or worthwhile.  If you don't like my Selfie, then I will likely remove it with some sense of discouragement.  I'm being crass to make a point.  My girls have heard this lecture dozens of times, but the Selfies are alive and well in the Oliphint home and they are not forbidden.  Many of you smile knowingly as you are fellow Instagram users with my girls.

Having grown up without a computer or the internet, teenagers in my day were limited to the car visor and rear view mirror to inspect themselves.  We were left wondering what others thought without the constant "feedback" about our images.  I'm not saying we were any less self-consumed or immature, but we didn't have the internet to fuel our insecurity.  Sometimes it all seems too much for parents to get their minds around, especially considering how quickly things change and how clueless many of us feel in the social media world.  I'm convinced we need to keep up and be active, because it's here to stay in one form or another.

As a mother, hoping to raise strong, God fearing, modest and humble girls, how do I navigate and regulate internet use with wisdom and grace?  I have no idea.  The teenage years require mercy and patience beyond me.  However, daily I return to the Lord with my foolishness and pray for more grace and wisdom.  My greatest desire is for the girls to love and honor the Lord, but I'm all too aware they must see this in their mother first of all.  Ugh.... that's the rub.  It's easier for me to regulate and control than for me to constantly point them to the gospel where Christ continually pursues me in the midst of my insecurity and weakness.  May Christ's abundant mercy and steadfast love continue to transform our hearts.  "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."