Fences

My walk this morning was a surreal experience.  It's a beautiful, spring day (somewhat rare this year) with a perfect chill in the air.   As always, I walked while listening to music on the ipod.  Alan Jackson's "Remember When" filled my ears while my eyes took in a variety of touching scenes.  A young boy (maybe 9 or 10) walked past me in tears.  A little girl played outside in a Superman/Princess combination, topped off with a crown.  A young Mom held her baby's arms straight up while the PJ dressed little girl practiced taking steps.  Many Dads were mowing and edging and the fresh cut smell of grass filled the air.  One homeowner was carrying sections of rotten fence to the curb for bulk pick up this week.  I got to thinking of all the families, struggles and joys packed into the suburbs where people live behind 6 foot fences in large homes on small lots.  Upon arriving home, I wrote a $400+ check to a nice man who just replaced many rotted posts for our backyard fence.  Was it painful to write such a hefty check for wood poles?  Yes!  Was it worth every penny to maintain the privacy we enjoy and crave?  Absolutely, yes!  Within our fence, we workout marriage and parenting issues with a good measure of conflict.  Who wants the neighbors staring in while we disagree, even fight, with a spouse or teenager?  Plus, we are glad to keep the doberman out of our backyard, previously a rottweiler in the same yard.  What is it with big, scary dogs in Texas?!

This satisfying and reflecting walk comes after a week that felt like a train wreck in many ways.  You could describe me as an angry Tasmania Devil stirring up trouble in my path, nearly everywhere I went.  My words, actions and even thoughts hurt those closest to me, including my spouse and children.  While my husband was away on a "guys trip" with minister friends, I repeatedly asked him if he was sharing my garbage with his friends, not wanting him to lower the fence of privacy that I  maintained throughout the chaos of the week.   Even in the recent weeks, Kyle and I began meeting with one of the elders in our church to work through boundary issues for our teenagers.  We desire to maintain unity in parenting as we disagree on appropriate "fence lines" of protection for our girls. 

Obviously, as I write this, I'm giving others a peek over our wall of privacy, with Kyle's blessing.  I've been reminded this week of my need for a Savior and I have renewed gratitude for Christ's mercy to me as a miserable sinner, without hope except for his sovereign grace.  In his death on the cross, the curtain of the temple (or dividing line) was torn in two giving access to God himself through his perfect sacrifice for unrighteous people like me.

"For Christ died for sins once and for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." 1Peter 3:18