Two years seems an insignificant amount of time, a blip on the span of a lifetime, but in others ways it is quite noteworthy. We are approaching the two year anniversary of losing Dad, which seems like yesterday! At the same time, we are increasingly mindful of sending our oldest off to college (or to work) in two more years. Yesterday, I visited with a church member who recently lost her mother. We discussed the unusual and unexpected triggers that come with profound grief. Having two years of perspective, I mentioned that the loss remains the same, but the raw pain of it decreases with gracious time. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about Dad's absence and how our family has changed pretty significantly in the past two years. When he died, he had 1 grandchild in elementary, 4 in middle school and 1 in high school. There were no licensed drivers. College appeared to be in the distant future with haunting and forbidding tuition costs. Two years later, 5 out of 6 grandchildren are in high school and only 1 is left in glorious middle school. Half of the grandkids are driving CARS, one is filling out college applications and another is touring campuses to figure out where she wants to apply. Tuition costs are becoming a reality as both families consider having TWO in college (at the same time) for several years.
I've noticed (and it's amusing to me) that you get the strongest opinions and advice during the first two years of parenting and the last two years (the pre-college years). Every mother with a two year old knows how quickly the time goes and the significant milestones from newborn to age 2: smiling, rolling, sitting, eating, playing, walking and talking. The last two years at home come with equally life-changing (while not as cute!) opportunities: driving, independence, paychecks, bank accounts and peers experimenting with sex and alcohol. The contrast in these seasons is obvious, but the heart of the mother is the same. While touring colleges this weekend, we enjoyed comparing campuses and towns with Katie and hearing about her interests and preferences. I am genuinely excited about the possibilities in her future, similar to the excitement I felt when she took her first steps or her first bite of food. However, that intense desire to keep her safe from sharp corners, choking hazards and stairs is still there as I consider her safety behind the wheel of a car and on a college campus. My favorite thing at Oklahoma State University is the blinking, blue light throughout campus for college students to call the police for help. Oh, I love this feature more than any academic program! As I consider sending my daughters off, knowing independence from home is the next step for them, it is comforting to me that we are never truly independent. The beauty and nature of faith is that we are completely dependent on almighty God for the air we breath, the steps we take and new mercies every day. Thankfully, the Lord has plans for our girls and I can rest in his sovereign care as we seek to be faithful.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13
Monday, July 21, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Sweet Summertime
Sweet, sweet summertime!!! Summer months are deliciously refreshing and rejuvenating---- a season where I am not ruled by a to-do list. Don't get me wrong..... I'm a huge fan of living with assorted lists. Every day I have 2 to 3 things noted that I would like to accomplish before sunset. Even my classroom (with pages of lesson plans) couldn't function without that 3x8 piece of paper beside the computer listing the top details and priorities for the day. Yet, as we enter the second half of summer, I'm struck that a packing list and a grocery list are the only things hanging over my head. Even my summer goals are complete with time to make new ones.
Sadly, we've passed the mid-point for summer days. I am so thankful for an abundance of time with my girls and extra time inside of my house! Perhaps the biggest downside to working outside the home is the lack of hours invested on the home front. I really do miss it. As the days pass too quickly, it hits me that what makes summer days so sweet are the things that never end up on my list during the school year. ~Plenty of rest. ~The presence of friends and family with nothing pressing or pulling you away. ~Time for reflection ~Down time spent praising and thanking the Lord ~Quality time my girls (also hours by the television) ~Purposeful service and hospitality ~etc.
The Lord is growing in me a desire to prioritize the important things in life and to stop living by the urgent tasks of the day. Who knows where this journey will take me, but with just two more years until Katie graduates, I'm all too aware that my time is well spent on important things! We've entered a season of parenting in the big leagues and I feel more like a farm team parent. Summer subjects have included topics facing our teens (our girls)--- alcohol, sex and online bullying. May the Lord give me wisdom to parent these lovely girls well!! For the remaining summer days, I plan to enjoy every sweet moment with them.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Looks Can Be Deceiving
This week I took a summer hiatus while attending a workshop on literacy in a kindergarten classroom. It was such an encouraging three days with time to reflect on current practices and to be inspired by new ideas, ways to simplify, modify and improve my classroom. Once again, I'm struck by the weighty role of the teacher and how this privilege is not to be taken lightly. We influence hundreds of children daily and this is no small responsibility. By the end of the year, teachers are weary and overwhelmed. Summer professional development provides needed focus and renewed motivation. But I digress from the reason for this blog post.......
Typically summer days include lots of mother/daughter time which is quite rare during the school year. This week the girls have been on their own with meals, use of time and various activities. Yesterday, I arrived home to see Katie baking a homemade bundt cake. She took her little sister to the grocery store, bought lunch for both of them and then the ingredients to make a delicious dessert. While I wouldn't know how to make a cake unless I followed directions on the side of a box, Katie searched for ideas on the internet and then spent hours in the kitchen. After nearly 3 hours of hard work, she emptied the finished product from the bundt pan onto a cookie sheet only to have it fall into a messy chocolate mound, similar to the mud pies I made as a child. As she was frustrated and disappointed, she posted this result on the internet. Two things hit me: this non-baking mother was so proud of her daughter's creation, her creative drive and motivation to learn to bake on her own and her humility-- as she posted something REAL (a seeming failure) online. I was beaming with pride as I watched my child try and "fail" at something of interest to her. But, was it really a failure? Looks can be deceiving!!! It sure didn't taste like a disaster while licking the chocolatey goodness off of my fingers during teacher training today.
So much of what fills my social media feed includes perfect vacation photos (chief offender here!!!!), lovely homecooked breakfasts/dinners and beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones. If I'm being completely honest, nothing discourages me more than seeing a perfect "spread" of food cooked by another mother when it's not even a holiday. My immediate thoughts are: "I hope my family is fine with having cheetos and beef sticks for dinner and then rotten milk in their cereal." While this exaggeration is only partly true, it does capture my heart and how I often feel like a failure on the home front in the area of baking and providing home cooked meals for Kyle and the girls. I'm admitting this as I assume others also make assumptions and comparisons based on images posted. While the Oliphints are a happy family, sharing hundreds of photos, others would never know that before nearly every picture is taken, disaster ensues. "Please leave your sister alone. Just smile." "Not now, Mom!" "I promise it's just a few photos......" Then, wala- bam, beautiful smiles and the seemingly delighted family is captured and shared for loved ones to see. Again, looks are deceiving!
Recently, I caught up with a friend, who moved away, while she was home for a visit. She asked about our year. When I mentioned it was a difficult year, she said, "I had no idea! You're always so positive with everything you post." Of course, I mentioned that I don't want to share my garbage on the internet. People have enough discouraging things to fill their days without reading another person's trash or trouble. However, it made me think: Why am I so quick to post all that is good and beautiful in my life (trips, lovely children, fun outings/dates) and to remain so quiet about my challenges and/or "failures"? Am I causing another mother discouragement with my delightful travel photos similar to my envy of the perfect homemaker with home cooked breakfast images? It's just a thought.
Don't get me wrong. I love social media..... I love taking and posting photos and I love seeing the adventures and joys of my far away friends, while using this online tool. But, the look of something is not the reality! Just last Sunday, Kyle preached at a neighborhood retirement home. The room was filled with men and women in their 90's. Most used walkers or wheel chairs and many lacked the cosmetic look of those of us in younger decades. Yet, these souls in their twilight years (including a retired baptist preacher and a retired seminary professor) belted out the hymns by memory and they shouted "amen" with great faith and wisdom. They don't know the world of social media, have probably never sent a text or even an email in some cases. Their struggles did not include too much time on the internet or posting a version of life that seems too good to be true. They looked old, even weak and tired, but many of them are strong pillars of the faith, saints who have gone before us with lives of suffering and service. Over eighty years ago, they were sweet five year olds entering kindergarten classrooms much different from today, but they had teachers who loved children and who also desired to grow in their profession. These seniors offered me inspiration on a week filled with reflection and encouragement.
Typically summer days include lots of mother/daughter time which is quite rare during the school year. This week the girls have been on their own with meals, use of time and various activities. Yesterday, I arrived home to see Katie baking a homemade bundt cake. She took her little sister to the grocery store, bought lunch for both of them and then the ingredients to make a delicious dessert. While I wouldn't know how to make a cake unless I followed directions on the side of a box, Katie searched for ideas on the internet and then spent hours in the kitchen. After nearly 3 hours of hard work, she emptied the finished product from the bundt pan onto a cookie sheet only to have it fall into a messy chocolate mound, similar to the mud pies I made as a child. As she was frustrated and disappointed, she posted this result on the internet. Two things hit me: this non-baking mother was so proud of her daughter's creation, her creative drive and motivation to learn to bake on her own and her humility-- as she posted something REAL (a seeming failure) online. I was beaming with pride as I watched my child try and "fail" at something of interest to her. But, was it really a failure? Looks can be deceiving!!! It sure didn't taste like a disaster while licking the chocolatey goodness off of my fingers during teacher training today.
So much of what fills my social media feed includes perfect vacation photos (chief offender here!!!!), lovely homecooked breakfasts/dinners and beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones. If I'm being completely honest, nothing discourages me more than seeing a perfect "spread" of food cooked by another mother when it's not even a holiday. My immediate thoughts are: "I hope my family is fine with having cheetos and beef sticks for dinner and then rotten milk in their cereal." While this exaggeration is only partly true, it does capture my heart and how I often feel like a failure on the home front in the area of baking and providing home cooked meals for Kyle and the girls. I'm admitting this as I assume others also make assumptions and comparisons based on images posted. While the Oliphints are a happy family, sharing hundreds of photos, others would never know that before nearly every picture is taken, disaster ensues. "Please leave your sister alone. Just smile." "Not now, Mom!" "I promise it's just a few photos......" Then, wala- bam, beautiful smiles and the seemingly delighted family is captured and shared for loved ones to see. Again, looks are deceiving!
Recently, I caught up with a friend, who moved away, while she was home for a visit. She asked about our year. When I mentioned it was a difficult year, she said, "I had no idea! You're always so positive with everything you post." Of course, I mentioned that I don't want to share my garbage on the internet. People have enough discouraging things to fill their days without reading another person's trash or trouble. However, it made me think: Why am I so quick to post all that is good and beautiful in my life (trips, lovely children, fun outings/dates) and to remain so quiet about my challenges and/or "failures"? Am I causing another mother discouragement with my delightful travel photos similar to my envy of the perfect homemaker with home cooked breakfast images? It's just a thought.
Don't get me wrong. I love social media..... I love taking and posting photos and I love seeing the adventures and joys of my far away friends, while using this online tool. But, the look of something is not the reality! Just last Sunday, Kyle preached at a neighborhood retirement home. The room was filled with men and women in their 90's. Most used walkers or wheel chairs and many lacked the cosmetic look of those of us in younger decades. Yet, these souls in their twilight years (including a retired baptist preacher and a retired seminary professor) belted out the hymns by memory and they shouted "amen" with great faith and wisdom. They don't know the world of social media, have probably never sent a text or even an email in some cases. Their struggles did not include too much time on the internet or posting a version of life that seems too good to be true. They looked old, even weak and tired, but many of them are strong pillars of the faith, saints who have gone before us with lives of suffering and service. Over eighty years ago, they were sweet five year olds entering kindergarten classrooms much different from today, but they had teachers who loved children and who also desired to grow in their profession. These seniors offered me inspiration on a week filled with reflection and encouragement.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
"Have a Shadow?"
We're home in TEXAS! Oh, the marvelous sunsets.... oh, the dreadful heat!! We haven't even reached scorching summer temperatures with repeated days close to 110 degrees. Yet, this week, even this morning on a typical walk, I found myself seeking shade from the baking sun. Just 20 seconds of shadow under miniature, neigborhood trees provided relief. Also, on a pool visit with Kelly and friends, I had to find a shaded spot or their fun would have come to an unwelcome end after 30 minutes. While I'm not the most fun Mom, even I know that would be torture for such sweet girls. So, I found the perfect tree and relaxed with a good book by the pool, often distracted by thoughts of our time on a Greek island. Throughout the week, reflections of Santorini filled my mind. It was a most refreshing time away. Gratitude overwhelmed us as we regretfully threw away trip documents. Information about the island- sights, dining and travel tips were no longer needed. All of that anticipation and preparation--- DONE! We are left with a lifetime of memories and photo images to rehearse in our minds. Even the customary Shutterfly photo book is finished and on its way to our home.
This morning, while seeking bits of shade on my walk, I recalled one of my favorite moments in Santorini and it made me smile. On our very first morning, while overlooking the Aegean Sea and after enjoying a generous Greek breakfast , I rested on a lounge chair with my book. The 70 degree temperature was ideal and the sun gently warmed my pasty white skin. I thought to myself, "This is perfection!" Just moments later, a Greek gentleman on the hotel staff popped by and kindly suggested, "Have a shadow?" He wanted to put up the large umbrella to offer comfort and protection from the sun. I declined his offer and thanked him happily. Now this luxurious service is not something I'm acquainted with and I found it quite amusing and refreshing. While the sun rays on a Texas summer day make you want to die, there was no need for refuge on that beautiful morning.
Now, as we return to familiar routines at home, including much activity and the increasing Texas heat, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to the Lord for his steadfast love and his goodness to us. He graciously provided a restful and romantic time together. Psalm 36 captures some of my thoughts after a week surrounded by the beauty of His creation. With much praise, my soul finds peace and refuge from the worries of this life in the shadow of almighty God.
"Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God: your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD. How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life...."
This morning, while seeking bits of shade on my walk, I recalled one of my favorite moments in Santorini and it made me smile. On our very first morning, while overlooking the Aegean Sea and after enjoying a generous Greek breakfast , I rested on a lounge chair with my book. The 70 degree temperature was ideal and the sun gently warmed my pasty white skin. I thought to myself, "This is perfection!" Just moments later, a Greek gentleman on the hotel staff popped by and kindly suggested, "Have a shadow?" He wanted to put up the large umbrella to offer comfort and protection from the sun. I declined his offer and thanked him happily. Now this luxurious service is not something I'm acquainted with and I found it quite amusing and refreshing. While the sun rays on a Texas summer day make you want to die, there was no need for refuge on that beautiful morning.
Now, as we return to familiar routines at home, including much activity and the increasing Texas heat, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to the Lord for his steadfast love and his goodness to us. He graciously provided a restful and romantic time together. Psalm 36 captures some of my thoughts after a week surrounded by the beauty of His creation. With much praise, my soul finds peace and refuge from the worries of this life in the shadow of almighty God.
"Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God: your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD. How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life...."
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Peaceful Paradise
On our final day in Santorini, Greece, a peaceful paradise, I'm thankful for God's sustaining grace during 20 years of marriage. We've spent the past 6 days enjoying the still blue waters of the Aegean Sea. In all of life, I've never experienced such calm and quiet surroundings, yet the origin of this circular island is from volcanic explosion. God created this beauty through violent eruption. One of the highlights of our trip was a sunset sail with several American couples. There were 2 sets of newlyweds on their honeymoon, one couple recently engaged in Santorini and another celebrating a significant birthday. During this evening of combined festivity, one of the men commented that many couples don't last 20 years. As our evening progressed, the winds increased and the sea became quite rough. One of the women became seasick and another bemoaned the waves crashing over us. Quietly, I was delighted by it all. Having no experience with sailing, I found the uneven water to be a thrill. This outing seemed more symbolic of marriage than the typically tranquil and placid waters surrounding the island. In the past 2 decades, God shaped and formed a beautiful, peaceful marriage for us, through rough waters and his most gracious blessings. As we prepare to return home, to the real world, I'm struck by the overwhelming peace I feel in this place. As a kindergarten teacher and a mother of teen girls, calm moments are a treasure in life, so each day I'm especially thankful for the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding. Through His suffering and sacrifice, I have peace with God. I am certain when I meet the Lord face to face one day, it will be in the midst of the most peaceful paradise. I'm thankful for glimpses of eternity this week as we celebrate his goodness to us.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Anticipation
On the eve of kindergarten graduation and seeing the hopeful end of an overwhelming (literal) end of the year checklist, I'm struck by the contrast of experience regarding anticipation. As some of you know, this year has been a tough year professionally. While I've grown as a teacher, I've also witnessed student progress in unprecedented ways. During challenging weeks in the classroom, I spent countless hours in the evening planning our 20th wedding anniversary trip. Anniversary planning has provided much joy and encouragement throughout the school year.
With just under 2 days of school remaining, while packing a classroom and our luggage at the same time, the joy of travel preparation is gone. A common cold makes me sound like a smoker with an increasingly irritating cough. School and family details keep me focused and stressed. I've never planned a trip overseas, so I have a long list of worries that keep me anxious, not to mention I have concerns about our girls going to camp in our absence. Anticipation feels more painful than encouraging, just days before our glorious, long anticipated vacation.
Still, if my worst fears are realized, with eventful travels including missed connections or missing luggage, the expectation of the past seven months has provided nothing but encouragement. The trip is a success before we even leave the city simply because of the joy of anticipation.
In the midst of a fallen world with challenges and hardship as a guarantee, anticipation of paradise with the Lord provides hope and encouragement to my weary soul. While earthly pleasures, including desirable travel destinations, may prove to be stressful and possibly unsatisfying, I have no doubt eternity in the presence of almighty God will be overwhelming and nothing but perfection. My hope and prayer continues to be that Christ lifts my eyes to Him, His kingdom and to my heavenly destination in profoundly practical ways that bring joy during difficult seasons of life. His faithfulness continues to astound me as I reflect on this school year and his abundant goodness to me and to the precious students he brought into my life.
With just under 2 days of school remaining, while packing a classroom and our luggage at the same time, the joy of travel preparation is gone. A common cold makes me sound like a smoker with an increasingly irritating cough. School and family details keep me focused and stressed. I've never planned a trip overseas, so I have a long list of worries that keep me anxious, not to mention I have concerns about our girls going to camp in our absence. Anticipation feels more painful than encouraging, just days before our glorious, long anticipated vacation.
Still, if my worst fears are realized, with eventful travels including missed connections or missing luggage, the expectation of the past seven months has provided nothing but encouragement. The trip is a success before we even leave the city simply because of the joy of anticipation.
In the midst of a fallen world with challenges and hardship as a guarantee, anticipation of paradise with the Lord provides hope and encouragement to my weary soul. While earthly pleasures, including desirable travel destinations, may prove to be stressful and possibly unsatisfying, I have no doubt eternity in the presence of almighty God will be overwhelming and nothing but perfection. My hope and prayer continues to be that Christ lifts my eyes to Him, His kingdom and to my heavenly destination in profoundly practical ways that bring joy during difficult seasons of life. His faithfulness continues to astound me as I reflect on this school year and his abundant goodness to me and to the precious students he brought into my life.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Sunshine and Clouds
Monday of this week started with dark clouds and intense storms. In order to keep our students safe during thunderstorms, a 10 minute bus dismissal turned into a two hour wait/process. The lightning just wouldn't quit!! Our week ended with a glorious Friday morning sunrise. While I'm not a morning person in the least, school days provide an opportunity to watch the sun rise on my drive to work and this encourages my soul greatly. Now there are only 13 more sunrise opportunities until SUMMER, at which time I will sleep through this uplifting morning ritual until school resumes.
While reciting one of our daily (and weather related) poems in the classroom this week, we discussed how our attitudes can bring sunshine and joy into the lives of our friends-- chasing the dark clouds away. You know the people, like Olaf's snow cloud in the movie Frozen, who seem to walk around with storm clouds over them, greeting everyone with a negative or critical perspective. After interacting with them, you feel the gloom and doom of their presence. Then, you meet others who greet you with a smile, an encouraging word and who bring sunshine into your day, even those who face serious challenges in life, yet shower others with deference and grace. Some of us, without knowing it, walk around with faces that wear the weight of the world, even with unknowing looks of disgust. Often my daughters ask why I am angry or upset, due to the expression on my face, when in reality I feel rather content and joyful. Knowing this tendency and how it may be interpreted, I'm making an effort to greet others with a purposeful smile and I'm becoming more convicted that my negative words and attitude leave nothing but darkness in the lives of others.
As many of you know, I'm particularly taken with the sky, morning, noon and night. Just this week, I paused multiple times on my way home from school in awe of the vast beauty and wide open expanse above the horizon. While the central states have limited access to beaches and mountains, we enjoy daily masterpieces from the hands of God. The immense sky indicating threatening weather, even tornadoes, is equally impressive, yet brings stressful and uneasy emotion. A bright blue sky filled with sunshine and beautifully shaped clouds, like the one I enjoyed this week, overwhelms me with peace and contentment. May the spirit of Christ enable us, struggling sinners surrounded by the darkness of this world, to share the light, grace, mercy and kindness of our Lord with others, most especially and first to those in our own homes.
"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace."
While reciting one of our daily (and weather related) poems in the classroom this week, we discussed how our attitudes can bring sunshine and joy into the lives of our friends-- chasing the dark clouds away. You know the people, like Olaf's snow cloud in the movie Frozen, who seem to walk around with storm clouds over them, greeting everyone with a negative or critical perspective. After interacting with them, you feel the gloom and doom of their presence. Then, you meet others who greet you with a smile, an encouraging word and who bring sunshine into your day, even those who face serious challenges in life, yet shower others with deference and grace. Some of us, without knowing it, walk around with faces that wear the weight of the world, even with unknowing looks of disgust. Often my daughters ask why I am angry or upset, due to the expression on my face, when in reality I feel rather content and joyful. Knowing this tendency and how it may be interpreted, I'm making an effort to greet others with a purposeful smile and I'm becoming more convicted that my negative words and attitude leave nothing but darkness in the lives of others.
As many of you know, I'm particularly taken with the sky, morning, noon and night. Just this week, I paused multiple times on my way home from school in awe of the vast beauty and wide open expanse above the horizon. While the central states have limited access to beaches and mountains, we enjoy daily masterpieces from the hands of God. The immense sky indicating threatening weather, even tornadoes, is equally impressive, yet brings stressful and uneasy emotion. A bright blue sky filled with sunshine and beautifully shaped clouds, like the one I enjoyed this week, overwhelms me with peace and contentment. May the spirit of Christ enable us, struggling sinners surrounded by the darkness of this world, to share the light, grace, mercy and kindness of our Lord with others, most especially and first to those in our own homes.
"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace."
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