Two years seems an insignificant amount of time, a blip on the span of a lifetime, but in others ways it is quite noteworthy. We are approaching the two year anniversary of losing Dad, which seems like yesterday! At the same time, we are increasingly mindful of sending our oldest off to college (or to work) in two more years. Yesterday, I visited with a church member who recently lost her mother. We discussed the unusual and unexpected triggers that come with profound grief. Having two years of perspective, I mentioned that the loss remains the same, but the raw pain of it decreases with gracious time. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about Dad's absence and how our family has changed pretty significantly in the past two years. When he died, he had 1 grandchild in elementary, 4 in middle school and 1 in high school. There were no licensed drivers. College appeared to be in the distant future with haunting and forbidding tuition costs. Two years later, 5 out of 6 grandchildren are in high school and only 1 is left in glorious middle school. Half of the grandkids are driving CARS, one is filling out college applications and another is touring campuses to figure out where she wants to apply. Tuition costs are becoming a reality as both families consider having TWO in college (at the same time) for several years.
I've noticed (and it's amusing to me) that you get the strongest opinions and advice during the first two years of parenting and the last two years (the pre-college years). Every mother with a two year old knows how quickly the time goes and the significant milestones from newborn to age 2: smiling, rolling, sitting, eating, playing, walking and talking. The last two years at home come with equally life-changing (while not as cute!) opportunities: driving, independence, paychecks, bank accounts and peers experimenting with sex and alcohol. The contrast in these seasons is obvious, but the heart of the mother is the same. While touring colleges this weekend, we enjoyed comparing campuses and towns with Katie and hearing about her interests and preferences. I am genuinely excited about the possibilities in her future, similar to the excitement I felt when she took her first steps or her first bite of food. However, that intense desire to keep her safe from sharp corners, choking hazards and stairs is still there as I consider her safety behind the wheel of a car and on a college campus. My favorite thing at Oklahoma State University is the blinking, blue light throughout campus for college students to call the police for help. Oh, I love this feature more than any academic program! As I consider sending my daughters off, knowing independence from home is the next step for them, it is comforting to me that we are never truly independent. The beauty and nature of faith is that we are completely dependent on almighty God for the air we breath, the steps we take and new mercies every day. Thankfully, the Lord has plans for our girls and I can rest in his sovereign care as we seek to be faithful.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13
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