Looks Can Be Deceiving

This week I took a summer hiatus while attending a workshop on literacy in a kindergarten classroom.  It was such an encouraging three days with time to reflect on current practices and to be inspired by new ideas, ways to simplify, modify and improve my classroom.  Once again, I'm struck by the weighty role of the teacher and how this privilege is not to be taken lightly.  We influence hundreds of children daily and this is no small responsibility.  By the end of the year, teachers are weary and overwhelmed.   Summer professional development provides needed focus and renewed motivation.   But I digress from the reason for this blog post.......

Typically summer days include lots of mother/daughter time which is quite rare during the school year.  This week the girls have been on their own with meals, use of time and various activities.  Yesterday, I arrived home to see Katie baking a homemade bundt cake.  She took her little sister to the grocery store, bought lunch for both of them and then the ingredients to make a delicious dessert.  While I wouldn't know how to make a cake unless I followed directions on the side of a box, Katie searched for ideas on the internet and then spent hours in the kitchen.  After nearly 3 hours of hard work, she emptied the finished product from the bundt pan onto a cookie sheet only to have it fall into a messy chocolate mound, similar to the mud pies I made as a child.  As she was frustrated and disappointed, she posted this result on the internet.  Two things hit me:  this non-baking mother was so proud of her daughter's creation, her creative drive and motivation to learn to bake on her own and her humility-- as she posted something REAL (a seeming failure) online.   I was beaming with pride as I watched my child try and "fail" at something of interest to her.  But, was it really a failure?  Looks can be deceiving!!!  It sure didn't taste like a disaster while licking the chocolatey goodness off of my fingers during teacher training today. 

So much of what fills my social media feed includes perfect vacation photos (chief offender here!!!!), lovely homecooked breakfasts/dinners and beautiful smiling faces of my loved ones.  If I'm being completely honest, nothing discourages me more than seeing a perfect "spread" of food cooked by another mother when it's not even a holiday.  My immediate thoughts are: "I hope my family is fine with having cheetos and beef sticks for dinner and then rotten milk in their cereal."  While this exaggeration is only partly true, it does capture my heart and how I often feel like a failure on the home front in the area of baking and providing home cooked meals for Kyle and the girls.  I'm admitting this as I assume others also make assumptions and comparisons based on images posted.  While the Oliphints are a happy family, sharing hundreds of photos, others would never know that before nearly every picture is taken, disaster ensues.  "Please leave your sister alone.  Just smile."  "Not now, Mom!"  "I promise it's just a few photos......"  Then, wala- bam, beautiful smiles and the seemingly delighted family is captured and shared for loved ones to see.   Again, looks are deceiving!

Recently, I caught up with a friend, who moved away, while she was home for a visit.  She asked about our year.  When I mentioned it was a difficult year, she said, "I had no idea!  You're always so positive with everything you post."  Of course, I mentioned that I don't want to share my garbage on the internet.  People have enough discouraging things to fill their days without reading another person's trash or trouble.  However, it made me think: Why am I so quick to post all that is good and beautiful in my life (trips, lovely children, fun outings/dates) and to remain so quiet about my challenges and/or "failures"?  Am I causing another mother discouragement with my delightful travel photos similar to my envy of  the perfect homemaker with home cooked breakfast images?  It's just a thought. 

Don't get me wrong.  I love social media..... I love taking and posting photos and I love seeing the adventures and joys of my far away friends, while using this online tool.  But, the look of something is not the reality!  Just last Sunday, Kyle preached at a neighborhood retirement home.  The room was filled with men and women in their 90's.  Most used walkers or wheel chairs and many lacked the cosmetic look of those of us in younger decades.   Yet, these souls in their twilight years (including a retired baptist preacher and a retired seminary professor) belted out the hymns by memory and they shouted "amen" with great faith and wisdom.   They don't know the world of social media, have probably never sent a text or even an email in some cases.  Their struggles did not include too much time on the internet or posting a version of life that seems too good to be true.  They looked old, even weak and tired, but many of them are strong pillars of the faith, saints who have gone before us with lives of suffering and service.  Over eighty years ago, they were sweet five year olds entering kindergarten classrooms much different from today, but they had teachers who loved children and who also desired to grow in their profession.   These seniors offered me inspiration on a week filled with reflection and encouragement.