It's been a very Merry Christmas for the Oliphint family. Last year seemed haunted with a tremendous void in the family and the absence of Dad in our lives. While we enjoy a lull in the Christmas Day festivities, I want to capture Christmas Eve while I can recall the details making it an almost sacred day. It was filled with reminders of Dad and his obvious presence in our lives. Throughout the holiday, peace overwhelmed us and his memory brought comfort instead of pain.
We awoke on Christmas Eve morning to the smell of wassail and I was reminded of the annual tradition of stuffing cloves into oranges with my brother. I don't think I ever tasted the goodness of the beverage containing ingredients unfit for a young girl, but a first glance at three clove-filled-oranges stuffed by my daughter brought me back to my childhood. Also that morning, I enjoyed listening to the same daughter on the piano as sunlight streamed through the window and a portrait of my Dad was prominently displayed before my eyes. Just through the window, the ice covered trees sparkled like diamonds as the sun was shining on them. Locals faced the threat of branches falling on their houses, cars and power lines, but I was simply awestruck by the beauty of this glorious, almost magical, sight. Within a few hours, my brother and 16 of my Dad's friends arrived for lunch wearing ragged clothes and scruffy facial hair having spent the morning at bus stations and homeless shelters passing out envelopes filled with cash and labeled, "Merry Christmas from Carl". They continued a tradition started by my Dad and honored him with their presence in Mom's home and stories from a frigid morning spent with those suffering in our midst. Once again, as I spent time with some of Dad's friends, even a man who visited the hospital on the day of my birth, I felt Dad's presence among us.
Christmas Eve ended with a chili dinner and worship at the midnight service. We attended the church where my brother's family are members and where my Dad attended youth group as a teenager. I was struck by the history of the church, including generations of family membership. It was the perfect ending to a day full of joy and peace with all of our loved ones gathered to celebrate the Incarnation of our Lord. As we closed the service with traditional hymns, I was caught off guard by a repeating lyric in "Joy to the World". Grateful tears streamed down my face as we sang, "and heaven and earth rejoice" over and over. This was yet another powerful connection with Dad; he's rejoicing with us in the presence of our Lord and Savior. While singing Silent Night, we filed into the foyer to hear the Hallelujah Chorus. I pictured Dad singing along and beaming with pride as his granddaughter and grandsons were in such a spectacular choir. Yet, I also imagined him knowing the full reality of this magnificent work.
While the title of the blog is weird, to say the least, it really has felt like a very merry Christmas from Carl. One can only hope to leave this world and be remembered by loved ones in such profoundly tangible ways. The overwhelming feeling last year was of a gaping hole, but this year I felt his presence in our midst and this was a tremendous blessing. I hope your family's holiday was full of joy and peace and the richest blessings from Christ our Lord.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Resting or Restless
In North Texas, we are on day three of an ice event keeping families at home. The roads are thick ice and the skies are completely white with no sign of melting in the immediate future. The wind chill makes it feel like 23 degrees, so only the tough among us are enjoying the outdoors while sledding, slipping and sliding on every imaginable surface, including the grass. For some of us, time is spent watching movies, baking, playing games and reading (etc.), but for others of us (including my family members in Dallas), it means freezing and complete boredom while on day 3 of no power. To put it simply, we are STUCK at home due to God's providence of paralyzing weather.
For me, this is a picture of so much of our lives. Every day we face the protective care of God and circumstances out of our control. It seems we have only two choices while dealing with a difficult providence. We can rest in Him or we can be restless. As I start to feel cabin fever, restlessness increases, but at the same time I'm also grateful for (and mindful of) a time of forced refreshment where there is nothing I can do to change the weather forecast. This posture, or shall I say tension, relates to multiple daily challenges where I battle a tendency to be anxious rather than trusting in the tender hand and almighty power of God. So often, His is work in my life is through circumstances out of my control where I wrestle and then learn to abide in Him more fully.
"The Lord in my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake."
Psalm 23
"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11: 28-30
For me, this is a picture of so much of our lives. Every day we face the protective care of God and circumstances out of our control. It seems we have only two choices while dealing with a difficult providence. We can rest in Him or we can be restless. As I start to feel cabin fever, restlessness increases, but at the same time I'm also grateful for (and mindful of) a time of forced refreshment where there is nothing I can do to change the weather forecast. This posture, or shall I say tension, relates to multiple daily challenges where I battle a tendency to be anxious rather than trusting in the tender hand and almighty power of God. So often, His is work in my life is through circumstances out of my control where I wrestle and then learn to abide in Him more fully.
"The Lord in my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake."
Psalm 23
"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11: 28-30
Saturday, November 23, 2013
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
It's that time again!!! The bells are ringing outside of shopping malls and grocery stores. The 2013 Holiday TV Guide is sitting on the coffee table. We are planning our first viewing of our favorite Christmas movie- Elf. Online shopping lists are growing and orders are being placed. The neighborhood is beginning to shine with Christmas lights, a particular treat with the sun setting before 6:00 p.m. The Christmas cards are here and ready for addresses of loved ones near and far. Christmas music fills our ears and tugs at our hearts as we reflect on another year full of challenges and blessings.
Every year, as I begin to address the cards, I'm reminded of God's rich blessing in the people He brings into our lives. Surprisingly, we've sent a Christmas card every year for the past 19 years without missing a season. Last year, I wasn't in a particularly merry mood and decided to skip a year. Kyle insisted on sending a card, even offering to order and address them himself, so our record remains unbroken. I truly love sending and receiving cards and have a long standing tradition of filling our refrigerator with the photos of dear families who have shaped and blessed our lives. However, as I stare at the beautiful, smiling faces in these pictures, I'm also aware that there is struggle, sadness and sacrifice taking place in the homes of these dear friends. Marriage and parenting stretches many of us daily. Grief, insecurity and loneliness are familiar experiences to others of us and the holiday season can be a painful reminder of great loss in our lives. In the recent days, I have smiled through tears while watching my Dad twirl and dance with Caroline on a recent Thanksgiving video. We've enjoyed seeing Kyle's Mom in many of these holiday videos with her continually sweet, loving and gentle presence. As I get ready to send our 19th picture perfect family photo with "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" prominently displayed across the bottom, I'm struck with the comical, even sad, truth that this is not true for many who send and receive cards just after the Thanksgiving holiday.
Also after Thanksgiving, we will begin singing Christmas hymns during worship and we will continue reading the Gospels containing the story of the incarnation. We will be reminded of the hope, joy, and peace that comes only from our Lord. We will also be reminded, in this season filled with cultural tradition and festivity, that God's abundant mercy, His great faithfulness and His steadfast love remains our only hope in life and in death. With just a few days before our first holiday celebration, King David's song of thanksgiving especially encourages my soul during this most wonderful time of the year.
"Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him; sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice! Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!.......
Sing to the LORD, all the earth! Tell of his salvation from day to day. Decalre his glory amonth the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and he is to be held in awe above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his place. Ascribe to the LORD, O clans of the peoples, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength! Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; bring an offering before him! Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness; tremble before him, all the earth; yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved. Let the heavens be glad and let the earth rejoice, and let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!" Let the sea roar, and all that fills it; let the field exult, and everything in it! Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth. O give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!" from 1 Chronicles 16
Every year, as I begin to address the cards, I'm reminded of God's rich blessing in the people He brings into our lives. Surprisingly, we've sent a Christmas card every year for the past 19 years without missing a season. Last year, I wasn't in a particularly merry mood and decided to skip a year. Kyle insisted on sending a card, even offering to order and address them himself, so our record remains unbroken. I truly love sending and receiving cards and have a long standing tradition of filling our refrigerator with the photos of dear families who have shaped and blessed our lives. However, as I stare at the beautiful, smiling faces in these pictures, I'm also aware that there is struggle, sadness and sacrifice taking place in the homes of these dear friends. Marriage and parenting stretches many of us daily. Grief, insecurity and loneliness are familiar experiences to others of us and the holiday season can be a painful reminder of great loss in our lives. In the recent days, I have smiled through tears while watching my Dad twirl and dance with Caroline on a recent Thanksgiving video. We've enjoyed seeing Kyle's Mom in many of these holiday videos with her continually sweet, loving and gentle presence. As I get ready to send our 19th picture perfect family photo with "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" prominently displayed across the bottom, I'm struck with the comical, even sad, truth that this is not true for many who send and receive cards just after the Thanksgiving holiday.
Also after Thanksgiving, we will begin singing Christmas hymns during worship and we will continue reading the Gospels containing the story of the incarnation. We will be reminded of the hope, joy, and peace that comes only from our Lord. We will also be reminded, in this season filled with cultural tradition and festivity, that God's abundant mercy, His great faithfulness and His steadfast love remains our only hope in life and in death. With just a few days before our first holiday celebration, King David's song of thanksgiving especially encourages my soul during this most wonderful time of the year.
"Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him; sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice! Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!.......
Sing to the LORD, all the earth! Tell of his salvation from day to day. Decalre his glory amonth the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and he is to be held in awe above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his place. Ascribe to the LORD, O clans of the peoples, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength! Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; bring an offering before him! Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness; tremble before him, all the earth; yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved. Let the heavens be glad and let the earth rejoice, and let them say among the nations, "The LORD reigns!" Let the sea roar, and all that fills it; let the field exult, and everything in it! Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth. O give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!" from 1 Chronicles 16
Saturday, November 16, 2013
A Pilgrim's Anticipation
We've entered a season of anticipation for the Thanksgiving and
Christmas holidays. I love every bit of Thanksgiving, including the
smells and tastes of the food, the focus on gratitude and some time to
rest and enjoy the finer things in life..... family, food, and sadly,
much football. Go Commodores! However, upon return from the
break, we will have a unit on the Grinch to kick off the winter holiday
season. This is fitting as my attitude and anticipation of Christmas
resembles the Grinch, considering the commercialization
involved in celebrating the incarnation of our Lord. Even Santa makes
me grumpy as he represents all that is greedy and indulgent in our culture. But I
digress.....
This week in kindergarten we covered the pilgrims' voyage to the new world, including their desire for religious freedom, the conditions of the ship (with just over 100 passengers for 66 days) and the storms and struggles during the journey. We simulated the dimensions of the Mayflower in the hallway and collected all 120 kindergarteners and 6 teachers to discuss living in close quarters for longer than our current days in school. We brought traveling "trunks" to class with just a handful of important items to help on the journey to America. In a five year old friendly way, we made it real and personal without making it too dark for them. They learned that half of the passengers died during that first harsh winter and that the trip across the ocean was very difficult. We wrote about what we would think or say if we were on the boat. Some of the responses included: "It is cold."..... "I feel sick.".... and "I do not like this ship. It is stinky and scary."
While the school days have included considering the pilgrims' anticipation of a new world and their endurance on the challenging journey, my early mornings have been spent reading through family lines in 1 Chronicles and our evenings have included hours and hours of family home videos recently converted from VHS. The footage shows all of my grandparents, my mother-in-law, father-in-law and my Dad. All of them have all left this world and entered eternity with our Lord. The Bible readings of genealogies have been a tough slog, but our own family genealogy has been a passion of mine in previous decades. I created history books for each of our girls. With over a century of stories and individuals included in them, only my Mom is still living. The video clips of my heritage, including lots of Thanksgiving and Christmas memories, have reminded me that we are all pilgrims in this world. Granted, I'm a very spoiled and blessed pilgrim with no understanding the physical hardship of those traveling on the Mayflower, but I struggle each day with sin and spiritual attacks on my faith and I live in anticipation of a new world and my citizenship in heaven.
As I've read (and felt bogged down) in Kings and Chronicles, I've also been encouraged while reading through Hebrews.
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible."..........
"These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." excerpts from Hebrews 11
For over a year, Kyle has been preaching through Revelation on Sunday mornings. We've covered dark and intense assaults on the people of God as pilgrims in this land. Teaching children's church has been a challenge to say the least. Tomorrow morning, we have the blessing of hearing a sermon from Revelation 22 where we will consider the end of the story and this new city of God. As a fellow pilgrim, I anticipate the new heaven and the new earth and joining loved ones who have gone before me in worship around the throne of God.
"The angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city....... No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever."
This week in kindergarten we covered the pilgrims' voyage to the new world, including their desire for religious freedom, the conditions of the ship (with just over 100 passengers for 66 days) and the storms and struggles during the journey. We simulated the dimensions of the Mayflower in the hallway and collected all 120 kindergarteners and 6 teachers to discuss living in close quarters for longer than our current days in school. We brought traveling "trunks" to class with just a handful of important items to help on the journey to America. In a five year old friendly way, we made it real and personal without making it too dark for them. They learned that half of the passengers died during that first harsh winter and that the trip across the ocean was very difficult. We wrote about what we would think or say if we were on the boat. Some of the responses included: "It is cold."..... "I feel sick.".... and "I do not like this ship. It is stinky and scary."
While the school days have included considering the pilgrims' anticipation of a new world and their endurance on the challenging journey, my early mornings have been spent reading through family lines in 1 Chronicles and our evenings have included hours and hours of family home videos recently converted from VHS. The footage shows all of my grandparents, my mother-in-law, father-in-law and my Dad. All of them have all left this world and entered eternity with our Lord. The Bible readings of genealogies have been a tough slog, but our own family genealogy has been a passion of mine in previous decades. I created history books for each of our girls. With over a century of stories and individuals included in them, only my Mom is still living. The video clips of my heritage, including lots of Thanksgiving and Christmas memories, have reminded me that we are all pilgrims in this world. Granted, I'm a very spoiled and blessed pilgrim with no understanding the physical hardship of those traveling on the Mayflower, but I struggle each day with sin and spiritual attacks on my faith and I live in anticipation of a new world and my citizenship in heaven.
As I've read (and felt bogged down) in Kings and Chronicles, I've also been encouraged while reading through Hebrews.
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible."..........
"These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." excerpts from Hebrews 11
For over a year, Kyle has been preaching through Revelation on Sunday mornings. We've covered dark and intense assaults on the people of God as pilgrims in this land. Teaching children's church has been a challenge to say the least. Tomorrow morning, we have the blessing of hearing a sermon from Revelation 22 where we will consider the end of the story and this new city of God. As a fellow pilgrim, I anticipate the new heaven and the new earth and joining loved ones who have gone before me in worship around the throne of God.
"The angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city....... No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him. They will see his face and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever."
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The Dance
After a typically full day in the classroom, while driving home from school, one of my all time favorite songs played on the radio. Garth Brooks song, "The Dance", kicked me out of a tired post-work daze and took me back to my wedding day almost 19 years ago. Ouch!!! Dad and I danced to this song during our wedding reception. For nearly a year, music has been the most painful trigger, but the recent months have not included the daily flood of sad memories while driving to and from school. This unexpected, and now rare, moment got me to thinking about life and how it is somewhat like a "dance".
During this season of raising teenagers and teaching kindergarten, my dance moves are definitely ungraceful and anything but lovely. Weekly, even daily, I feel out of shape and uncoordinated, as if stepping on everyones' toes. I go to bed with regret and a long list of "should haves" and I wake each morning with humble and dependent prayers to the Lord. After dancing through the baby-toddler- stay-at home-Mom years with ballroom technique precision (still not graceful), I'm confronted with the teen-working-mom-years and becoming acquainted with my clumsy and frequently stumbling posture.
Thankfully, by God's gracious provision and His faithfulness, I'm learning to dance more gracefully during this season of parenting and teaching. My childhood years included hours and hours of training in ballet classes and the girls and I have enjoyed season tickets to Texas Ballet Theater over the last decade, so I'm aware that the delicate and seemingly effortless choreography of the ballet comes with most rigorous (and even painful) training.
As the piano beautifully closes Garth Brook's song (my favorite part), the lyrics include, "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have to miss the dance." This rings true for me and reminds me of the glorious gifts from God surrounding me each day. It is ironic how the role of mother and teacher includes helping others to learn and grow, yet most days I'm the one growing, learning and being shaped the most. By His tender hand and by the power of His Spirit, may He produce the fruit of the spirit in my life so that I may "dance" in the midst of life and among others with ever growing grace and mercy.
During this season of raising teenagers and teaching kindergarten, my dance moves are definitely ungraceful and anything but lovely. Weekly, even daily, I feel out of shape and uncoordinated, as if stepping on everyones' toes. I go to bed with regret and a long list of "should haves" and I wake each morning with humble and dependent prayers to the Lord. After dancing through the baby-toddler- stay-at home-Mom years with ballroom technique precision (still not graceful), I'm confronted with the teen-working-mom-years and becoming acquainted with my clumsy and frequently stumbling posture.
Thankfully, by God's gracious provision and His faithfulness, I'm learning to dance more gracefully during this season of parenting and teaching. My childhood years included hours and hours of training in ballet classes and the girls and I have enjoyed season tickets to Texas Ballet Theater over the last decade, so I'm aware that the delicate and seemingly effortless choreography of the ballet comes with most rigorous (and even painful) training.
As the piano beautifully closes Garth Brook's song (my favorite part), the lyrics include, "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have to miss the dance." This rings true for me and reminds me of the glorious gifts from God surrounding me each day. It is ironic how the role of mother and teacher includes helping others to learn and grow, yet most days I'm the one growing, learning and being shaped the most. By His tender hand and by the power of His Spirit, may He produce the fruit of the spirit in my life so that I may "dance" in the midst of life and among others with ever growing grace and mercy.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Forty-three and Feeling It
This week began with a lot of fuss surrounding my 43rd birthday. Mom visited to start the celebration with shopping and several delicious meals, both delightful luxuries for me. Students and families showered me with gifts, cards, flowers, food and other delightful treats and encouraged me by their abundant loving kindness. Having kicked off the birthday week on a high, it ended on a bummer low (literally), flat on my back. For the first time, ever, I fell out of bed (yes, I did). The result felt a bit like I was in a car accident.
Typically, Thursday evening feels like the night before the last college final with all the intensity of the week and the anticipation of Friday and a restful weekend ahead. With two working parents and three active daughters, sometimes our family gatherings happen at the most unusual times and places. This event occurred in the dark in our bedroom with Mom, Dad and girls gathered on the bed. I was sitting on the bed and decided to lay down on my side. Little did I know how close I was to the edge as I fell 2+ feet to the floor and landed with "old lady moans and groans". The family exploded with laughter as I assessed the damage. A fall at age 43 lands between the flexible/bouncy body of a 5 year old and the life threatened body of an 80 year old. With many prior bulging discs, including some flattening of the spinal cord, this was no small event!
In addition to bodily injury, just this week, I've had multiple reminders of the joy of aging while entering the mid-forties. I can't seem to get the hang of my bi-focals, so I tend to only wear them while driving. Teacher friends have assisted me during faculty meetings with important details on the white board and corrected me as I wrongly identified the names of children across the hall from me. During a recent Sunday worship service, the order of worship led me to design the perfect music for my memorial service. You know you're getting old when the combination of hymns reminds you of your mortality and the glorious reality of entering eternity with the Lord. On a lighter note, while birthday shopping in the Apple store, the sales person compared me to his grandmother as he encouraged my teen daughters to be patient with me as I learn the features of my new phone. Sometimes I wonder if the combination of raising teenagers and teaching kindergarten will keep me young or if it will speed up the process of increasingly gray hair. It certainly keeps me humble and in constant prayer for wisdom and strength!
Obviously, this update covers much silly news from the events of the week. On a serious note, the forties also bring increased gratitude for long standing friendships and the many forms of communication which enable birthday greetings from all over the country. For over 4 decades, God has used incredible friends and family to shape and form my life and to increase my love for him, his glory and his people. Along with all of the physical reminders, I'm increasingly aware of my need for dependance upon the Lord for spiritual strength and wisdom.
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from who every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he many grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-- that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19
Typically, Thursday evening feels like the night before the last college final with all the intensity of the week and the anticipation of Friday and a restful weekend ahead. With two working parents and three active daughters, sometimes our family gatherings happen at the most unusual times and places. This event occurred in the dark in our bedroom with Mom, Dad and girls gathered on the bed. I was sitting on the bed and decided to lay down on my side. Little did I know how close I was to the edge as I fell 2+ feet to the floor and landed with "old lady moans and groans". The family exploded with laughter as I assessed the damage. A fall at age 43 lands between the flexible/bouncy body of a 5 year old and the life threatened body of an 80 year old. With many prior bulging discs, including some flattening of the spinal cord, this was no small event!
In addition to bodily injury, just this week, I've had multiple reminders of the joy of aging while entering the mid-forties. I can't seem to get the hang of my bi-focals, so I tend to only wear them while driving. Teacher friends have assisted me during faculty meetings with important details on the white board and corrected me as I wrongly identified the names of children across the hall from me. During a recent Sunday worship service, the order of worship led me to design the perfect music for my memorial service. You know you're getting old when the combination of hymns reminds you of your mortality and the glorious reality of entering eternity with the Lord. On a lighter note, while birthday shopping in the Apple store, the sales person compared me to his grandmother as he encouraged my teen daughters to be patient with me as I learn the features of my new phone. Sometimes I wonder if the combination of raising teenagers and teaching kindergarten will keep me young or if it will speed up the process of increasingly gray hair. It certainly keeps me humble and in constant prayer for wisdom and strength!
Obviously, this update covers much silly news from the events of the week. On a serious note, the forties also bring increased gratitude for long standing friendships and the many forms of communication which enable birthday greetings from all over the country. For over 4 decades, God has used incredible friends and family to shape and form my life and to increase my love for him, his glory and his people. Along with all of the physical reminders, I'm increasingly aware of my need for dependance upon the Lord for spiritual strength and wisdom.
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from who every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he many grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-- that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Providence and Perseverance
Exactly 20 years ago, I graduated from Vanderbilt with a bachelors degree in elementary education. Peabody College is known for its quality education program and produces teachers who are well trained, eager and who have big visions for their classrooms. This describes me as I started my first day in an inner city classroom located in Jacksonville, Florida surrounded by some of the roughest projects in the area. One of my coworkers was held at gun point IN the classroom on a work day, just down the hall from me.
On the first day of school, I awoke a nervous and excited mess with ideal images of a classroom filled with beautiful 7 and 8 year old children. Shockingly, early on the first day, one of my students took money off of my desk and proceeded to give me the finger while standing on his desk. I still think of this boy (who became precious to me) and often wonder what life is like for him at 27 years of age. However, I remember my second morning before school (at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and an unfinished bowl of cereal) just like it was yesterday. The orange juice did not stay down due to nerves and the cereal was discarded before taking the 25 minute drive across the river to the other side of town. I kept thinking THIS is not what I signed up for.... THIS is not why I went into education.... and I just can't do THIS! I grumbled and complained at God's providence as if he had made a mistake, as if he didn't know what was best for me and as if he wasn't sufficient to help me persevere in a role he called me to and lovingly provided for me.
Recently, I've had moments of grumbling against God's provision for me similar to that second morning of my first job. I've had some of the exact same thoughts..... THIS is not what I want! I've thought back on that surprisingly wonderful year in the inner city of Jacksonville and remembered the Lord's gracious provision for each day. Years later, there were "fish stories" from that principal about this "little girl" who managed a challenging classroom in the early 90's. Coworkers shared these annoying stories with me (as they rolled their eyes) long after I moved to Philadelphia and started teaching in a private Christian school.
As some of you know, nearly all of my blog posts (and this one will be no different) make some mention of my father and his influence in my life. With his birthday approaching, this seems particularly fitting. While living on my own in Jacksonville, paying bills for the first time without any familiar relationships (& still not acquainted with Kyle), Dad was one of the people who encouraged me to endure, to dig deep and to finish what I started-- difficulty and all. Of course, he was great with the idea of welcoming me back to Oklahoma after that year- considering I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville, let alone the state of Florida. His life was characterized by determination and perseverance. As his daughter, I was challenged to no less than this fine example. Now, I find myself, once again, discontent with God's providence in my life. The strength of my earthly father combined with the overwhelming grace, presence and almighty strength of my heavenly father encourages me to press on once again and to give thanks in all circumstances!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
On the first day of school, I awoke a nervous and excited mess with ideal images of a classroom filled with beautiful 7 and 8 year old children. Shockingly, early on the first day, one of my students took money off of my desk and proceeded to give me the finger while standing on his desk. I still think of this boy (who became precious to me) and often wonder what life is like for him at 27 years of age. However, I remember my second morning before school (at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and an unfinished bowl of cereal) just like it was yesterday. The orange juice did not stay down due to nerves and the cereal was discarded before taking the 25 minute drive across the river to the other side of town. I kept thinking THIS is not what I signed up for.... THIS is not why I went into education.... and I just can't do THIS! I grumbled and complained at God's providence as if he had made a mistake, as if he didn't know what was best for me and as if he wasn't sufficient to help me persevere in a role he called me to and lovingly provided for me.
Recently, I've had moments of grumbling against God's provision for me similar to that second morning of my first job. I've had some of the exact same thoughts..... THIS is not what I want! I've thought back on that surprisingly wonderful year in the inner city of Jacksonville and remembered the Lord's gracious provision for each day. Years later, there were "fish stories" from that principal about this "little girl" who managed a challenging classroom in the early 90's. Coworkers shared these annoying stories with me (as they rolled their eyes) long after I moved to Philadelphia and started teaching in a private Christian school.
As some of you know, nearly all of my blog posts (and this one will be no different) make some mention of my father and his influence in my life. With his birthday approaching, this seems particularly fitting. While living on my own in Jacksonville, paying bills for the first time without any familiar relationships (& still not acquainted with Kyle), Dad was one of the people who encouraged me to endure, to dig deep and to finish what I started-- difficulty and all. Of course, he was great with the idea of welcoming me back to Oklahoma after that year- considering I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville, let alone the state of Florida. His life was characterized by determination and perseverance. As his daughter, I was challenged to no less than this fine example. Now, I find myself, once again, discontent with God's providence in my life. The strength of my earthly father combined with the overwhelming grace, presence and almighty strength of my heavenly father encourages me to press on once again and to give thanks in all circumstances!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
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