This week began with a lot of fuss surrounding my 43rd birthday. Mom visited to start the celebration with shopping and several delicious meals, both delightful luxuries for me. Students and families showered me with gifts, cards, flowers, food and other delightful treats and encouraged me by their abundant loving kindness. Having kicked off the birthday week on a high, it ended on a bummer low (literally), flat on my back. For the first time, ever, I fell out of bed (yes, I did). The result felt a bit like I was in a car accident.
Typically, Thursday evening feels like the night before the last college final with all the intensity of the week and the anticipation of Friday and a restful weekend ahead. With two working parents and three active daughters, sometimes our family gatherings happen at the most unusual times and places. This event occurred in the dark in our bedroom with Mom, Dad and girls gathered on the bed. I was sitting on the bed and decided to lay down on my side. Little did I know how close I was to the edge as I fell 2+ feet to the floor and landed with "old lady moans and groans". The family exploded with laughter as I assessed the damage. A fall at age 43 lands between the flexible/bouncy body of a 5 year old and the life threatened body of an 80 year old. With many prior bulging discs, including some flattening of the spinal cord, this was no small event!
In addition to bodily injury, just this week, I've had multiple reminders of the joy of aging while entering the mid-forties. I can't seem to get the hang of my bi-focals, so I tend to only wear them while driving. Teacher friends have assisted me during faculty meetings with important details on the white board and corrected me as I wrongly identified the names of children across the hall from me. During a recent Sunday worship service, the order of worship led me to design the perfect music for my memorial service. You know you're getting old when the combination of hymns reminds you of your mortality and the glorious reality of entering eternity with the Lord. On a lighter note, while birthday shopping in the Apple store, the sales person compared me to his grandmother as he encouraged my teen daughters to be patient with me as I learn the features of my new phone. Sometimes I wonder if the combination of raising teenagers and teaching kindergarten will keep me young or if it will speed up the process of increasingly gray hair. It certainly keeps me humble and in constant prayer for wisdom and strength!
Obviously, this update covers much silly news from the events of the week. On a serious note, the forties also bring increased gratitude for long standing friendships and the many forms of communication which enable birthday greetings from all over the country. For over 4 decades, God has used incredible friends and family to shape and form my life and to increase my love for him, his glory and his people. Along with all of the physical reminders, I'm increasingly aware of my need for dependance upon the Lord for spiritual strength and wisdom.
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from who every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he many grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-- that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:14-19
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Providence and Perseverance
Exactly 20 years ago, I graduated from Vanderbilt with a bachelors degree in elementary education. Peabody College is known for its quality education program and produces teachers who are well trained, eager and who have big visions for their classrooms. This describes me as I started my first day in an inner city classroom located in Jacksonville, Florida surrounded by some of the roughest projects in the area. One of my coworkers was held at gun point IN the classroom on a work day, just down the hall from me.
On the first day of school, I awoke a nervous and excited mess with ideal images of a classroom filled with beautiful 7 and 8 year old children. Shockingly, early on the first day, one of my students took money off of my desk and proceeded to give me the finger while standing on his desk. I still think of this boy (who became precious to me) and often wonder what life is like for him at 27 years of age. However, I remember my second morning before school (at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and an unfinished bowl of cereal) just like it was yesterday. The orange juice did not stay down due to nerves and the cereal was discarded before taking the 25 minute drive across the river to the other side of town. I kept thinking THIS is not what I signed up for.... THIS is not why I went into education.... and I just can't do THIS! I grumbled and complained at God's providence as if he had made a mistake, as if he didn't know what was best for me and as if he wasn't sufficient to help me persevere in a role he called me to and lovingly provided for me.
Recently, I've had moments of grumbling against God's provision for me similar to that second morning of my first job. I've had some of the exact same thoughts..... THIS is not what I want! I've thought back on that surprisingly wonderful year in the inner city of Jacksonville and remembered the Lord's gracious provision for each day. Years later, there were "fish stories" from that principal about this "little girl" who managed a challenging classroom in the early 90's. Coworkers shared these annoying stories with me (as they rolled their eyes) long after I moved to Philadelphia and started teaching in a private Christian school.
As some of you know, nearly all of my blog posts (and this one will be no different) make some mention of my father and his influence in my life. With his birthday approaching, this seems particularly fitting. While living on my own in Jacksonville, paying bills for the first time without any familiar relationships (& still not acquainted with Kyle), Dad was one of the people who encouraged me to endure, to dig deep and to finish what I started-- difficulty and all. Of course, he was great with the idea of welcoming me back to Oklahoma after that year- considering I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville, let alone the state of Florida. His life was characterized by determination and perseverance. As his daughter, I was challenged to no less than this fine example. Now, I find myself, once again, discontent with God's providence in my life. The strength of my earthly father combined with the overwhelming grace, presence and almighty strength of my heavenly father encourages me to press on once again and to give thanks in all circumstances!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
On the first day of school, I awoke a nervous and excited mess with ideal images of a classroom filled with beautiful 7 and 8 year old children. Shockingly, early on the first day, one of my students took money off of my desk and proceeded to give me the finger while standing on his desk. I still think of this boy (who became precious to me) and often wonder what life is like for him at 27 years of age. However, I remember my second morning before school (at the breakfast table with a glass of orange juice and an unfinished bowl of cereal) just like it was yesterday. The orange juice did not stay down due to nerves and the cereal was discarded before taking the 25 minute drive across the river to the other side of town. I kept thinking THIS is not what I signed up for.... THIS is not why I went into education.... and I just can't do THIS! I grumbled and complained at God's providence as if he had made a mistake, as if he didn't know what was best for me and as if he wasn't sufficient to help me persevere in a role he called me to and lovingly provided for me.
Recently, I've had moments of grumbling against God's provision for me similar to that second morning of my first job. I've had some of the exact same thoughts..... THIS is not what I want! I've thought back on that surprisingly wonderful year in the inner city of Jacksonville and remembered the Lord's gracious provision for each day. Years later, there were "fish stories" from that principal about this "little girl" who managed a challenging classroom in the early 90's. Coworkers shared these annoying stories with me (as they rolled their eyes) long after I moved to Philadelphia and started teaching in a private Christian school.
As some of you know, nearly all of my blog posts (and this one will be no different) make some mention of my father and his influence in my life. With his birthday approaching, this seems particularly fitting. While living on my own in Jacksonville, paying bills for the first time without any familiar relationships (& still not acquainted with Kyle), Dad was one of the people who encouraged me to endure, to dig deep and to finish what I started-- difficulty and all. Of course, he was great with the idea of welcoming me back to Oklahoma after that year- considering I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville, let alone the state of Florida. His life was characterized by determination and perseverance. As his daughter, I was challenged to no less than this fine example. Now, I find myself, once again, discontent with God's providence in my life. The strength of my earthly father combined with the overwhelming grace, presence and almighty strength of my heavenly father encourages me to press on once again and to give thanks in all circumstances!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Saturday, August 24, 2013
One Year in Paradise
One year ago, August 25, 2012, my father left his earthly body and entered the glories of heaven with our Lord. After eleven days of enormous shock, pain, sadness and tragic bodily injury, with circumstances and surroundings too dark to write about, I remember a great sense of anticipation in the moments leading up to his last breath. There was a surreal realization of what was awaiting him and the certain hope he had at the end of life on Earth. I'm not speaking for the family, just me, but I felt a great peace and celebratory joy in the immediate moments after his passing. Dad knew only mercy, comfort and goodness in the arms of his Heavenly Father. This "high" was a blessing as I began the difficult journey of grieving him. Many of you have followed this process in previous blog posts. As we complete "the last first", the anniversary of his death, I have that same sense of peace and joy just like the moments after he left this world. The anniversary of his accident, much like the initial experience, came with bitter thoughts and emotions, but the anniversary of his passing reminds me of the glorious reality that Dad has spent a year praising Almighty God with the angels. THIS is a great comfort to his daughter as I miss him even more today than when we lost him. So, now I lift my eyes to the heavens and join Dad with thanksgiving and praise to God!
"An when this flesh and heart shall fail, and mortal life shall cease; I shall possess within the veil a life of joy and peace. When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we've first begun."
vs 4 & 5 of Amazing Grace (one of Dad's favorite hymns)
"An when this flesh and heart shall fail, and mortal life shall cease; I shall possess within the veil a life of joy and peace. When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we've first begun."
vs 4 & 5 of Amazing Grace (one of Dad's favorite hymns)
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Meet the (oh, so grateful) Teacher
I woke up this morning with a feeling similar to childhood Christmas morning. It's Thursday of "teacher work week". So, why the excitement as the day begins? This evening we have Meet the Teacher, a very common event throughout the country during the month of August, but it is one of those "duties" where everything I love about my job is on full display! (Last year, I missed this while I spent time with Dad in Grand Junction's ICU as reports from doctors became painfully grim.) With much joy, this evening I have the opportunity to meet precious children who I will teach as they begin their school journey. Tonight begins a relationship with the families where the goal is to work together to help their children grow in so many ways. I am very grateful for this brief window (of one year) to invest in the lives of such incredible children. The year goes by so quickly, yet, it gives us a rare blessing to encourage, instruct, nurture and rejoice with precious new friends. As I meet these new friends of mine, with their shy and nervous smiles, I consider myself honored and privileged to be their teacher this year!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Back to School-- Eager Anticipation and Overwhelming Dread
It's that time again. Teachers and families are in back-to-school mode all over the country. School supplies and clothing fill our shopping carts, paperwork deadlines (now online) fill our time and thoughts of eager anticipation fill our minds as we get ready for another school year. The Oliphint girls are excited about entering 10th, 8th and 6th grade. Of course, I am delighted about welcoming another precious group of children who are starting kindergarten. It's an eventful and thrilling time of year. Everything is bright, new, crisp and clean as we pack our school bags and as I organize my classroom. I couldn't be more enthusiastic while jumping back into familiar tasks and routines. However, there is another overwhelming feeling that nags at the same time. This week marks the anniversary of my Dad's horse riding accident, followed by the anniversary of his death (and returning to work at that time).
You would think after completing a year of "firsts" that we would be ready for this, but in many ways, I feel stuck, not knowing how to grieve. There is not a manual or "grief for dummies" that prepares you for the unexpected emotions and experiences. I've been surprised by the process every step of the way. One thing that keeps hitting me is that there is just no fancy way to describe the loss of your closest loved ones. It's just plain sad. It catches you off guard with frequent, unwanted tears, a heavy burning in the chest and with a continual lump in your throat.
In so many ways, it seems our family should celebrate having survived and completed this year with so much purpose, hope and renewed faith. It brings honor to Dad that all of his grandkids have grieved deeply while also applying themselves to various endeavors with passion, intense focus and accomplishment. Mom honors him each day as she grieves with strength and grace and a focus on enjoying life and serving others. Still, as we approach the next few weeks of anniversaries I don't feel like celebrating. It just feels painful, a feeling that has become all too familiar to our family over the last 12 months. We did not grieve him over a period of years with a gradual decline in his health. He was snatched from us at his peak-- physically, professionally and socially. While visiting with Mom recently, I mentioned that I thought I would be further along in the process after a year (not expecting the same from her). Surprisingly, some of the hardest moments have been in the recent weeks and months.
This time of anniversaries marks one of the hardest, yet most wonderful years of life. On the home front, we grieved the loss of Dad while we entered "unfamiliar teen territory". This combination drove me to my knees in dependent & humble prayer. In the classroom, I savored the joyful days with a most exceptional group of students. Now, I have such mixed emotions as we anticipate another school year together. My first desire is to honor my Heavenly Father at home, work and play, but I also want to honor Dad and his memory as we mark a year without him in our lives. His legacy lives on in our family. He modeled a life of joyful service, hard work, passion and love for others. I have daily reminders of Dad's strong influence in our lives and I continually thank the Lord this blessing to our family.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24
You would think after completing a year of "firsts" that we would be ready for this, but in many ways, I feel stuck, not knowing how to grieve. There is not a manual or "grief for dummies" that prepares you for the unexpected emotions and experiences. I've been surprised by the process every step of the way. One thing that keeps hitting me is that there is just no fancy way to describe the loss of your closest loved ones. It's just plain sad. It catches you off guard with frequent, unwanted tears, a heavy burning in the chest and with a continual lump in your throat.
In so many ways, it seems our family should celebrate having survived and completed this year with so much purpose, hope and renewed faith. It brings honor to Dad that all of his grandkids have grieved deeply while also applying themselves to various endeavors with passion, intense focus and accomplishment. Mom honors him each day as she grieves with strength and grace and a focus on enjoying life and serving others. Still, as we approach the next few weeks of anniversaries I don't feel like celebrating. It just feels painful, a feeling that has become all too familiar to our family over the last 12 months. We did not grieve him over a period of years with a gradual decline in his health. He was snatched from us at his peak-- physically, professionally and socially. While visiting with Mom recently, I mentioned that I thought I would be further along in the process after a year (not expecting the same from her). Surprisingly, some of the hardest moments have been in the recent weeks and months.
This time of anniversaries marks one of the hardest, yet most wonderful years of life. On the home front, we grieved the loss of Dad while we entered "unfamiliar teen territory". This combination drove me to my knees in dependent & humble prayer. In the classroom, I savored the joyful days with a most exceptional group of students. Now, I have such mixed emotions as we anticipate another school year together. My first desire is to honor my Heavenly Father at home, work and play, but I also want to honor Dad and his memory as we mark a year without him in our lives. His legacy lives on in our family. He modeled a life of joyful service, hard work, passion and love for others. I have daily reminders of Dad's strong influence in our lives and I continually thank the Lord this blessing to our family.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24
Monday, July 22, 2013
Sweet Summertime-- Shades of Blue and Green
The dog days of summer bring extra time for writing, yet less interest in gathering my thoughts. It's as if my mind is turning to mush as I enjoy an abundance of time with my girls with little to no schedule ruling our lives. Oddly, the theme of our quiet and lazy days, besides PJ's and sweet frozen beverages, includes shades of blue and green. One of my favorite things upon return from vacation is the GREAT BIG TEXAS sky meeting the horizon with unobstructed rolling landscape as far as you can see. The mountains and hills of Colorado are majestic, but there is an awesome beauty to the wide open spaces with brilliant blues and rich greens overwhelming the eyes.
Just today, I went for a typical walk, wearing my new prescription sunglasses. This sharp image of glorious blue and green hit me in the face. My thoughts immediately lifted to the Lord and his tender and merciful care for me. While summer reading includes more thoughtful study of the scriptures, Romans 1 further illustrates how the creation points me to the Lord. "For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. " Romans 1:19-20
In addition to summer Bible study, where the radiance of God's glory and goodness is revealed and my need for Him is increasingly obvious, home improvement projects are also in full swing. We are consumed with nearly a hundred shades of blue to select just the right color for Caroline's room. Several friends serve as advisers and mediators in this long-awaited decision. It gives me great pleasure to check off overdue tasks from my list. However, the unusual abundance of July rain keeps our shrubs and beds in constant need of upkeep and I'm finding it nearly impossible to get a landscape company to call me back. I want to subdue the lush greenery surrounding us! Once again, the scriptures encourage my soul even as I find myself irritated by these beautiful shades of green.
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! Do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:25-31
Summertime is sweet in so many ways. I'm very thankful for the Lord's provision of much rest, thoughtful study and some time to complete meaningful tasks. Perhaps the greatest blessing during the long summer days is how the LORD restores my soul as he grows in me a desire to walk in the Spirit. Psalm 23 captures this well.
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23: 1-3
Just today, I went for a typical walk, wearing my new prescription sunglasses. This sharp image of glorious blue and green hit me in the face. My thoughts immediately lifted to the Lord and his tender and merciful care for me. While summer reading includes more thoughtful study of the scriptures, Romans 1 further illustrates how the creation points me to the Lord. "For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. " Romans 1:19-20
In addition to summer Bible study, where the radiance of God's glory and goodness is revealed and my need for Him is increasingly obvious, home improvement projects are also in full swing. We are consumed with nearly a hundred shades of blue to select just the right color for Caroline's room. Several friends serve as advisers and mediators in this long-awaited decision. It gives me great pleasure to check off overdue tasks from my list. However, the unusual abundance of July rain keeps our shrubs and beds in constant need of upkeep and I'm finding it nearly impossible to get a landscape company to call me back. I want to subdue the lush greenery surrounding us! Once again, the scriptures encourage my soul even as I find myself irritated by these beautiful shades of green.
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! Do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:25-31
Summertime is sweet in so many ways. I'm very thankful for the Lord's provision of much rest, thoughtful study and some time to complete meaningful tasks. Perhaps the greatest blessing during the long summer days is how the LORD restores my soul as he grows in me a desire to walk in the Spirit. Psalm 23 captures this well.
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23: 1-3
Friday, July 5, 2013
Wildflowers, Mountain Vistas and Gracious Comfort
As I stare out over the 6th hole of Crested Butte's golf club with the stunning Butte just behind the green, I'm thankful for the Lord's gracious provision of mountain beauty surrounding us while experiencing deep sadness for the first time in months. The combination of paradise and pain is even more distinct than I imagined. No doubt, we are abundantly blessed to witness such spectacular sights while on vacation! The valley of CB is glorious as the wildflowers are at their peak and the snowcapped mountains are majestic and inspiring.
Obviously, we are overwhelmed with reminders of Dad. However, I'm struck with the randomness of triggers causing the tears to flow; it's not Dad's chair, his closet or climbing the Butte without him for the 2nd time in my life. Ordering a scoop of ice cream, finding his 4th of July stash and seeing a photo of him atop a raised firetruck ladder from the last 4th of July reminds me of his unusually fun loving and adventurous spirit. There is a definite lack of energy surrounding us as we hike, picnic, play games and enjoy lots of time as a family. As I dug through his box of hats and beads, missing him so very much, I longed for one more surprising moment with Dad with his zest for life on full display.
While reading Psalm 121 on the porch this morning, I remembered how this passage filled my thoughts during our time in ICU. I wasn't reading my Bible during those stressful days, but these words of scripture comforted my soul as I considered the possibility of losing Dad. Today, I lift my eyes, once again, to the "hills" and thank the Lord for his gracious comfort and steadfast love while overwhelmed with memories in a mountain paradise.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
Obviously, we are overwhelmed with reminders of Dad. However, I'm struck with the randomness of triggers causing the tears to flow; it's not Dad's chair, his closet or climbing the Butte without him for the 2nd time in my life. Ordering a scoop of ice cream, finding his 4th of July stash and seeing a photo of him atop a raised firetruck ladder from the last 4th of July reminds me of his unusually fun loving and adventurous spirit. There is a definite lack of energy surrounding us as we hike, picnic, play games and enjoy lots of time as a family. As I dug through his box of hats and beads, missing him so very much, I longed for one more surprising moment with Dad with his zest for life on full display.
While reading Psalm 121 on the porch this morning, I remembered how this passage filled my thoughts during our time in ICU. I wasn't reading my Bible during those stressful days, but these words of scripture comforted my soul as I considered the possibility of losing Dad. Today, I lift my eyes, once again, to the "hills" and thank the Lord for his gracious comfort and steadfast love while overwhelmed with memories in a mountain paradise.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
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