Thursday, August 22, 2013
Meet the (oh, so grateful) Teacher
I woke up this morning with a feeling similar to childhood Christmas morning. It's Thursday of "teacher work week". So, why the excitement as the day begins? This evening we have Meet the Teacher, a very common event throughout the country during the month of August, but it is one of those "duties" where everything I love about my job is on full display! (Last year, I missed this while I spent time with Dad in Grand Junction's ICU as reports from doctors became painfully grim.) With much joy, this evening I have the opportunity to meet precious children who I will teach as they begin their school journey. Tonight begins a relationship with the families where the goal is to work together to help their children grow in so many ways. I am very grateful for this brief window (of one year) to invest in the lives of such incredible children. The year goes by so quickly, yet, it gives us a rare blessing to encourage, instruct, nurture and rejoice with precious new friends. As I meet these new friends of mine, with their shy and nervous smiles, I consider myself honored and privileged to be their teacher this year!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Back to School-- Eager Anticipation and Overwhelming Dread
It's that time again. Teachers and families are in back-to-school mode all over the country. School supplies and clothing fill our shopping carts, paperwork deadlines (now online) fill our time and thoughts of eager anticipation fill our minds as we get ready for another school year. The Oliphint girls are excited about entering 10th, 8th and 6th grade. Of course, I am delighted about welcoming another precious group of children who are starting kindergarten. It's an eventful and thrilling time of year. Everything is bright, new, crisp and clean as we pack our school bags and as I organize my classroom. I couldn't be more enthusiastic while jumping back into familiar tasks and routines. However, there is another overwhelming feeling that nags at the same time. This week marks the anniversary of my Dad's horse riding accident, followed by the anniversary of his death (and returning to work at that time).
You would think after completing a year of "firsts" that we would be ready for this, but in many ways, I feel stuck, not knowing how to grieve. There is not a manual or "grief for dummies" that prepares you for the unexpected emotions and experiences. I've been surprised by the process every step of the way. One thing that keeps hitting me is that there is just no fancy way to describe the loss of your closest loved ones. It's just plain sad. It catches you off guard with frequent, unwanted tears, a heavy burning in the chest and with a continual lump in your throat.
In so many ways, it seems our family should celebrate having survived and completed this year with so much purpose, hope and renewed faith. It brings honor to Dad that all of his grandkids have grieved deeply while also applying themselves to various endeavors with passion, intense focus and accomplishment. Mom honors him each day as she grieves with strength and grace and a focus on enjoying life and serving others. Still, as we approach the next few weeks of anniversaries I don't feel like celebrating. It just feels painful, a feeling that has become all too familiar to our family over the last 12 months. We did not grieve him over a period of years with a gradual decline in his health. He was snatched from us at his peak-- physically, professionally and socially. While visiting with Mom recently, I mentioned that I thought I would be further along in the process after a year (not expecting the same from her). Surprisingly, some of the hardest moments have been in the recent weeks and months.
This time of anniversaries marks one of the hardest, yet most wonderful years of life. On the home front, we grieved the loss of Dad while we entered "unfamiliar teen territory". This combination drove me to my knees in dependent & humble prayer. In the classroom, I savored the joyful days with a most exceptional group of students. Now, I have such mixed emotions as we anticipate another school year together. My first desire is to honor my Heavenly Father at home, work and play, but I also want to honor Dad and his memory as we mark a year without him in our lives. His legacy lives on in our family. He modeled a life of joyful service, hard work, passion and love for others. I have daily reminders of Dad's strong influence in our lives and I continually thank the Lord this blessing to our family.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24
You would think after completing a year of "firsts" that we would be ready for this, but in many ways, I feel stuck, not knowing how to grieve. There is not a manual or "grief for dummies" that prepares you for the unexpected emotions and experiences. I've been surprised by the process every step of the way. One thing that keeps hitting me is that there is just no fancy way to describe the loss of your closest loved ones. It's just plain sad. It catches you off guard with frequent, unwanted tears, a heavy burning in the chest and with a continual lump in your throat.
In so many ways, it seems our family should celebrate having survived and completed this year with so much purpose, hope and renewed faith. It brings honor to Dad that all of his grandkids have grieved deeply while also applying themselves to various endeavors with passion, intense focus and accomplishment. Mom honors him each day as she grieves with strength and grace and a focus on enjoying life and serving others. Still, as we approach the next few weeks of anniversaries I don't feel like celebrating. It just feels painful, a feeling that has become all too familiar to our family over the last 12 months. We did not grieve him over a period of years with a gradual decline in his health. He was snatched from us at his peak-- physically, professionally and socially. While visiting with Mom recently, I mentioned that I thought I would be further along in the process after a year (not expecting the same from her). Surprisingly, some of the hardest moments have been in the recent weeks and months.
This time of anniversaries marks one of the hardest, yet most wonderful years of life. On the home front, we grieved the loss of Dad while we entered "unfamiliar teen territory". This combination drove me to my knees in dependent & humble prayer. In the classroom, I savored the joyful days with a most exceptional group of students. Now, I have such mixed emotions as we anticipate another school year together. My first desire is to honor my Heavenly Father at home, work and play, but I also want to honor Dad and his memory as we mark a year without him in our lives. His legacy lives on in our family. He modeled a life of joyful service, hard work, passion and love for others. I have daily reminders of Dad's strong influence in our lives and I continually thank the Lord this blessing to our family.
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Hebrews 10:23-24
Monday, July 22, 2013
Sweet Summertime-- Shades of Blue and Green
The dog days of summer bring extra time for writing, yet less interest in gathering my thoughts. It's as if my mind is turning to mush as I enjoy an abundance of time with my girls with little to no schedule ruling our lives. Oddly, the theme of our quiet and lazy days, besides PJ's and sweet frozen beverages, includes shades of blue and green. One of my favorite things upon return from vacation is the GREAT BIG TEXAS sky meeting the horizon with unobstructed rolling landscape as far as you can see. The mountains and hills of Colorado are majestic, but there is an awesome beauty to the wide open spaces with brilliant blues and rich greens overwhelming the eyes.
Just today, I went for a typical walk, wearing my new prescription sunglasses. This sharp image of glorious blue and green hit me in the face. My thoughts immediately lifted to the Lord and his tender and merciful care for me. While summer reading includes more thoughtful study of the scriptures, Romans 1 further illustrates how the creation points me to the Lord. "For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. " Romans 1:19-20
In addition to summer Bible study, where the radiance of God's glory and goodness is revealed and my need for Him is increasingly obvious, home improvement projects are also in full swing. We are consumed with nearly a hundred shades of blue to select just the right color for Caroline's room. Several friends serve as advisers and mediators in this long-awaited decision. It gives me great pleasure to check off overdue tasks from my list. However, the unusual abundance of July rain keeps our shrubs and beds in constant need of upkeep and I'm finding it nearly impossible to get a landscape company to call me back. I want to subdue the lush greenery surrounding us! Once again, the scriptures encourage my soul even as I find myself irritated by these beautiful shades of green.
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! Do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:25-31
Summertime is sweet in so many ways. I'm very thankful for the Lord's provision of much rest, thoughtful study and some time to complete meaningful tasks. Perhaps the greatest blessing during the long summer days is how the LORD restores my soul as he grows in me a desire to walk in the Spirit. Psalm 23 captures this well.
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23: 1-3
Just today, I went for a typical walk, wearing my new prescription sunglasses. This sharp image of glorious blue and green hit me in the face. My thoughts immediately lifted to the Lord and his tender and merciful care for me. While summer reading includes more thoughtful study of the scriptures, Romans 1 further illustrates how the creation points me to the Lord. "For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. " Romans 1:19-20
In addition to summer Bible study, where the radiance of God's glory and goodness is revealed and my need for Him is increasingly obvious, home improvement projects are also in full swing. We are consumed with nearly a hundred shades of blue to select just the right color for Caroline's room. Several friends serve as advisers and mediators in this long-awaited decision. It gives me great pleasure to check off overdue tasks from my list. However, the unusual abundance of July rain keeps our shrubs and beds in constant need of upkeep and I'm finding it nearly impossible to get a landscape company to call me back. I want to subdue the lush greenery surrounding us! Once again, the scriptures encourage my soul even as I find myself irritated by these beautiful shades of green.
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! Do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:25-31
Summertime is sweet in so many ways. I'm very thankful for the Lord's provision of much rest, thoughtful study and some time to complete meaningful tasks. Perhaps the greatest blessing during the long summer days is how the LORD restores my soul as he grows in me a desire to walk in the Spirit. Psalm 23 captures this well.
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23: 1-3
Friday, July 5, 2013
Wildflowers, Mountain Vistas and Gracious Comfort
As I stare out over the 6th hole of Crested Butte's golf club with the stunning Butte just behind the green, I'm thankful for the Lord's gracious provision of mountain beauty surrounding us while experiencing deep sadness for the first time in months. The combination of paradise and pain is even more distinct than I imagined. No doubt, we are abundantly blessed to witness such spectacular sights while on vacation! The valley of CB is glorious as the wildflowers are at their peak and the snowcapped mountains are majestic and inspiring.
Obviously, we are overwhelmed with reminders of Dad. However, I'm struck with the randomness of triggers causing the tears to flow; it's not Dad's chair, his closet or climbing the Butte without him for the 2nd time in my life. Ordering a scoop of ice cream, finding his 4th of July stash and seeing a photo of him atop a raised firetruck ladder from the last 4th of July reminds me of his unusually fun loving and adventurous spirit. There is a definite lack of energy surrounding us as we hike, picnic, play games and enjoy lots of time as a family. As I dug through his box of hats and beads, missing him so very much, I longed for one more surprising moment with Dad with his zest for life on full display.
While reading Psalm 121 on the porch this morning, I remembered how this passage filled my thoughts during our time in ICU. I wasn't reading my Bible during those stressful days, but these words of scripture comforted my soul as I considered the possibility of losing Dad. Today, I lift my eyes, once again, to the "hills" and thank the Lord for his gracious comfort and steadfast love while overwhelmed with memories in a mountain paradise.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
Obviously, we are overwhelmed with reminders of Dad. However, I'm struck with the randomness of triggers causing the tears to flow; it's not Dad's chair, his closet or climbing the Butte without him for the 2nd time in my life. Ordering a scoop of ice cream, finding his 4th of July stash and seeing a photo of him atop a raised firetruck ladder from the last 4th of July reminds me of his unusually fun loving and adventurous spirit. There is a definite lack of energy surrounding us as we hike, picnic, play games and enjoy lots of time as a family. As I dug through his box of hats and beads, missing him so very much, I longed for one more surprising moment with Dad with his zest for life on full display.
While reading Psalm 121 on the porch this morning, I remembered how this passage filled my thoughts during our time in ICU. I wasn't reading my Bible during those stressful days, but these words of scripture comforted my soul as I considered the possibility of losing Dad. Today, I lift my eyes, once again, to the "hills" and thank the Lord for his gracious comfort and steadfast love while overwhelmed with memories in a mountain paradise.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
Friday, June 28, 2013
Irony and Blessing
Do you ever have the feeling that life is a strange trip and you're just along for the ride? That is exactly how I felt this week while driving around in my Dad's Lexus and enjoying all the bells and whistles. I felt like a fish out of water. There is something very ironic about a school teacher/pastor's wife in a luxury automobile. The timing of this purchase is not lost on me as it is also the week of the Teach ONE mission trip in Zambia, which I was a part of last year. My thoughts and prayers are with the teachers working in the compounds of Lusaka (wishing I was with them!) as they minister to children without even the most basic luxuries-- beds, electricity, food and water. There is additional irony as Kyle and I just decided we would like for our whole family to serve in some capacity in Zambia over the next few years. I even had this fleeting idea: I could sell this car to pay for most of that expense. While this might sound like a genius idea, I don't plan to give up Dad's car any time soon. With a 3rd driver on the horizon, I will continue to enjoy God's surprising blessing and provision for our family.
Even this morning, another strange tension follows us as we leave for vacation in Crested Butte, the location of my Dad's accident last summer. There is something odd about the combination of vacation and returning to the place where we tragically lost my father. While Mom, John and I have returned to the CB home on different occasions, Kyle and the girls said their last goodbye to Dad in the Colorado driveway at the end of their last visit. The blessing of time in "paradise" will be mixed with painful memories and feelings as everything will remind us of him.
Whether, humorously driving my Dad's fancy car or sadly remembering him in the place he loved most on earth, I'm determined to enjoy the luxury of vacation and a fine automobile as gifts from God for our good and his glory. Faith in Christ is the most unfathomable blessing of all. "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
Even this morning, another strange tension follows us as we leave for vacation in Crested Butte, the location of my Dad's accident last summer. There is something odd about the combination of vacation and returning to the place where we tragically lost my father. While Mom, John and I have returned to the CB home on different occasions, Kyle and the girls said their last goodbye to Dad in the Colorado driveway at the end of their last visit. The blessing of time in "paradise" will be mixed with painful memories and feelings as everything will remind us of him.
Whether, humorously driving my Dad's fancy car or sadly remembering him in the place he loved most on earth, I'm determined to enjoy the luxury of vacation and a fine automobile as gifts from God for our good and his glory. Faith in Christ is the most unfathomable blessing of all. "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
One Year: A Changed Look and Perspective
Both photos show Zambian children on the the road in Lusaka surrounded by hopeless poverty. The impoverished road represents the brokenness of the world where we all live. The previous picture was dark, profoundly serious and inactive with children thoughtfully observing the camera and their surroundings. The new photo shows eager and joyful children in active pursuit of our vehicle on my first drive through the compounds of Lusaka. While the circumstances and environment are the same, the posture and perspective of the individuals is completely different.
For the last 12 months and 42 blog posts, I have had a most serious and observant posture as I have been on the receiving end of Christ's sustaining grace and as He has stretched me in new ways. (Similar to how my grandfather would let me stand on his feet while leading me in a dance.) The first photo shows this perspective in my thoughts and writing. However, the counselor's question leads me to consider this: What am I doing to "feed my soul" as I travel the difficult road of life? This requires an active pursuit of Christ and knowing Him more intimately in the midst of joy and suffering. It's time to "dance" along beside him as if stepping off of my grandfather's toes to participate more fully. As we closed out our discussion, the counselor wrapped up with some questions relating to my roles in life and this particular season as wife, mother, minister's wife and teacher, obviously showing how Christ knows my weakness in every way and has experienced all of it in the flesh, yet without sin. As I consider another year of writing, my hope and prayer (and active pursuit) will be to seek Christ in all things. It is encouraging to have you follow this journey with me.
"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority." ....... "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."
Colossians 2:9 and 3:1-4
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Selfie
Sometimes I feel a blog coming similar to a growing appetite for some kind of food. Much of the time God is stretching me or lifting my eyes to Him as my only refuge and fortress in the storms of life. Well, this post is different; it stems from a recent pet peeve. When I mentioned the subject to Kyle, he said, "Be careful." I will attempt to be "fair and balanced" like our favorite news show-- Special Report With Bret Baier.
Raising (beautiful) teenagers in an internet saturated world overwhelms and stresses me. While I'm active enough on Facebook and a stalker on Twitter, the social media choices are too much for this one track minded Mama. Instagram, Vine and Snap Chat are other popular tools for our girls. Thankfully, Kyle is all in with social media and keeps a close eye on their activity. It seems negligent for parents to be "anti-social media" while their children are actively using such things. But I digress....
In an effort to keep tabs on Instagram use, I have a weekly stalking time where I borrow one of the girls i-pods and scroll the feed for each of them. This often results in much drama throughout our house. Frankly, our girls hate this ritual and I do too! The most debated topic in these weekly sessions includes "THE SELFIE" and "Selfie Sunday" really gets me going! For those of you without teenagers, a "Selfie" is a photo taken of oneself and then posted on the internet for the world to see. It is an all too common practice with our youth today. My take on the Selfie is less than charitable: Look at me world. Look how beautiful I am. If you like my picture, I will be encouraged. If hundreds of you like my picture, I will even feel more valuable or worthwhile. If you don't like my Selfie, then I will likely remove it with some sense of discouragement. I'm being crass to make a point. My girls have heard this lecture dozens of times, but the Selfies are alive and well in the Oliphint home and they are not forbidden. Many of you smile knowingly as you are fellow Instagram users with my girls.
Having grown up without a computer or the internet, teenagers in my day were limited to the car visor and rear view mirror to inspect themselves. We were left wondering what others thought without the constant "feedback" about our images. I'm not saying we were any less self-consumed or immature, but we didn't have the internet to fuel our insecurity. Sometimes it all seems too much for parents to get their minds around, especially considering how quickly things change and how clueless many of us feel in the social media world. I'm convinced we need to keep up and be active, because it's here to stay in one form or another.
As a mother, hoping to raise strong, God fearing, modest and humble girls, how do I navigate and regulate internet use with wisdom and grace? I have no idea. The teenage years require mercy and patience beyond me. However, daily I return to the Lord with my foolishness and pray for more grace and wisdom. My greatest desire is for the girls to love and honor the Lord, but I'm all too aware they must see this in their mother first of all. Ugh.... that's the rub. It's easier for me to regulate and control than for me to constantly point them to the gospel where Christ continually pursues me in the midst of my insecurity and weakness. May Christ's abundant mercy and steadfast love continue to transform our hearts. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Raising (beautiful) teenagers in an internet saturated world overwhelms and stresses me. While I'm active enough on Facebook and a stalker on Twitter, the social media choices are too much for this one track minded Mama. Instagram, Vine and Snap Chat are other popular tools for our girls. Thankfully, Kyle is all in with social media and keeps a close eye on their activity. It seems negligent for parents to be "anti-social media" while their children are actively using such things. But I digress....
In an effort to keep tabs on Instagram use, I have a weekly stalking time where I borrow one of the girls i-pods and scroll the feed for each of them. This often results in much drama throughout our house. Frankly, our girls hate this ritual and I do too! The most debated topic in these weekly sessions includes "THE SELFIE" and "Selfie Sunday" really gets me going! For those of you without teenagers, a "Selfie" is a photo taken of oneself and then posted on the internet for the world to see. It is an all too common practice with our youth today. My take on the Selfie is less than charitable: Look at me world. Look how beautiful I am. If you like my picture, I will be encouraged. If hundreds of you like my picture, I will even feel more valuable or worthwhile. If you don't like my Selfie, then I will likely remove it with some sense of discouragement. I'm being crass to make a point. My girls have heard this lecture dozens of times, but the Selfies are alive and well in the Oliphint home and they are not forbidden. Many of you smile knowingly as you are fellow Instagram users with my girls.
Having grown up without a computer or the internet, teenagers in my day were limited to the car visor and rear view mirror to inspect themselves. We were left wondering what others thought without the constant "feedback" about our images. I'm not saying we were any less self-consumed or immature, but we didn't have the internet to fuel our insecurity. Sometimes it all seems too much for parents to get their minds around, especially considering how quickly things change and how clueless many of us feel in the social media world. I'm convinced we need to keep up and be active, because it's here to stay in one form or another.
As a mother, hoping to raise strong, God fearing, modest and humble girls, how do I navigate and regulate internet use with wisdom and grace? I have no idea. The teenage years require mercy and patience beyond me. However, daily I return to the Lord with my foolishness and pray for more grace and wisdom. My greatest desire is for the girls to love and honor the Lord, but I'm all too aware they must see this in their mother first of all. Ugh.... that's the rub. It's easier for me to regulate and control than for me to constantly point them to the gospel where Christ continually pursues me in the midst of my insecurity and weakness. May Christ's abundant mercy and steadfast love continue to transform our hearts. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
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