Today is our 5th Father's Day since we lost Dad. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in other ways it seems like he's been gone for decades. Within a week of his passing, we were in the middle of memorial service plans and discussions. My brother John quickly showed interest in speaking at the service and I immediately told Mom I could not share anything due to my complicated relationship with Dad. Mom responded by saying something about how my perspective gives one of the many facets of him. She encouraged me to think about it. So I did. Below are the thoughts I put together in the midst of shock and intense grief. I ended up sharing this at his memorial service. Five years seems like a fitting time to record this for future decades. I have since gotten a new computer and only have a paper copy of these words and memories. This morning I was visiting with a friend who recently lost her Dad and it hit me that Father's Day doesn't get any easier with the years. The loss remains the same while the bitter pain softens with time. For anyone interested in a lengthy read of great value to me, here is my Dad.
September 15, 2012
Dad was a leader in business, in the Tulsa community and he was the fascinating leader and life force in our family. As his only daughter, I was not always the best follower, but I was one of his biggest fans and we enjoyed a colorful and exciting relationship. Over 4 decades, Mom, John and I repeatedly received the same comment from others that caused us to laugh or roll our eyes: "It must be so fun to have Carl as a husband or father." While he dazzled the world with his humor, magic and charismatic personality, he did not perform for us. He was our audience, cheerleader and he provided the faithful support, which enabled us to reach our goals, overcome challenges and to have abundantly blessed lives. As a child and young adult, I was horribly scared of heights, however, Dad made sure we climbed Mt. Crested Butte together regularly, a climb that includes significant exposure. Year after year, I froze in paranoid fear with Dad often right behind me. He got me up the mountain one rock at a time, as he selected each rock to grab a hold of and he found stable footing for the next step. He literally pushed me to the peak as he called out yards to go and he never doubted my ability to make it. In his mind, fear was an opportunity to push yourself and there was never a goal out of reach. This captures well his support throughout my life! Our family became very familiar with his well-worn magic tricks, spoon hanging skills and endless episodes of blowing paper off of his nose and we always enjoyed a front row seat as he brought joy and bewilderment to new audiences. In just over seventy years, he never met a stranger and he always assumed you were fast friends upon meeting. Even as a 1st grader, he entered the classroom on the first day and began passing out books without directions from the teacher.
As I reflect on Dad's strong and abiding role in my life for 42 years, I am grateful for his example of generosity and his love of adventure. His exceptional work ethic inspires me. Not only did he manage an industrious and successful career, but he did it with a unique, refreshing and healthy perspective. Among the countless memories and experiences with Dad, including ski trips where skiing at fast speeds was mandatory, father/daughter trips, climbing the Butte, hiking to Aspen and Young family trips around the globe, a memory that stands out to me was after the birth of our first child. I got an infection that knocked me out. Dad's care for his first granddaughter and for me was beautiful and unforgettable. He waited on us like a nurse maid and believe it or not, he did it quietly.
Perhaps one of the qualities I admire the most and try to imitate is his ability to endure difficulty and suffering with a positive and determined perspective. One of his famous lines to our family was, "You've got to get beyond this." As we grieve the tremendous loss in our family, we do so knowing he would expect us to carry on his legacy with purpose, faith, humor and with optimism.
Over the past few weeks, John and I have relived countless memories to share with you, but 99% of those stories have been vetoed by our mother. These conversations will have to continue in more private quarters for years to come. Needless to say, Dad was unlike any other. He did not fit into any mold or abide by any cultural or social norm set by this world. He was exceptionally unique, genuine and charming. I think we can all agree that we are better for having known him and that he left his mark on each of us. People were never indifferent to his presence in their lives.
While our family has poured over the guestbook on Caring Bridge finding much comfort with each entry, one post resonated with my impression of Dad. Francisco Romero shared a writing from Theodore Roosevelt which I would like to share with you:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
One of my last memories with Dad, just 5 days before his accident, was on our last day in Crested Butte. After two weeks of endless activities related to his passions and interests; including opera events for the music festival, multiple stunning hikes, and Dad's latest pleasure of baking cookies almost daily, he wanted us to see more of the sights and to finish our vacation strong. So, he gave us a list of exciting and beautiful places he would drive us and even named a few more hikes to consider. To his dismay and surprise, our family wanted to sit and watch the Olympics before the 13 hour drive the next day. In Dad's world, relaxing was reserved for naps and bedtime. He was always in the action (possibly making a scene) while capturing another beautiful image on his camera. A day with nothing on the schedule while we were on vacation was a foreign concept to him. He was even known to critique our mother/daughter trips if he felt we were not actively engaged in our surroundings. I remember vividly Dad recounting the Oliphint's puzzling choice to Mom later in the day and as always, after nearly 50 years of marriage, she responded masterfully. While my initial thought about this decision included much regret for missing one last drive/adventure with Dad, he would tell me to get over it.
I find great comfort and rejoice knowing that the amazing grace and abundant mercy of the Lord has allowed Dad to enter a new arena where he will spend an eternity basking in the glory of his surroundings. He will witness beauty and have experiences beyond anything this world has to offer. And we all know Dad expended every ounce of energy living life to the fullest and spreading joy in this world. With eager anticipation, I look forward to joining him some day where there will be a whole new list of things for him to share with us. My next "drive" with Dad (figuratively speaking) will be worth the wait and will be gloriously surrounded by the perfection of the Lord's presence.
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
A New Chapter
Today marks a first for me as I'm anxiously awaiting my child returning home for the holidays. Even now she is wrapping up classes and packing the car to travel for Thanksgiving. It is such a surreal experience to think of her visiting just like grandparents, aunts and uncles have done over the years. After so many tears, a roller coaster of emotions from senior year and the gut wrenching sadness (practically removing a limb from my body as we dropped her off at college), we're adjusting to a season with our daughter becoming an adult with many new experiences for her and the rest of us. There are perks as we find ourselves fitting into 4 tops at restaurants once again after almost 15 years at the big table. Communication efforts have increased in delightful ways with phone calls, Facetime, Snap Chat and so on, considering we don't have the normal daily routine of her coming and going in our household with quick hellos and goodbyes. Our entire house has a different feel without her calming, measured and strong personality. It doesn't seem normal, just yet. Family dynamics are changing and often unsettled. You might say, I've been off my A-game this fall, to say the least. I know we will find a new normal and then another one and then another one as the girls gradually move on to college in the next 3 + years, but for now, it feels like we're at the beginning of something big and something very good. For 19 years, we planted seeds, we guided, we listened, we lectured, we yelled, we encouraged, we comforted, we fought, we counseled, we asked for forgiveness and we prayed. There's something truly spectacular about seeing your child step out on her own and watching as she owns her faith and as she makes decisions that reflect years of upbringing, yet also seeing her independence and the opportunity for her to begin a life on her own, doing things her way, with the Lord's goodness guiding and sustaining her in the midst of various trials. As I eagerly await the arrival of sweet Katie Belle and also her grandmother traveling ahead of her on the same Oklahoma highway, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving for the Lord's goodness to our family at the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. His steadfast love never ends. I'm in awe of His faithfulness as I begin to see my own child in a new light and watch her shine brightly in this world. She was never mine to keep. This becomes increasingly real as her time with us will be in spurts (visits) from this time forward. For now, we will shower her with the goodness that comes with a first time being home for the holidays. I hope your family also enjoys the comfort of being surrounded by family and friends at Thanksgiving. I imagine many of you, like us, ache and long for those who have gone home to be with the Lord as you celebrate. May the comfort and peace of Christ overwhelm your hearts during the holiday season.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Peaks and Valleys
Summer 2016 comes to a close with new beginnings and possibilities like every year, but this year includes unfamiliar sadness. The final weekend of summer hits immediately after leaving our daughter on a college campus and driving home without her. We just left her there! In addition to a heavy weight of sadness, there's a sense of rejoicing--- "We did it!" We raised that loving, beautiful young lady now exploring possibilities and dreams on her own. It feels something like a mountain top high, but it comes after the intensity and exhaustion of the final steps climbing the peak, where your heart hurts from the altitude and your legs give out from the steep incline.
Every year we spend the dog days of summer in our beloved Crested Butte. One of our annual traditions is to climb the peak of the Butte. However, due to a tragic death on the mountain, the Oliphints decided not to climb this year. For some odd reason, I have a huge desire to complete this annual event, so I tagged along with my brother's family. Being crazy scared of heights and with such great exposure on the peak, I've come to believe if I can tackle that mountain each year, I can handle anything the Lord brings into my life during the following months. While hiking at a fast pace, completely out of breath and above tree line, we were told to turn back due to storms in the area. I was not able to reach the peak this year. It hit me on this brief hike and others of incline in the area that a "mountain top high" only comes after the effort and pain of the journey. I've always thought of the high being one of peace and joy. However, it is in the valley where there is rest. You can hike at leisure with no need for exertion. Summer felt like a hike through a quiet valley. I am renewed and ready to start the climb of another school year.
Being in the mid-to-late : ( forties, I've noticed a growing difficulty with breathing while on the mountain. During one of many needed stops, in the heat of the day, I stepped into the cleft of a rock needing shade. This was a visual reminder to me of the protection that comes from the Lord as the good shepherd of our souls. While I am heartbroken by the absence of our daughter at home, I know she is where the Lord will do great things in her life. She will experience the intensity of reaching peaks on her own and the rest that comes from hiding herself in the Lord's goodness, whether in the midst of the climb or in the valley. To stick with the hiking analogy, we filled her backpack with all the necessary supplies and we even drove her to the trailhead. Now, she walks with the Lord. All praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing us the incredible joy and privilege of raising Katie Belle Oliphint, because we know she will be used for good and for His glory!
Every year we spend the dog days of summer in our beloved Crested Butte. One of our annual traditions is to climb the peak of the Butte. However, due to a tragic death on the mountain, the Oliphints decided not to climb this year. For some odd reason, I have a huge desire to complete this annual event, so I tagged along with my brother's family. Being crazy scared of heights and with such great exposure on the peak, I've come to believe if I can tackle that mountain each year, I can handle anything the Lord brings into my life during the following months. While hiking at a fast pace, completely out of breath and above tree line, we were told to turn back due to storms in the area. I was not able to reach the peak this year. It hit me on this brief hike and others of incline in the area that a "mountain top high" only comes after the effort and pain of the journey. I've always thought of the high being one of peace and joy. However, it is in the valley where there is rest. You can hike at leisure with no need for exertion. Summer felt like a hike through a quiet valley. I am renewed and ready to start the climb of another school year.
Being in the mid-to-late : ( forties, I've noticed a growing difficulty with breathing while on the mountain. During one of many needed stops, in the heat of the day, I stepped into the cleft of a rock needing shade. This was a visual reminder to me of the protection that comes from the Lord as the good shepherd of our souls. While I am heartbroken by the absence of our daughter at home, I know she is where the Lord will do great things in her life. She will experience the intensity of reaching peaks on her own and the rest that comes from hiding herself in the Lord's goodness, whether in the midst of the climb or in the valley. To stick with the hiking analogy, we filled her backpack with all the necessary supplies and we even drove her to the trailhead. Now, she walks with the Lord. All praise and thanksgiving to God for allowing us the incredible joy and privilege of raising Katie Belle Oliphint, because we know she will be used for good and for His glory!
Monday, July 18, 2016
The Shadow of the Almighty
The long awaited return trip to Zambia is in the books, but not without leaving a lasting and eternal impression on me, not to mention some nagging jet lag over the past week or so. Being in the schools after four years, comes with a perspective of incredible progress that might not be as obvious from year to year. It is staggering to consider the growth in facilities, staff, curriculum, training and general care for the children in the schools. To be sure, the challenges seem insurmountable to my weak faith, but the take home from this trip is one of God powerfully and tenderly defending the orphan amidst hopeless surroundings. I witnessed incredible human souls, my brothers and sisters in Christ across the globe, as the hands and feet of Jesus to His children. It was an enormous privilege to be a part of His good plan in the midst of such sacred work.
My first trip to Zambia was a tangible expression of "the joy of the Lord" as true joy shined in the lives of defenseless orphans. Their lives continue to testify of the joy and strength that comes from knowing Christ, but the protection and provision of the Lord for His children was overwhelming to my eyes, my mind and my heart this year. Each morning we drove through impoverished streets on the way to school. As we entered the gates, hundreds of the most beautiful children greeted us, waving excitedly with bright eyes and eager smiles, each of them having just finished the long journey to school on foot through the same poor surroundings. Every morning my Zambian partner would check the fingernails, hair and teeth of her students and then remind them of general needs and upkeep. This struck me deeply as someone noticed the details of their lives with tender care, something we take for granted in our comfortable homes, but that orphaned and vulnerable children go without each day. She was in tune with their physical needs and tended to them. The school day is gloriously routine with scriptures, prayers, great progress in reading and with daily nutrition. Books and desks are a luxury and lunch/recess includes a continual wave of dust in your eyes and face, so unlike the schools in the US, but the joy of learning to read is no different from my kindergarten classroom in Texas. Kids are kids no matter the age, race, class or status. My students in Zambia had the same enthusiasm for the power and ownership of tackling words, sentences and meaning in books. Like so many of the American teachers serving, I struggled with how I could help the most during such a limited time. The Lord answered my prayers beyond what I could have imagined as we were matched with our Zambian teachers and classrooms so perfectly. The mission for this trip was a focus on a reading, my passion in the classroom. As these schools serve the most vulnerable children and the orphans of Zambia, the need is great, beyond my understanding, but I am truly grateful to be used in a very small way in the Lord's unfathomable work on behalf of His children and to see so clearly His loving care and protection for each of them.
One of the greatest joys of this trip was a reunion with my sweet Francis, our sponsored child. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to God for the incredible strides in his life since we first met. Having lived in the darkness and hopelessness of the streets in the compounds for much of his life, Francis is now overcoming that darkness with faith and hope and even goals to make a difference in the world. We had a number of meaningful conversations. Our final exchange and goodbye included me reminding him of our great God and His faithful provision and protection for him. Once again, after waiting 4 years for this treasured visit, the growth in his life, physically, intellectually and spiritually, is overwhelming. God's good work shines brightly in the midst of what seems impossible. While I am not comfortable or gifted in mission work (I go reluctantly in many ways), I am keenly aware that Heaven meets Earth in such a place as this. I long to spend eternity united in fellowship to these saints and friends of mine.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-- the Most High, who is my refuge-- no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." Psalm 91
My first trip to Zambia was a tangible expression of "the joy of the Lord" as true joy shined in the lives of defenseless orphans. Their lives continue to testify of the joy and strength that comes from knowing Christ, but the protection and provision of the Lord for His children was overwhelming to my eyes, my mind and my heart this year. Each morning we drove through impoverished streets on the way to school. As we entered the gates, hundreds of the most beautiful children greeted us, waving excitedly with bright eyes and eager smiles, each of them having just finished the long journey to school on foot through the same poor surroundings. Every morning my Zambian partner would check the fingernails, hair and teeth of her students and then remind them of general needs and upkeep. This struck me deeply as someone noticed the details of their lives with tender care, something we take for granted in our comfortable homes, but that orphaned and vulnerable children go without each day. She was in tune with their physical needs and tended to them. The school day is gloriously routine with scriptures, prayers, great progress in reading and with daily nutrition. Books and desks are a luxury and lunch/recess includes a continual wave of dust in your eyes and face, so unlike the schools in the US, but the joy of learning to read is no different from my kindergarten classroom in Texas. Kids are kids no matter the age, race, class or status. My students in Zambia had the same enthusiasm for the power and ownership of tackling words, sentences and meaning in books. Like so many of the American teachers serving, I struggled with how I could help the most during such a limited time. The Lord answered my prayers beyond what I could have imagined as we were matched with our Zambian teachers and classrooms so perfectly. The mission for this trip was a focus on a reading, my passion in the classroom. As these schools serve the most vulnerable children and the orphans of Zambia, the need is great, beyond my understanding, but I am truly grateful to be used in a very small way in the Lord's unfathomable work on behalf of His children and to see so clearly His loving care and protection for each of them.
One of the greatest joys of this trip was a reunion with my sweet Francis, our sponsored child. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to God for the incredible strides in his life since we first met. Having lived in the darkness and hopelessness of the streets in the compounds for much of his life, Francis is now overcoming that darkness with faith and hope and even goals to make a difference in the world. We had a number of meaningful conversations. Our final exchange and goodbye included me reminding him of our great God and His faithful provision and protection for him. Once again, after waiting 4 years for this treasured visit, the growth in his life, physically, intellectually and spiritually, is overwhelming. God's good work shines brightly in the midst of what seems impossible. While I am not comfortable or gifted in mission work (I go reluctantly in many ways), I am keenly aware that Heaven meets Earth in such a place as this. I long to spend eternity united in fellowship to these saints and friends of mine.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-- the Most High, who is my refuge-- no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." Psalm 91
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Ready, Set, GO
It's "go time". For the last four years, I've longed for the opportunity to return to the schools in Africa and to continue working with Zambian educators and students. I've also dreamed of taking one or all of my girls with me, but never believed it would be possible. Tomorrow morning, Katie and I travel to Lusaka, Zambia by way of Dubai where we will begin using our unique gifts in separate locations while both working with orphans. Now that it's time to go, so much anticipation has turned to into last minute stress and some heart ache about leaving Kyle, Caroline and Kelly. If you are inclined to pray for us, now is the time. Please pray for the obvious, health and safety, and also for fruitful ministry as we seek to serve precious children created in the image of God.
In preparation for this trip, we've been getting ready for months with various fundraising efforts: t-shirt sales and also gathering needed supplies. Family and friends from all seasons of life have made it possible for us to go. There really are no adequate words of gratitude for the generous and loving support we've received in all areas! We are ready and able thanks to so many of you.
Stress has been high in the recent weeks as we get everything set and organized for travel, including various shots and prescriptions. It is quite something for a Type A mother, with a checklist for each day to prepare for a mission trip with a laid back-go with the flow-no worries-daughter. Katie will be glad to get on a completely different shuttle when we arrive in Lusaka, Zambia on Saturday (7:30 in the morning Texas time). Of course, I will shower her with many last minute reminders as we go our separate ways. Again, if you are inclined to pray for us, now is the time!
With Katie's departure for college upon our return, ready, set, go seems to be the theme of the summer. There are six packed suitcases in the living room for Africa and there are dozens of stacks and piles for a college dorm in Katie's room. The checklists are detailed and long for both events. She will be stepping out on her own overseas as well as on a college campus. As we prepare for separate mission opportunities, we are also making sure she is ready for an independent life with all the needed supplies. I'm thankful it is not "go time" in that regard, yet. Whether it's short term missions or significant life/family changes, I'm reminded about the theme of this blog: the Lord is my shepherd. Those five words from scripture comfort my soul- day and night. Whether taking a walk or having a sleepless night, I rehearse these words over and over in my mind in the midst of fear and/or anxiety. God's goodness and grace is overwhelming to us and we give Him thanks for these opportunities. With Christ as our good shepherd, we can trust him to care for our needs as we follow him in the days, months and years ahead. May the Lord be glorified through our efforts in the next few weeks and may His love be showered upon our brothers and sisters across the globe.
In preparation for this trip, we've been getting ready for months with various fundraising efforts: t-shirt sales and also gathering needed supplies. Family and friends from all seasons of life have made it possible for us to go. There really are no adequate words of gratitude for the generous and loving support we've received in all areas! We are ready and able thanks to so many of you.
Stress has been high in the recent weeks as we get everything set and organized for travel, including various shots and prescriptions. It is quite something for a Type A mother, with a checklist for each day to prepare for a mission trip with a laid back-go with the flow-no worries-daughter. Katie will be glad to get on a completely different shuttle when we arrive in Lusaka, Zambia on Saturday (7:30 in the morning Texas time). Of course, I will shower her with many last minute reminders as we go our separate ways. Again, if you are inclined to pray for us, now is the time!
With Katie's departure for college upon our return, ready, set, go seems to be the theme of the summer. There are six packed suitcases in the living room for Africa and there are dozens of stacks and piles for a college dorm in Katie's room. The checklists are detailed and long for both events. She will be stepping out on her own overseas as well as on a college campus. As we prepare for separate mission opportunities, we are also making sure she is ready for an independent life with all the needed supplies. I'm thankful it is not "go time" in that regard, yet. Whether it's short term missions or significant life/family changes, I'm reminded about the theme of this blog: the Lord is my shepherd. Those five words from scripture comfort my soul- day and night. Whether taking a walk or having a sleepless night, I rehearse these words over and over in my mind in the midst of fear and/or anxiety. God's goodness and grace is overwhelming to us and we give Him thanks for these opportunities. With Christ as our good shepherd, we can trust him to care for our needs as we follow him in the days, months and years ahead. May the Lord be glorified through our efforts in the next few weeks and may His love be showered upon our brothers and sisters across the globe.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
New Things
They say, "You learn something new everyday." Well, this morning I've already learned several new things. As a Mom, working outside the home, I often miss the girls' activities. I've never been more aware of the sacrifices they make until now. I took the day off from teaching to watch a tennis tournament. With two girls on the tennis team at the high school, I've haven't attended a match in two years because they always play during the school day. While I can give you details of individual needs and learning styles for 20 five and six year olds, I don't know some of the sweetest details of our girls' lives. I learned few things about them this morning.
The day started listening to Kelly's piano practice before school. I had no idea she was learning to play "Amazing Grace" and perfecting the right hand part. I didn't know she was becoming fluent at the theme song to Disney's Pocahontas as I'm always gone when the girls roll out of bed. This morning was a treasure to me and it also provided a pleasant tune for humming (my habit) throughout day. Next, while watching a tough and hard fought tennis match, it struck me that I had no clue that Caroline was aggressive at the net or that she had a solid backhand swing. (Quite envious as the backhand was her mother's downfall on the court.) It's also news to me that she squats below the net as her partner serves, not wanting to be hit in the head. I'm so thankful for a brief window into the normal routine of their lives that I've been missing. Again, I'm especially conscious of how returning to the classroom, after over a decade of working at home, has impacted our family.
Just this week..... I've never been more aware that every day of life is a gift; we are not promised tomorrow! Today most certainly feels like a gift and one where I am thanking God for His amazing grace and His goodness in the life of our family. He showers our lives (our weaknesses and our parenting) with grace. He redeems, comforts, strengthens and provides abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. His steadfast love and faithfulness never ends.
The day started listening to Kelly's piano practice before school. I had no idea she was learning to play "Amazing Grace" and perfecting the right hand part. I didn't know she was becoming fluent at the theme song to Disney's Pocahontas as I'm always gone when the girls roll out of bed. This morning was a treasure to me and it also provided a pleasant tune for humming (my habit) throughout day. Next, while watching a tough and hard fought tennis match, it struck me that I had no clue that Caroline was aggressive at the net or that she had a solid backhand swing. (Quite envious as the backhand was her mother's downfall on the court.) It's also news to me that she squats below the net as her partner serves, not wanting to be hit in the head. I'm so thankful for a brief window into the normal routine of their lives that I've been missing. Again, I'm especially conscious of how returning to the classroom, after over a decade of working at home, has impacted our family.
Just this week..... I've never been more aware that every day of life is a gift; we are not promised tomorrow! Today most certainly feels like a gift and one where I am thanking God for His amazing grace and His goodness in the life of our family. He showers our lives (our weaknesses and our parenting) with grace. He redeems, comforts, strengthens and provides abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. His steadfast love and faithfulness never ends.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Footprints
After dozens and dozens of beach visits, too many to count, this time I was struck by the footprints in the sand. Obviously, I was a little distracted playing with the girls during the little years, but I've had enough return visits to have noticed these impressions. This year, we stayed just a short walk down the beach, going east or west, from two families who have profoundly impacted my life. (They've never met.) As I spent time with each of these dear friends, it felt like sacred time. God brought us together for a season-- and they each left significant footprints on me. I can honestly say, the impression they made is an eternal one.
As I spent lots of time thinking and praying this week, I considered one of the hardest things about being a pastor's wife during this season of life. The revolving door nature to ministry really gets to me. While we tend to be on the receiving end of families moving to new cities/churches, we've also been the ones who have left dear congregations. Either way, it's just hard. People come into a church body and they leave footprints in the life of its members. As a children's church and Sunday school teacher, I've invested in families who have made a lasting impression on me. When they leave, sometimes the footprints feel painful with gossip or slander (a stomping of sorts) and other times I watch them go with heartfelt tears and earnest prayers for where the Lord is taking them. Whether it's church life or a school/neighborhood community, we leave footprints in the lives of those we meet. Do we want to leave a bitter taste/impression, or do we want to leave an impression for lasting and eternal good? As I noticed the sand this week, the footprints were often traveling in one direction with a destination or goal in view and others were scattered and messy like so much of life. The most striking part was the constant, enormous tide washing over them all. It made me think of God's work in the lives of His people. Whether we are sure footed and confident in our journey of faith or not, His care and mercy never ends. It is overwhelming and constant. If you are my friend or family member, one of those who leaves a lasting impression on me, it is my prayer that you also taste and see that the Lord is good!
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Leaving the Nest
Recently on a walk, with the bare trees of winter against a brilliant blue sky, I noticed a birds nest in nearly every suburban tree. It hit me how tiny each nest was against the vast background. It is here that tiny baby birds are fed and protected in such a small space compared to the wide world available to them after the first month of life. After about two weeks, baby birds leave the nest, even though they are not able to fly or eat on their own. Then, for a few more weeks, the "fledgeling" birds hop around on the ground while the parents show them how to find food and what to eat. After one month, baby birds are full grown and able to fly on their own..... ready to take on the enormous world beyond the miniature nest. As we continue the approach to graduation (walking the plank of the graduation countdown), with 114 days remaining, it feels a bit like our oldest is leaving a very small, protected nest to explore a massive world. In some ways, it seems like she will be "hopping along the ground unable to find food" on her own. Thank goodness for expensive university meal plans!
I'm sad to see this season of life, with all our kids at home, come to a close. For 18 glorious, colorful and blessed years, the five of us have done life together within the walls of our own tiny nest (although a much bigger one in Texas! ; ) God used even the smallest of his creatures to illustrate how absurd it would be to remain in the nest when it is time to fly. There is so much for Katie to learn and experience in the world beyond our walls as she makes an independent life on her own. Mixed with sadness comes hopeful expectation as I'm sure Katie will make a significant impact in this life. Her love for the Lord and her steely determination are a powerful combination for good and for God's glory.
With overwhelming gratitude and joy, I am thrilled to officially announce that I will be taking Katie Belle far beyond the nest of our home shortly after graduation. We will travel to Zambia, Africa to serve with a mission organization called Family Legacy. Katie will work at a camp and I will work in a Christian school. I can't think of a better way to send her off to college than to share her passion for missions along with my heart for orphans. For several years, I've longed to return to the impoverished villages of Africa and it has been a dream of Katie's to go and serve with me. As we prepare to leave the comfort and safety of the nest together, we are grateful for the Lord's protection no matter how far we go. We are both stunned by His provision through our loved ones, after doubting that it would be possible for both of us to go. We could not take this enormous step out of our comfort zone without the overwhelming generosity and faithful prayers of our family and friends. It seems this blog is coming full circle as it began in preparation of my first trip to Zambia. It's exciting to anticipate what the Lord will do in the lives of His children (including us) this summer. I'm humbled with thanksgiving for His steadfast love and His faithful work in our lives.
"Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to the span of life? ...... Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." (from Matthew 6)
I'm sad to see this season of life, with all our kids at home, come to a close. For 18 glorious, colorful and blessed years, the five of us have done life together within the walls of our own tiny nest (although a much bigger one in Texas! ; ) God used even the smallest of his creatures to illustrate how absurd it would be to remain in the nest when it is time to fly. There is so much for Katie to learn and experience in the world beyond our walls as she makes an independent life on her own. Mixed with sadness comes hopeful expectation as I'm sure Katie will make a significant impact in this life. Her love for the Lord and her steely determination are a powerful combination for good and for God's glory.
With overwhelming gratitude and joy, I am thrilled to officially announce that I will be taking Katie Belle far beyond the nest of our home shortly after graduation. We will travel to Zambia, Africa to serve with a mission organization called Family Legacy. Katie will work at a camp and I will work in a Christian school. I can't think of a better way to send her off to college than to share her passion for missions along with my heart for orphans. For several years, I've longed to return to the impoverished villages of Africa and it has been a dream of Katie's to go and serve with me. As we prepare to leave the comfort and safety of the nest together, we are grateful for the Lord's protection no matter how far we go. We are both stunned by His provision through our loved ones, after doubting that it would be possible for both of us to go. We could not take this enormous step out of our comfort zone without the overwhelming generosity and faithful prayers of our family and friends. It seems this blog is coming full circle as it began in preparation of my first trip to Zambia. It's exciting to anticipate what the Lord will do in the lives of His children (including us) this summer. I'm humbled with thanksgiving for His steadfast love and His faithful work in our lives.
"Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to the span of life? ...... Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." (from Matthew 6)
Saturday, January 2, 2016
After the Sparkly Lights
We welcomed 2016 with happy, noisy teenagers upstairs and loud fireworks outside our window while under the covers of our bed, still not asleep. For some reason while curled up in my PJ's, this moment seemed significant. I was tempted to jump out of bed and go watch the neighbor's fireworks or to join the teenage party upstairs at the outset of a new year. I longed for a sparkly party hat or obnoxious noise maker as I spent a few minutes reflecting on the passing of another year with unknown experiences and opportunities ahead. Of course, Kyle would have been annoyed by either celebratory option, so I closed my eyes and welcomed 2016 as quietly as any other year. Maybe I'm more aware of the significance of the passing of one year as we will watch our daughters leave home over the next 4 and half years, with the oldest going on to big things in 2016.
During the holiday season, festive sparkly lights have been a constant theme. In early December, our anniversary included the brilliant display of lights at the Gaylord Texas. At the end of the month, Christmas Eve was particularly festive as we enjoyed the bright and colorful lights of Main Street Grapevine and Sundance Square in Fort Worth. Of course, throughout the season, every street and shopping mall sparkled with a lovely scene. Then, upon the arrival of New Year's day, we stayed in our PJ's through out the day and we removed all things festive and sparkly from our home. With black eyed peas, cornbread and cheesecake in our tummies, we put Christmas away. The house seemed so bare, so plain and sort of sad without bells, garland, ornaments and twinkling lights in every room. While I know all of these bright and festive surroundings are trivial and insignificant, this year the season seemed sweeter and the lights seemed brighter. In recent years, after losing my Dad, the shine of the holidays grew dim. Christmas reminded me of the light and joy he brought to our lives. I'm thankful that in the process of grief there is a return of childlike joy in the midst of the holidays.
Here we are at the beginning of 2016. As we return to the normal routine of life without all the bells and lights, I am reminded of a favorite line from a most recent movie: "the ordinary meets the extraordinary every day". The lights will be removed from neighborhood homes and schedules will resume without multiple gift exchanges or continuous feasting, but the beauty of ordinary life shines brightly as we hop out of bed each morning and give ourselves to what God has called us to do. The light of Christ shines brightly as young mothers sacrifice and serve their little ones and as teenage students honor the Lord in the midst of surroundings that deny Him. There is glorious light and grace and mercy as we get on our knees and pray for those who insult and persecute us, as we love our enemies and turn from the temptation to gossip and slander our brothers and sisters. May the light of Christ shine brightly in our lives this year. May we love one another abundantly as we seek to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind. Happy New Year friends! I look forward to seeing how the Lord works His light in our lives this year.
During the holiday season, festive sparkly lights have been a constant theme. In early December, our anniversary included the brilliant display of lights at the Gaylord Texas. At the end of the month, Christmas Eve was particularly festive as we enjoyed the bright and colorful lights of Main Street Grapevine and Sundance Square in Fort Worth. Of course, throughout the season, every street and shopping mall sparkled with a lovely scene. Then, upon the arrival of New Year's day, we stayed in our PJ's through out the day and we removed all things festive and sparkly from our home. With black eyed peas, cornbread and cheesecake in our tummies, we put Christmas away. The house seemed so bare, so plain and sort of sad without bells, garland, ornaments and twinkling lights in every room. While I know all of these bright and festive surroundings are trivial and insignificant, this year the season seemed sweeter and the lights seemed brighter. In recent years, after losing my Dad, the shine of the holidays grew dim. Christmas reminded me of the light and joy he brought to our lives. I'm thankful that in the process of grief there is a return of childlike joy in the midst of the holidays.
Here we are at the beginning of 2016. As we return to the normal routine of life without all the bells and lights, I am reminded of a favorite line from a most recent movie: "the ordinary meets the extraordinary every day". The lights will be removed from neighborhood homes and schedules will resume without multiple gift exchanges or continuous feasting, but the beauty of ordinary life shines brightly as we hop out of bed each morning and give ourselves to what God has called us to do. The light of Christ shines brightly as young mothers sacrifice and serve their little ones and as teenage students honor the Lord in the midst of surroundings that deny Him. There is glorious light and grace and mercy as we get on our knees and pray for those who insult and persecute us, as we love our enemies and turn from the temptation to gossip and slander our brothers and sisters. May the light of Christ shine brightly in our lives this year. May we love one another abundantly as we seek to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind. Happy New Year friends! I look forward to seeing how the Lord works His light in our lives this year.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Remember When
Typically, I love to write as I try to make sense of the mess of life with the HOPE of heaven in view. However, in the recent weeks, I haven't been able to make sense of anything. Simply put, I've been down in the dumps.... including regular tears and mood swings that resemble the steepest drop of a roller coaster. It's a pretty uneventful season in life with no tragedy or significant crisis in our lives, yet, I'm feeling blue consistently. When our church publicized a "depression study", my oldest commented to her Dad, "Mom needs to go to that!" So I did and it was very encouraging.
While I can't put my finger on a specific trigger, I am mindful that a mixture of mid-forty hormone changes and our oldest being a senior (a cocktail of circumstances) comes with side effects. I know that I'm going to miss so much about parenting and the child rearing years when Katie goes off to college next year, but I guarantee I will not miss this phase. Of course, I will miss her presence and her lovely ways, but the high stakes parenting with children who long to be independent, not so much.
Just this morning, one of my all time favorite songs played in the car while driving to work-- Alan Jackson's "Remember When" flooded my thoughts with the past 18 (fleeting) years of parenting. During a 15 minute drive, images of Katie filled my mind. For some reason, two years of age seems to bring the most vivid memories. While Katie was an easy baby and an extremely compliant school age girl (still is), I remember distinctly her strong will showing up in full color as a toddler. Daily interactions included her exclaiming: "Katie do it" and also lengthy tantrums. With little ones, we insisted the girls not have an audience during their fits, so we sent them to the rooms to have it out. Caroline's protests were powerful, but very short lived. Baby Kelly would stop crying in route to her room, but Katie was a completely different story. I remember her (bobbed hair and bangs with a pink bow on the top of her head wearing a pink gingham shirt, polo khaki skort and white sandals) standing in a nook of her room raising the volume of her protest upon hearing a parent near by in our Philadelphia home (seems like yesterday). She could keep it going like no other. While driving, it hit me that we are in another season where our daughter is ready to exert her will. Thankfully, there are NO lengthy tantrums, but there is a sense of "Katie do it" that is reasonable and appropriate for her age. Even Caroline is stretching her independent legs with the ability to drive places on her own. Four licensed drivers with three cars can be a bit complicated.... definitely a "first world problem", but a puzzle we engage in each day.
I don't know how other parents process the final year with their first born at home or the inevitable reality that they are leaving home. Most days, it's not even on my radar, but clearly there is a low grade sadness going on beneath the surface. This seems like the first chapter in a book titled: "Wrapping up the Parenting Gig". However, our version reads with more questions than answers. I'm convinced every parent has a sweet spot where they are most confident and effective. It seems I peaked in the early years. : ) I'm thankful for a husband who is clearly made for parenting in the teen years and also for friends and family who come alongside as I look for answers and support. I'm especially grateful, after nearly 18 years as a mother, that God showers our parenting with grace. All three of our girls exceed the hopes and prayers I have for them as they reflect and honor the Lord with their thoughtful, loving and most gracious ways. I'm crazy thankful to be a part of His plan for their lives.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (also used on Katie's senior parking space)
While I can't put my finger on a specific trigger, I am mindful that a mixture of mid-forty hormone changes and our oldest being a senior (a cocktail of circumstances) comes with side effects. I know that I'm going to miss so much about parenting and the child rearing years when Katie goes off to college next year, but I guarantee I will not miss this phase. Of course, I will miss her presence and her lovely ways, but the high stakes parenting with children who long to be independent, not so much.
Just this morning, one of my all time favorite songs played in the car while driving to work-- Alan Jackson's "Remember When" flooded my thoughts with the past 18 (fleeting) years of parenting. During a 15 minute drive, images of Katie filled my mind. For some reason, two years of age seems to bring the most vivid memories. While Katie was an easy baby and an extremely compliant school age girl (still is), I remember distinctly her strong will showing up in full color as a toddler. Daily interactions included her exclaiming: "Katie do it" and also lengthy tantrums. With little ones, we insisted the girls not have an audience during their fits, so we sent them to the rooms to have it out. Caroline's protests were powerful, but very short lived. Baby Kelly would stop crying in route to her room, but Katie was a completely different story. I remember her (bobbed hair and bangs with a pink bow on the top of her head wearing a pink gingham shirt, polo khaki skort and white sandals) standing in a nook of her room raising the volume of her protest upon hearing a parent near by in our Philadelphia home (seems like yesterday). She could keep it going like no other. While driving, it hit me that we are in another season where our daughter is ready to exert her will. Thankfully, there are NO lengthy tantrums, but there is a sense of "Katie do it" that is reasonable and appropriate for her age. Even Caroline is stretching her independent legs with the ability to drive places on her own. Four licensed drivers with three cars can be a bit complicated.... definitely a "first world problem", but a puzzle we engage in each day.
I don't know how other parents process the final year with their first born at home or the inevitable reality that they are leaving home. Most days, it's not even on my radar, but clearly there is a low grade sadness going on beneath the surface. This seems like the first chapter in a book titled: "Wrapping up the Parenting Gig". However, our version reads with more questions than answers. I'm convinced every parent has a sweet spot where they are most confident and effective. It seems I peaked in the early years. : ) I'm thankful for a husband who is clearly made for parenting in the teen years and also for friends and family who come alongside as I look for answers and support. I'm especially grateful, after nearly 18 years as a mother, that God showers our parenting with grace. All three of our girls exceed the hopes and prayers I have for them as they reflect and honor the Lord with their thoughtful, loving and most gracious ways. I'm crazy thankful to be a part of His plan for their lives.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (also used on Katie's senior parking space)
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Oh, What a Beautiful Life
As I drove home from school today, Nick Fradiani's hit, "Beautiful Life" blared on Satellite Radio. I thoroughly enjoy these moments alone with good (loud) music- where I have time for reflection and to get motivated for the day. The lyrics, "Oh, what a beautiful life..." ring true, but lately beauty has shown most brightly through the ugliest of circumstances.
In the recent months, those closest to us have become acquainted with repulsive words like cancer, adultery, fits of rage, bitterness, gossip/slander, selfish pride and heartbreak. (You will find me among this awful list. I do not look down on fellow sinners as I struggle in this life!) I'm not going to lie to you; this season of trial has shaken me and has made me feel vulnerable. Honestly, my faith has been tested and I've been reminded that "my only comfort in life and in death is that I am not my own, but belong body and soul.... to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ." My heart and prayers have been lifted to Him in unprecedented ways. It's as if I enrolled in Christianity 101 to relearn the basics of the faith: God works to redeem what is vile and broken in order to create something profoundly beautiful. Just think of the "greats" from scripture (King David, Paul, Peter- just to name a few)... all terribly flawed, but used by God for His glory and for the redemption and restoration of His people.
I've been reminded that the Lord's goodness and mercy penetrates the darkest of times. The stunning beauty of powerful forgiveness and sacrificial service, as my loved ones have lifted their gaze to almighty God in times of need, has encouraged my soul. The beauty of His grace has shown through those I love so dearly. These testimonies deepen my faith and stir me to pray more fervently.
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's...... The LORD is merciful and gracious slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." Psalm 103
In the recent months, those closest to us have become acquainted with repulsive words like cancer, adultery, fits of rage, bitterness, gossip/slander, selfish pride and heartbreak. (You will find me among this awful list. I do not look down on fellow sinners as I struggle in this life!) I'm not going to lie to you; this season of trial has shaken me and has made me feel vulnerable. Honestly, my faith has been tested and I've been reminded that "my only comfort in life and in death is that I am not my own, but belong body and soul.... to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ." My heart and prayers have been lifted to Him in unprecedented ways. It's as if I enrolled in Christianity 101 to relearn the basics of the faith: God works to redeem what is vile and broken in order to create something profoundly beautiful. Just think of the "greats" from scripture (King David, Paul, Peter- just to name a few)... all terribly flawed, but used by God for His glory and for the redemption and restoration of His people.
I've been reminded that the Lord's goodness and mercy penetrates the darkest of times. The stunning beauty of powerful forgiveness and sacrificial service, as my loved ones have lifted their gaze to almighty God in times of need, has encouraged my soul. The beauty of His grace has shown through those I love so dearly. These testimonies deepen my faith and stir me to pray more fervently.
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's...... The LORD is merciful and gracious slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love." Psalm 103
That
I am not my own, 1
but belong with body and soul,
both in life and in death, 2
to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. 3 - See more at:
http://www.heidelberg-catechism.com/en/lords-days/1.html#sthash.wGXRqLpu.dpuf
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Treading New Ground
Summer 2015 flew by and it was full of travel as we covered much
new ground. This year we celebrated Mom's 70th birthday in the
Mediterranean Sea. In the midst of overwhelming sights, I was constantly and particularly struck by the
pathways beneath our feet, including the stone roads of Pompeii, the
ancient ruins of Greece, 2000+ year old mosaic floors in the Vatican,
courtyards and palaces of emperors in the area of Constantinople- Istanbul, Turkey and also the sinking gravel at the peak of Mt. Vesuvius. Even as we wrapped up our summer in the Colorado Rockies with multiple hikes (my favorite thing!!), we found unfamiliar trails and noticed a new favorite hike to resemble that sinking ground of Mt. Vesuvius... definitely not easy on our aging bodies.
It seems the summer days ended as quickly as they passed. This week teachers in Texas have begun the process of preparing for the 2015-2016 school year. There's always much anticipation as we enter a new school year. Typically, we return to work a week before the students for various professional development days. Still, as the days pass, we await official word of a new group of students for the upcoming year. While the first day of teacher work week is full of excitement and inspiration, the day of class lists is more serious for me. At this time precious babies are given to my care... those who are treading new ground in their young lives with Moms and Dads who are sending their treasured children off for an education, possibly for the first time. I do not take this repsonsibility lightly! Even as I'm helping my oldest daughter with the process of college applications (talk about new ground!) , I remember well the enormity of the decision of where to send her to kindergarten, so important and completely overwhelming that it led to the decision to homeschool her for a few years.
So.... today I got a new class list... such a great blessing! In two days, I will meet this precious group of students at Meet the Teacher. (another favorite thing!!!) The process of covering new ground together this year comes with eagerness, endless possibility, anxiousness (for teacher and students) and hopeful expectations. I am grateful for the Lord's goodness to me as He enables me to do a work I feel created to do. Here's to another wonderful school year with my newest friends!!!
It seems the summer days ended as quickly as they passed. This week teachers in Texas have begun the process of preparing for the 2015-2016 school year. There's always much anticipation as we enter a new school year. Typically, we return to work a week before the students for various professional development days. Still, as the days pass, we await official word of a new group of students for the upcoming year. While the first day of teacher work week is full of excitement and inspiration, the day of class lists is more serious for me. At this time precious babies are given to my care... those who are treading new ground in their young lives with Moms and Dads who are sending their treasured children off for an education, possibly for the first time. I do not take this repsonsibility lightly! Even as I'm helping my oldest daughter with the process of college applications (talk about new ground!) , I remember well the enormity of the decision of where to send her to kindergarten, so important and completely overwhelming that it led to the decision to homeschool her for a few years.
So.... today I got a new class list... such a great blessing! In two days, I will meet this precious group of students at Meet the Teacher. (another favorite thing!!!) The process of covering new ground together this year comes with eagerness, endless possibility, anxiousness (for teacher and students) and hopeful expectations. I am grateful for the Lord's goodness to me as He enables me to do a work I feel created to do. Here's to another wonderful school year with my newest friends!!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Reflections
During a somewhat aimless transition to summer days, with so much free time and so little routine, I'm starting each day with a morning walk. I crave and need routine, so this is a welcome daily habit. On the first morning of summer, while taking a walk, I was struck by my new found freedom (the luxury of morning exercise), clear blue skies, increasing heat, birds singing sweetly and a crisp reflection of houses on the surface of a neighborhood pond. I captured this image of homes reflecting on the water... thinking, "Yay, it's summer!" This morning included the same delight and routine, but my walk was delayed, making the reflection of those homes dull and blurry, yet still visible.
The timing of this fading reflection reminds me of the process of grief after you lose a loved one. The Lord comforts us and softens the sharp pain with gracious time. The ache, as if a boulder lives inside your chest, becomes lighter. Still, there are these times when the reflection of grief is stronger again. Just this week, there have been unexpected moments when the memory of Dad caused my chest to ache and the tears to flow. As we prepare for a big family trip, to celebrate Mom's 70th birthday, vivid memories of him fill my mind. A week from today, we leave on our 5th family cruise (the first without Dad). I look forward to standing on the bow and stern of the ship once again. In addition to thousands of family photos, I absolutely love to capture the reflections on the surface of the ocean. It is one of my all time favorite things in life..... right up there with sunset photos! : )
Over the last several years, it's surprised me, in the experience of grief, that the simplest things bring the greatest pain. Just yesterday, when Caroline asked me about doing laundry on the ship, my eyes unexpectedly filled with tears for the first time in months. I got to thinking........ Who will do laundry with me every day as we travel around the Mediterranean Sea? (nobody) Only Dad and I would let such "OCD issues" of clean clothes follow us around the globe. Who will knock on our cabin door at 6:30 in the morning (for no reason) while on VACATION? (nobody) Who will remind me to capture hundreds of photos by saying, "You're gonna miss the best shot!" (nobody) While my brother and I are certainly strong reflections of our father, we are way more laid back and deferential than he was. Our Dad was a powerful force in life and especially in our family. He led and we all knew to follow. End of story! Who will lead our group as we engage with new cultures of our world? (With an increasing number of young adults in the family, the answer to this question will be fun to witness as Dad is reflected in each of them.) He will certainly be missed!
The timing of this fading reflection reminds me of the process of grief after you lose a loved one. The Lord comforts us and softens the sharp pain with gracious time. The ache, as if a boulder lives inside your chest, becomes lighter. Still, there are these times when the reflection of grief is stronger again. Just this week, there have been unexpected moments when the memory of Dad caused my chest to ache and the tears to flow. As we prepare for a big family trip, to celebrate Mom's 70th birthday, vivid memories of him fill my mind. A week from today, we leave on our 5th family cruise (the first without Dad). I look forward to standing on the bow and stern of the ship once again. In addition to thousands of family photos, I absolutely love to capture the reflections on the surface of the ocean. It is one of my all time favorite things in life..... right up there with sunset photos! : )
Over the last several years, it's surprised me, in the experience of grief, that the simplest things bring the greatest pain. Just yesterday, when Caroline asked me about doing laundry on the ship, my eyes unexpectedly filled with tears for the first time in months. I got to thinking........ Who will do laundry with me every day as we travel around the Mediterranean Sea? (nobody) Only Dad and I would let such "OCD issues" of clean clothes follow us around the globe. Who will knock on our cabin door at 6:30 in the morning (for no reason) while on VACATION? (nobody) Who will remind me to capture hundreds of photos by saying, "You're gonna miss the best shot!" (nobody) While my brother and I are certainly strong reflections of our father, we are way more laid back and deferential than he was. Our Dad was a powerful force in life and especially in our family. He led and we all knew to follow. End of story! Who will lead our group as we engage with new cultures of our world? (With an increasing number of young adults in the family, the answer to this question will be fun to witness as Dad is reflected in each of them.) He will certainly be missed!
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Time to Go
As I wrap up another school year with my sweet students, I'm struck with how quickly the year went! We've had a truly fabulous year together.... one of the best! Every year, I'm thankful for the opportunity to be a part of a child's life (8 hours each day!), but at the same time I'm aware that my influence is limited to a period of time and then it's done. Once again, as the final days roll by, I wonder if I've done enough. Did I figure out how to motivate each student? Did I make them feel loved and safe? Do they know that I believe they are capable of greatness and that they inspire me each and every day? Teachers have this annual stewardship reminder with such a weighty role and influence in the lives of children for a time.
While teachers are given 9+ months to invest in the lives of students, parents are given 18 years of influence. As I consider the speed of this school year, it brings me to tears, because it marks the beginning of our final school year with our daughter. I ask myself similar questions as those of a teacher: Have I done enough? Does my daughter know how she inspires me? Does she know that she is capable of greatness? Does she know how much she is loved? (Mother/daughter tension leaves this in question many days, even today.) Have I taught her to make choices to enhance her safety? Not to mention, I still need to teach her how to cook and to be a homemaker. Here's hoping, like her Mama, she will rise to the occasion. I can barely hold it together as I consider the senior year and all the reminders that she is leaving. How have my relatives and childhood friends made it through this season with (seemingly) so much composure?!? I look at their graduation announcements on display in the kitchen with great joy, satisfaction and much sympathy. Senior year hasn't even started and I'm a bundle of emotion already.... a complete mess!
Lately, the increasing speed and passing of time both intrigues and frustrates me. Every May, after all the testing and end of year projects are complete, I tend to savor classroom morning meetings even more. I listen to their stories with added interest and realize our time together is precious and fleeting. I want to hold on to my sweet students and keep them in kindergarten a while longer. I wish there was a pause button. Still, there is no greater desire to make time stop than with my own child. We're living in those fleeting moments just before her inevitable launch to adulthood. This comes with obvious tension and sadness. I can almost hear the ticking of a clock and it nags at me.
Thankfully, there will be a day when the passing of time is no more. For eternity, we will never feel the ticking of a clock or the fleeting of days. When it is our time to go, we will be in the presence of the Lord forever. This gives such comfort and peace.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
While teachers are given 9+ months to invest in the lives of students, parents are given 18 years of influence. As I consider the speed of this school year, it brings me to tears, because it marks the beginning of our final school year with our daughter. I ask myself similar questions as those of a teacher: Have I done enough? Does my daughter know how she inspires me? Does she know that she is capable of greatness? Does she know how much she is loved? (Mother/daughter tension leaves this in question many days, even today.) Have I taught her to make choices to enhance her safety? Not to mention, I still need to teach her how to cook and to be a homemaker. Here's hoping, like her Mama, she will rise to the occasion. I can barely hold it together as I consider the senior year and all the reminders that she is leaving. How have my relatives and childhood friends made it through this season with (seemingly) so much composure?!? I look at their graduation announcements on display in the kitchen with great joy, satisfaction and much sympathy. Senior year hasn't even started and I'm a bundle of emotion already.... a complete mess!
Lately, the increasing speed and passing of time both intrigues and frustrates me. Every May, after all the testing and end of year projects are complete, I tend to savor classroom morning meetings even more. I listen to their stories with added interest and realize our time together is precious and fleeting. I want to hold on to my sweet students and keep them in kindergarten a while longer. I wish there was a pause button. Still, there is no greater desire to make time stop than with my own child. We're living in those fleeting moments just before her inevitable launch to adulthood. This comes with obvious tension and sadness. I can almost hear the ticking of a clock and it nags at me.
Thankfully, there will be a day when the passing of time is no more. For eternity, we will never feel the ticking of a clock or the fleeting of days. When it is our time to go, we will be in the presence of the Lord forever. This gives such comfort and peace.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Hope and New Life
After nearly 3 years of very consistent blog posts, I've had writer's block in the recent months. (Sure, there's plenty to write about-- In the recent weeks, we've happily used the term boyfriend in our house for the first time since becoming parents!) Surprisingly, my last post was in the heart of winter and now spring is fully under way in Texas. My goal in writing has always been to offer encouragement as I lift my gaze to Christ's goodness. In the midst of all circumstances, including great joy and deep sorrow, the Lord's faithfulness has been my comfort. Lately, I've been discouraged and have not had the motivation, desire or words to fit with this purpose for writing. The dreary and colorless winter days have been reflected in my dull attitude and this idle blog. However, in the recent weeks, the smallest signs of life formed throughout the neighborhood. Just last week, I took photos of many trees covered in tiny buds and I was struck by these miniature symbols of hope. When facing a dark providence, as many of our loved ones are, the smallest bit of hope reminds us of God's steadfast love and His promise to never leave us or forsake us, even as we "walk through the valley of the shadow of death".
As the landscape turns increasingly green with living things in full bloom, Christians all over the world celebrate Easter. You can taste a growing sense of hope as believers greet each other with "He is risen."...."He is risen indeed!" The power of the resurrection can be perceived as more effective during certain seasons of the church calendar. I will admit to being fully encouraged by this reminder of the Lord's sufficient work on my behalf. My prayers are more earnest as I reflect on the fact that Christ is alive and reigning.
Good Friday was the darkest day in history, unlike the most dreary of winter days, as our Lord suffered unimaginable torture while being forsaken by His father. However, through His crucifixion, death and burial, a most hopeless narrative, He defeated sin and death for the sinful souls of mankind. As reformed Presbyterians, we don't emphasize the church calendar, the "holy days", because we celebrate the resurrection every Lord's day. Every Sunday is Easter Sunday in our church, yet the power of the resurrection becomes distant and seemingly impotent as we settle into our weekly Sunday routines. The reality that Christ is alive and ruling in heaven should fuel my prayers and encourage my soul no matter the season or Christian holiday. Almost twenty-seven years ago, a tiny seed of faith and new life sprouted up in my soul. Since then, through seasons of doubt, discouragement, hope and renewal, He has been faithful to nourish and grow my faith in Him.
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
As the landscape turns increasingly green with living things in full bloom, Christians all over the world celebrate Easter. You can taste a growing sense of hope as believers greet each other with "He is risen."...."He is risen indeed!" The power of the resurrection can be perceived as more effective during certain seasons of the church calendar. I will admit to being fully encouraged by this reminder of the Lord's sufficient work on my behalf. My prayers are more earnest as I reflect on the fact that Christ is alive and reigning.
Good Friday was the darkest day in history, unlike the most dreary of winter days, as our Lord suffered unimaginable torture while being forsaken by His father. However, through His crucifixion, death and burial, a most hopeless narrative, He defeated sin and death for the sinful souls of mankind. As reformed Presbyterians, we don't emphasize the church calendar, the "holy days", because we celebrate the resurrection every Lord's day. Every Sunday is Easter Sunday in our church, yet the power of the resurrection becomes distant and seemingly impotent as we settle into our weekly Sunday routines. The reality that Christ is alive and ruling in heaven should fuel my prayers and encourage my soul no matter the season or Christian holiday. Almost twenty-seven years ago, a tiny seed of faith and new life sprouted up in my soul. Since then, through seasons of doubt, discouragement, hope and renewal, He has been faithful to nourish and grow my faith in Him.
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Steps
2015 begins with a frequent and often annoying question around the Oliphint house. "How many steps do you have?" Everyone got a fitbit for Christmas and some of us are tracking our steps daily. Sadly, it doesn't really motivate us to exercise (not much of a New Year's resolution family), but it does give a clear picture of active days, days when we are resting or even when we are just being slugs. As a kindergarten teacher, the accumulation of a lot of little steps is not hard to accomplish. Weekends leave me feeling sluggish as my daily total cuts in half (or less) of weekday activity.
While it's beginning of a new year, it's also the end of the semester-- the half way point for the school year. This is the time of year when kindergarten teachers (I assume all teachers) see their students take off with confidence using new skills and strategies. Dozens and dozens of little steps add up to create precious readers and writers. Every August I think to myself: the task it too hard, there are too many individual needs, there is too much material to cover and too many little steps on the road ahead. So, we begin with the basics- one day at a time: Letters have names and sounds. Letters make words. Words have spaces between them. Words combine to make (complete thoughts) sentences. We move from left to right and top to bottom to make sense of these sentences. Oh, right after we get a handle on individual letter sounds, we discover that letter combinations make a mess of everything, so we have fun tackling the crazy combinations of letter sounds. It's all these tiny steps that build something beautiful and bigger than any of us, something as natural as learning to speak.
Just this week, we observed a school holiday honoring Martin Luther King Jr. Over the break, Kyle and I went to see the Oscar nominated film Selma, which portrays some of the small steps along a very long road to freedom. The movie literally shows thousands of people stepping arm in arm to advance the movement towards racial equality. It struck me that this movie, filled with brutality, hate and evil, took place within my husband's lifetime and just before I was born. Upon returning to school, I read an age-appropriate story about MLK to my students. Beautiful faces of every color listened intently as we read some of our country's recent past. Millions of steps in history (from Lincoln to MLK) worked to form this image of God given equality before my eyes on the classroom rug.
Finally, tonight our church family- Grace Community Presbyterian Church- celebrates a decade of ministry together in Ft. Worth, Texas. When the Oliphints moved to Texas ten years ago, our girls were 2 (and three quarters), 5 and 7 years old. We joined a church plant, not yet an organized church, where we worshiped in a strip mall, a day school and a local elementary cafeteria. Over the years, our family has had a front row seat-- witnessing God's blessing on this body of believers. Our faithful Lord has ordained countless steps while building His church. As I look back over the decade(s), I am increasingly mindful of His powerful presence every step of the way and His redeeming work in my life.
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me. Redeem me from man's oppression, that I may keep your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant, and teach me your statutes. My eyes shed streams of tears, because people do not keep your law." Psalm 119
"I waited patiently for the LORD, he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Psalm 40
"The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16
While it's beginning of a new year, it's also the end of the semester-- the half way point for the school year. This is the time of year when kindergarten teachers (I assume all teachers) see their students take off with confidence using new skills and strategies. Dozens and dozens of little steps add up to create precious readers and writers. Every August I think to myself: the task it too hard, there are too many individual needs, there is too much material to cover and too many little steps on the road ahead. So, we begin with the basics- one day at a time: Letters have names and sounds. Letters make words. Words have spaces between them. Words combine to make (complete thoughts) sentences. We move from left to right and top to bottom to make sense of these sentences. Oh, right after we get a handle on individual letter sounds, we discover that letter combinations make a mess of everything, so we have fun tackling the crazy combinations of letter sounds. It's all these tiny steps that build something beautiful and bigger than any of us, something as natural as learning to speak.
Just this week, we observed a school holiday honoring Martin Luther King Jr. Over the break, Kyle and I went to see the Oscar nominated film Selma, which portrays some of the small steps along a very long road to freedom. The movie literally shows thousands of people stepping arm in arm to advance the movement towards racial equality. It struck me that this movie, filled with brutality, hate and evil, took place within my husband's lifetime and just before I was born. Upon returning to school, I read an age-appropriate story about MLK to my students. Beautiful faces of every color listened intently as we read some of our country's recent past. Millions of steps in history (from Lincoln to MLK) worked to form this image of God given equality before my eyes on the classroom rug.
Finally, tonight our church family- Grace Community Presbyterian Church- celebrates a decade of ministry together in Ft. Worth, Texas. When the Oliphints moved to Texas ten years ago, our girls were 2 (and three quarters), 5 and 7 years old. We joined a church plant, not yet an organized church, where we worshiped in a strip mall, a day school and a local elementary cafeteria. Over the years, our family has had a front row seat-- witnessing God's blessing on this body of believers. Our faithful Lord has ordained countless steps while building His church. As I look back over the decade(s), I am increasingly mindful of His powerful presence every step of the way and His redeeming work in my life.
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me. Redeem me from man's oppression, that I may keep your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant, and teach me your statutes. My eyes shed streams of tears, because people do not keep your law." Psalm 119
"I waited patiently for the LORD, he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Psalm 40
"The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Bitter and Sweet
Here it is the last day of December, not to mention the last day of the year, and I haven't written anything this month. Our calendar has been packed with celebration, so why don't I feel like writing? Even this post is just an attempt to check the "December box" with a self-imposed obligatory update. Two words capture the Christmas holiday season in my mind: bitter and sweet. For me, it is so different from Thanksgiving where the overwhelming theme is one of gratitude.
We started off the month with a luxurious overnight in Dallas celebrating our anniversary. The hotel staff greeted us with enormous strawberries completely covered in dark chocolate. Kyle insisted that I should try them, as they were beyond delicious, but I just couldn't. Bitter and sweet do not mix well in my mind (or my taste buds). Still, I wonder if I'm missing something. Is there something profoundly good in the mixture of these two "tastes".
So much of life is a combination of bitter and sweet moments and the Christmas season seems to magnify this experience for me. With all of the joy and festivity (sweetness) surrounding the holidays, I tend to be sad this time of year, especially mindful of great loss (bitterness) in our lives. Every time I turn on the computer or the television, I read another story of tragedy and suffering. Just yesterday, I read a blog post of a young mother suffering well; I was stunned as she wove the bitterness of a life crushing disease with the sweetness of her faith in Christ. Unlike this dear saint, I am relatively untouched by the harsh realities of life in a fallen world or of a broken body. Her testimony of faith (see below) including the strength and peace that comes only from the Lord Jesus encourages my soul as I anticipate 2015.
Happy New Year, friends! May we taste the sweetness of God's amazing grace in the year ahead and be transformed by "the hope of Christmas".
http://myjourneywithibc.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-hope-of-christmas.html?m=1
We started off the month with a luxurious overnight in Dallas celebrating our anniversary. The hotel staff greeted us with enormous strawberries completely covered in dark chocolate. Kyle insisted that I should try them, as they were beyond delicious, but I just couldn't. Bitter and sweet do not mix well in my mind (or my taste buds). Still, I wonder if I'm missing something. Is there something profoundly good in the mixture of these two "tastes".
So much of life is a combination of bitter and sweet moments and the Christmas season seems to magnify this experience for me. With all of the joy and festivity (sweetness) surrounding the holidays, I tend to be sad this time of year, especially mindful of great loss (bitterness) in our lives. Every time I turn on the computer or the television, I read another story of tragedy and suffering. Just yesterday, I read a blog post of a young mother suffering well; I was stunned as she wove the bitterness of a life crushing disease with the sweetness of her faith in Christ. Unlike this dear saint, I am relatively untouched by the harsh realities of life in a fallen world or of a broken body. Her testimony of faith (see below) including the strength and peace that comes only from the Lord Jesus encourages my soul as I anticipate 2015.
Happy New Year, friends! May we taste the sweetness of God's amazing grace in the year ahead and be transformed by "the hope of Christmas".
http://myjourneywithibc.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-hope-of-christmas.html?m=1
Monday, November 24, 2014
Teach Me to Number My Days
Christmas cards have been ordered. Sparkling lights brighten the outside of our home and tubs of decorations fill the inside just waiting for a team of girls to go to work. The tree is up and Christmas music adds festivity. It's Thanksgiving break and we're so thankful for the week off-- including plenty of rest and time with extended family. My oldest daughter and her friends fill our house with delicious baked treats as they try out new recipes. The scene is picture perfect in many ways and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the rich blessings around us. So..... why do I feel so bah humbug as we welcome another holiday season? Even the annual tradition of watching "Elf" felt odd to me this year. It's not the typical to-do list, the shopping requests or the commercialization of Christmas that gets to me. I think it's the passing of time and the increased speed of each year that gives me pause. I keep thinking, "Didn't we JUST welcome the New Year?!" "2014-- where did it go?" "It seems we just celebrated Thanksgiving in Katy, Texas." These thoughts go on and on as I feel like it should be spring or early summer, NOT quickly approaching winter already! And, whatever happened to fall in Texas?! It's my favorite season and it lasted close to 10 days with the late departure of unwelcome heat and the early arrival of freezing weather. Of course the year was a full one-- we savored the busy days! We have multiple photo albums of memories reminding us of the Lord's goodness to us. I have no regrets. Still, I'm amazed by how quickly the weeks passed in 2014. It's as if the planets raced around the sun in their orbit making the seasons shorter somehow.
Maybe, this perspective is a normal mindset for those entering the mid-forties.... a midlife shift of sorts? Is this what they call a mid-life crisis? In the recent weeks, our church family welcomed two sweet baby girls and a baby boy to this world with great joy. At the same time, we celebrated the home-going of a dear sister-in-Christ as she entered the glories of heaven. Both beginning and end of life give us pause and cause us to offer much praise and thanksgiving to God. While these precious babies know none of the sufferings of life in a fallen world as they begin their days on earth, our amazing friend, who endured suffering through the various seasons of life, knows only peace in presence of her Savior as she also knows none of the sadness of this world anymore. Unlike these dear souls, I am in the middle of life on earth and all too aware of the tragic and horrific circumstances filling the news of our days. Thankfully, I am acquainted with the One who numbers our days and who rules over the the seasons with unending faithfulness. I rest in His care as He holds my days with steadfast love.
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want ......... Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever." from Psalm 23
Maybe, this perspective is a normal mindset for those entering the mid-forties.... a midlife shift of sorts? Is this what they call a mid-life crisis? In the recent weeks, our church family welcomed two sweet baby girls and a baby boy to this world with great joy. At the same time, we celebrated the home-going of a dear sister-in-Christ as she entered the glories of heaven. Both beginning and end of life give us pause and cause us to offer much praise and thanksgiving to God. While these precious babies know none of the sufferings of life in a fallen world as they begin their days on earth, our amazing friend, who endured suffering through the various seasons of life, knows only peace in presence of her Savior as she also knows none of the sadness of this world anymore. Unlike these dear souls, I am in the middle of life on earth and all too aware of the tragic and horrific circumstances filling the news of our days. Thankfully, I am acquainted with the One who numbers our days and who rules over the the seasons with unending faithfulness. I rest in His care as He holds my days with steadfast love.
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want ......... Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever." from Psalm 23
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Old Blog, New Name
For some time now, the name of my blog has bothered me---"Teacher's Notes". Originally, I started writing to keep notes while teaching in Africa, kind of a travel blog for family and friends back home. I never intended to continue writing after the summer of 2012. However, in God's providence, the "notes" continued following Dad's tragic accident and untimely death. Then, in the midst of a new season of parenting multiple teenagers, the words seemed to flow even more. Still, I'm not trying to TEACH anything to those who stumble across this blog, so the name seems unfitting. Sure, I'm a teacher, but I have no intention of sharing information from my classroom. My teaching profession is just one of the many aspects of life.
I've considered some questions to come up with a more appropriate name: Why do I write and what is the purpose? Is it just an online diary of sorts? As one who is prone to wander from the Lord in my thoughts, words and deeds, just as a sheep wanders from the fold, I hope my writing reflects a journey of stumbling faith in the midst of this broken world and mostly a faithful Shepherd who continually protects, guides and sustains me. I hope the grace and mercy of the Lord shines through my weakness and that fellow stumblers will be encouraged to seek Christ as well. In those moments when I feel the most vulnerable, such as middle of the night anxiousness, (most especially at my father's bedside during his final hours) "the Lord is my shepherd" plays over and over and over in my mind and heart. No matter the role-- teacher, mother, wife or friend--- I am no more than a needy sinner (a sheep) in need of the steadfast love and unending faithfulness of the Lord Jesus. His forgiving mercy and abundant goodness should be the theme of my writing. So much of life is confidential and not appropriate to share in a blog, but my journey with the Lord, in the midst of it all, is an open book and one that I will continue to record if the Lord wills.
"Know that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever; and his faithfulness to all generations." Psalm 100: 3-5
" Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43
I've considered some questions to come up with a more appropriate name: Why do I write and what is the purpose? Is it just an online diary of sorts? As one who is prone to wander from the Lord in my thoughts, words and deeds, just as a sheep wanders from the fold, I hope my writing reflects a journey of stumbling faith in the midst of this broken world and mostly a faithful Shepherd who continually protects, guides and sustains me. I hope the grace and mercy of the Lord shines through my weakness and that fellow stumblers will be encouraged to seek Christ as well. In those moments when I feel the most vulnerable, such as middle of the night anxiousness, (most especially at my father's bedside during his final hours) "the Lord is my shepherd" plays over and over and over in my mind and heart. No matter the role-- teacher, mother, wife or friend--- I am no more than a needy sinner (a sheep) in need of the steadfast love and unending faithfulness of the Lord Jesus. His forgiving mercy and abundant goodness should be the theme of my writing. So much of life is confidential and not appropriate to share in a blog, but my journey with the Lord, in the midst of it all, is an open book and one that I will continue to record if the Lord wills.
"Know that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever; and his faithfulness to all generations." Psalm 100: 3-5
" Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." Isaiah 43
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Calculating 20 Years
We've seen a couple of movies this week relating to the theme of marriage, both including great infidelity--- In one of the stories the marriage was redeemed by God's grace and in the other it was broken. As I look back over the years, I'm especially thankful for God's faithfulness and his goodness to us. While our blessings are countless, I've done some calculating of the details of God's provision for our family. It is only by his grace that we anticipate our 20th anniversary together-- on December 10th.
What goes into twenty years of marriage?
1 faithful Lord-- Christ Jesus
2 needy sinners- thankful for the mercy of God
3 beautiful daughters who are growing in grace
4 cities-- Jacksonville, suburban Philadelphia, Tampa, Ft. Worth
5 zipcodes (including apartment living)
6 churches-- under the shepherding care of loving elders
7 pets-- lots of dead fish
8 cars-- many car payments and repairs
9 countries visited-- expanding our vision of world and the kingdom of God
10 years in TEXAS-- ten more on the east coast
11 employers/job titles between the two of us (including security detail, UPS and Barnes and Noble)
12 years with Kelly-- blessed by her joyful and abiding presence
13 summers hiking in Crested Butte
14 years of pastoral ministry (many more including youth ministry and young life)
15 years with sweet Caroline-- blessed by her depth, thoughtfulness and passionate ways
16 years as homeowners (3 homes)-- mowing various lawns with the SAME lawnmower
17 years as parents (nearly)-- blessed by Katie Belle's strength, determination and grace
18 anniversaries celebrated at home (pizza, finals, packing to move, & Lonesome Dove Bistro)
19 family vacations to CB (including ski trips)
20 glorious years together
Kyle, it's been quite a journey. I'm crazy thankful for the blessing of doing life by your side.
I love you very much!
Your Bee
What goes into twenty years of marriage?
1 faithful Lord-- Christ Jesus
2 needy sinners- thankful for the mercy of God
3 beautiful daughters who are growing in grace
4 cities-- Jacksonville, suburban Philadelphia, Tampa, Ft. Worth
5 zipcodes (including apartment living)
6 churches-- under the shepherding care of loving elders
7 pets-- lots of dead fish
8 cars-- many car payments and repairs
9 countries visited-- expanding our vision of world and the kingdom of God
10 years in TEXAS-- ten more on the east coast
11 employers/job titles between the two of us (including security detail, UPS and Barnes and Noble)
12 years with Kelly-- blessed by her joyful and abiding presence
13 summers hiking in Crested Butte
14 years of pastoral ministry (many more including youth ministry and young life)
15 years with sweet Caroline-- blessed by her depth, thoughtfulness and passionate ways
16 years as homeowners (3 homes)-- mowing various lawns with the SAME lawnmower
17 years as parents (nearly)-- blessed by Katie Belle's strength, determination and grace
18 anniversaries celebrated at home (pizza, finals, packing to move, & Lonesome Dove Bistro)
19 family vacations to CB (including ski trips)
20 glorious years together
Kyle, it's been quite a journey. I'm crazy thankful for the blessing of doing life by your side.
I love you very much!
Your Bee
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)